


Just Like in the Movies

by noxsoulmate



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternative Universe - Birthmarks, BAMF Rowena MacLeod, Based on a Tumblr Post, Birthmarks, Bookcrosser Dean Winchester, Bookshop Owner Dean Winchester, Bottom Cas Big Bang 2019 (Supernatural), Bottom Castiel/Top Dean Winchester, Famous Castiel, First Dates, First Kiss, First Meetings, Fluff and Smut, Friendship/Love, Happy Ending, M/M, Past Relationship(s), Smut, Strangers to Lovers, basically all the firsts, movie star Castiel, only some mild angst!!, snarky friends, supportive family, with amazing art
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-02
Updated: 2020-05-03
Packaged: 2021-03-01 18:27:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 46,914
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23951551
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/noxsoulmate/pseuds/noxsoulmate
Summary: In a world where a new mark appears whenever you fall in love, Hollywood sweetheart, Castiel James, is known for his unblemished skin. Oh, he has the faint shadows of old crushes and childish infatuations, but no mark is that of something deep and true. No mark has ever stuck, no mark has ever become more than a hazy outline. Because Cas, well... Cas has never been in love.The skin of bookshop owner Dean Winchester, however, tells another tale entirely. Dean loves freely, quickly, and deeply. He loves his family, he loves his friends, he still cares for his exes. While the first two don’t show on his skin, the latter do. All brushed over his body in various shapes and forms and colors. Of varying clarity. But even Dean has yet to get that one mark. That mark that sticks. The mark that is so deep, and so sharp, and so clear, it can only be that of a profound bond.These two men share a common hope; a common desire. That one day, they might have a mark that means they have found a love that is as deep and true as love can be - just like in the movies.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester, Gabriel/Sam Winchester, Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Comments: 88
Kudos: 675
Collections: Bottom Cas Big Bang 2019, The Destiel Fan Survey Favs Collection





	1. I Just Haven't Met You Yet

**Author's Note:**

> Hello and welcome to my entry to this year's [Bottom Cas Big Bang](https://bottomcasbigbang.tumblr.com/) 😊
> 
> I had the great pleasure of working together with [lotrspnfangirl](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lotrspnfangirl) and I am so, so amazed by all the art she has created for this - make sure to check out her [masterpost](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23939569/chapters/57570613)!!  
>  I could not have asked for a better partner and artist for this story!! You have brought to life so many scenes, so many pictures, so many articles I had envisioned and I can't thank you enough for that 😍 also, thanks for all your patience 😘
> 
> There are not enough words in the English language to describe my love for my beta and soulmate, [ArielSakura](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ArielSakura) 💕 I 💕 LOVE 💕 YOU 💕
> 
> ~*~*~*~*~*~
> 
> This fic is mostly based on this prompt:
> 
> and one scene was inspired by this:
> 
> I hope you will love it 😊
> 
> _Because of the current situation, I have decided to scratch a lot of the drama I had planned for this fic - there will always be a chance to write more parts later to add that. But for this fic, I wanted you all to be able to simply enjoy, to escape reality for a while, and to not have to worry about anything..._
> 
> I love you all, please stay safe and stay healthy 💙💚
> 
> And now, without further ado - ENJOY 😘

~*~*~*~

As the countdown began, Castiel James joined in, much like everybody else in the ballroom. And just like everybody else, he raised his glass, yelled, “Happy New Year!” and toasted towards the general direction of the room at large before he finished the expensive champagne in one go. He hugged some of those around him, blew kisses on the cheeks offered left and right, and joined into the general good mood of welcoming 2020.

_His year_ , if he believed not only his manager but also every important critique who had a say in Hollywood.

_His year_.

After grabbing another glass of champagne, Cas stepped out onto the balcony and scoffed. Raising his head, he watched as the snow slowly sailed to the earth, illuminated by thousands upon thousands of fireworks going off all around them. It was a beautiful spectacle - and yet, it hardly touched him.

Another year gone with no one to love.

His almost perfectly unblemished skin was proof of that.

Sometimes he wondered if he was incapable of loving another person. If he was aromantic or maybe - in his darker moments - simply broken. Or worse yet… nothing more than a shallow person, not suited for love. He had crushes in his youth, yes. Harmless infatuations when he grew older, true. But no birthmark ever intensified on his skin, all of them stayed shadowy. A brush of dust, sometimes not even strong enough to be seen without strenuous searching.

Another year, and he was still alone. 

No, he was sure he was not aromantic. He wished for - _longed for_ \- a love like the movies promised it; wished to feel what the characters he brought to life felt.

No, he knew he was very much romantically inclined, for he wanted it all. Someone to fall asleep with, wake up with. Laugh and cry with. His thoughts turned as he swirled the glass absently in his hand. 

For shallow he wasn’t either. He cared. He cared deeply for so many people, loved some even… just not in a romantic way.

So, was he broken? But from what? His heart certainly had not felt the heartwrenching agony he had seen in drama movies - he had never loved deeply enough to _have_ it broken.

Pulling up his sleeve, far enough only to reveal his wrist, he looked at his own birthmark.

Two seemingly black wings, interwoven with shades of blues and greens and purple; spread like those of an angel.

It was the reason his parents had named him after one. He had seen his own birthmark on the skin of so many of his fans as dusty shadows - some showing them to him proudly, some trying to cover them up. Everyone dealt differently with a crush on a celebrity, after all. 

But Castiel longed for the day that his wings would be etched on someone’s skin in the same deep shade that they were on his own.

In a similar way, he longed for the day that he would have a visible mark somewhere on his own body. As he watched the fireworks and snowflakes, as he listened to the laughter and music from the ballroom, Castiel made a wish for the New Year.

He wished to meet the one he could finally love.

~*~*~*~

_ ~ April 2020 ~ _

Looking around, Dean Winchester made sure no-one was watching him. As quick as humanly possible, he pulled the book out of his bag and put it into the little alcove right next to the window front of the pizzeria. Another quick move and he had taken a picture, then he was gone. Certain no-one had seen him as he took swiftly to the well-known streets, only stopping when he was a few blocks away.

With a few clicks, the picture along with some well-chosen hashtags was uploaded to his Instagram. It took barely a moment for the first likes to appear - _book_hunter_67_ had a huge fan base, after all. Though no-one knew who he really was, they _did_ know that the books he left around town were always worth it to hunt down.

Dean could not help his grin as he put his phone away. Sometimes he would wait for a bit, see who would find the book and pick it up. But today was his free day and it was a beautifully sunny April’s day, so he had decided to make it his mission to leave as many books as possible all over town.

And San Francisco was certainly huge.

_The Count of Monte Cristo_ had only been the sixth book of the day, at least a dozen more were in his bag, waiting to be left somewhere to be found by their new owner.

Dean had joined the _bookcrossing_ community - also called _books for strangers_ \- three years ago. Once he had noticed how much fun it was, he had the idea of not only leaving the books lying around, but to make it a mystery and a game all in one. Hence his anonymous Instagram and the scavenger hunt like vibes he gave off.

The community loved it - they loved _him_ , even though they didn’t know who he was. They only knew that he always delivered and some went so far as to call him the Banksy of bookcrossing. He grinned to himself as he crossed the street, remembering the first time a fan had called him that.

To be fair, his occupation did make it easy for Dean to always pick the best books, but that wasn’t information his followers needed to know.

Reaching his new destination, Dean was momentarily distracted by a commotion nearby.

Before he could look up, someone slammed into him, almost knocking him off his feet. He was able to catch himself on the wall of the next building instead of landing on the ground. It also meant he was able to stabilize the other person, preventing them from the same fate.

“I’m so sorry,” a rough voice whispered.

A voice, Dean had to admit, he would probably recognize anywhere. Because this voice? Yeah, this voice starred in a lot of his dreams and more than one sleepless night.

Dean’s head whipped up, almost knocking into the other person’s jaw and - _holy shit it’s really him!!!_

Wide blue eyes - _wow, they really **are** the color of the ocean_ \- looked at him before hastily looking back over his shoulder. Following the gaze, Dean saw a mob of girls and a couple of guys drawing closer and between their shrieking and Castiel’s wild gaze, Dean put two and two together.

Without thinking, he reached for the man’s hand.

“Come on,” he whispered, gaze lingering on the mob, maybe thirty, forty yards away now.

As if a spring had snapped, Dean was running and after some initial resistance, Castiel followed with little hesitation.

Dean had seen a lot coming today - but being chased around the backstreets and alleys of San Fran to outrun some crazy fans, Castiel James on his hand, was not one of them. 

But, well… it was certainly one way to spend the day.

Besides, the famous Hollywood star could not have run into a better option to outrun his fans than Dean Winchester himself. Who, thanks to his book hunting alias, knew the streets of San Fran better than a lot of other people.

Right next to the building they had been caught against, another alley started and Dean pulled Cas along with him. Rounding a few corners as the masses still screeched behind them. 

It wasn’t long, however, until the shrieks and calls faded to nothing. To be safe, Dean led them around one more corner before leaning against the wall, catching his breath. Cas did the same by his side, their breaths coming fast and hard as they sought to calm down. When their gazes met, Dean could not help the chuckle that bubbled up and broke through between his panting.

“Wow, okay,” he wheezed out. “That was crazy.”

“Yeah, it was,” Cas replied, equally having to catch his breath. “I apologize for that. But I’m equally eternally grateful. Thanks for saving me.”

“Any time, man.”

It was a few more moments before they were both able to speak without wheezing.

“I really am sorry for that,” Cas spoke again. “I don’t always run from my fans - oh, ehm… I’m Castiel James, by the way.”

Chuckling, Dean took the proffered hand.

“Dean Winchester. And yeah, man, I know who you are.”

_Oh boy, that might just be the understatement of the year,_ Dean thought.

“Oh,” Cas replied, looking somewhat shy about that admission. Dean had read that he was a generally humble guy. Someone who, at times, was still baffled by his fame.

It was cute to witness it himself.

“Anyway,” Cas went on. “Thank you. I think I was somewhat lost out there.”

“You definitely looked like it,” Dean replied with a chuckle. “Happy to help. But… sorry if this is too direct but… why _were_ you running? In the media, you always look like you enjoy interacting with your fans.”

“I do!” Cas was quick to assure, pushing his unruly hair back from his forehead. It was an unusually warm day in spring and Dean noticed their little workout had gotten him all sweaty, dark curls of his hair sticking to his face.

“I really do. Only it was… getting a bit much today? I don’t know. This group of fans… I know them. And I know that they all want to spend time with me for one particular reason…”

Cas left it hanging there, not finishing the sentence. And yet, Dean was sure to know what he meant. He had heard of such fans. Those that wanted to get famous people to fall for them so their tattoo would one day appear on the celebrity’s skin. And Cas, with his spotless body… yeah, Dean could see how he was a special target to his fans, though he couldn’t understand it. Love was not something that could be forced, much less should be, in Dean’s opinion.

Given the situation, Dean was more than relieved that his own shadowy imprint of two wings was safely covered where it was on his chest. 

He really could not help it. And it wasn’t as if this was the only birthmark of a celebrity to cover his skin. But the wings of Castiel James were unquestionably the most prominent. The guy was too badass and yet dorky, sexy and generous for his own good. Or for Dean’s heart to resist. 

As a person that loved quickly and freely, skin covered in birthmarks of various shades and intensity, of past loves and crushes and partners, how would Dean have ever stood a chance when he had first seen that smile and those blue eyes? True, it had been the character Cas had played at the time that Dean had first seen. But it was not that much later that he had seen the man himself during interviews and cons and…

Yeah, his heart really never stood a chance.

“That sucks,” he finally pressed out, bringing his head back to the topic at hand. Fans that suck and force themselves on celebrities - in the biblical sense or the emotional one, either way sucked. “Really sorry to hear that.”

“It’s okay,” Cas said, already looking around, probably trying to figure out where they were. “I’ve gotten used to it over the years. Hey, say… _where are we_?”

His question pulled a huffed laugh from Dean.

“Scared that I seized the moment and abducted you?”

That got him Cas’ attention back, blue eyes quickly flicking all over his face, before his lips pulled into a lopsided smirk. 

“No,” he simply replied, not elaborating any further. His smirk though told Dean that there was more to this statement.

Not pushing his luck, Dean straightened up.

“We’re close to where we started from. I led you around a circle. So if you want to, I can just take you back there.”

“I’m actually not sure how helpful that would be,” Cas replied, looking a bit awkward. “I really _was_ lost already by the time I slammed into you.”

“Oh, ehm… well in that case… ehm… want me to take you back to your hotel? Or wherever it is you’re staying while in town?”

“The Ritz Carlton,” Cas confirmed.

Dean nodded, knowing where it was located and it was one of the better ones in the city. 

“Okay, that’s a bit away from here. You strayed quite far from home,” Dean replied, already pulling out his phone. “I should probably call you a cab.”

“No, please.”

Out of nowhere, there was a hand on Dean’s, halting his movement. Although he had held Cas’ hand mere minutes ago, the gesture caused Dean’s pulse to start racing and goosebumps began raising on his arm. He looked up, once again captured by blue eyes.

“I much rather walk. If I’m back too early, my manager would just find an excuse to pull me back into work in some way or another. It’s my supposedly free day and I had quite enough of interviews or rehearsals or talks about other projects. If you could just point me in the right direction, that would be kind of you.”

“Dude, it’s at least a two-hour walk from here. The chances are very high that you might run into other fans again. Or paparazzi. Or that you’d get lost again.”

“Oh,” Cas replied, quite clearly saddened by this revelation. “I did not notice I had been walking around town for that long already.”

The saddened face touched a part of Dean’s heart that did not bode well for him - he was unable to handle seeing this emotion on Cas’ face and he needed to erase it.

“Tell you what,” he said with vigor, putting away his phone and adjusting his backpack. “I was on a mission, so to speak, and I could be convinced to take you with me. With a few adjustments, we can work our way towards your hotel and you should be back in your Ivory Tower in about three to four hours. Sounds good?”

“That sounds perfect,” Cas told him, his smile rivaling the sun, touching Dean’s heart in a completely different way.

He was quick to shove that feeling down.

“What? Not even gonna ask what my mission is?”

“Honestly? Your mission could be to catalog the streets of San Francisco and I would still be thrilled.”

Laughing out loud, Dean shook his head.

“God, you must really hate your manager. Or your work.”

“Neither, honestly. I love both very much,” Cas explained, sincerity thick in his voice. “But everybody needs a day off once in a while, don’t you think?”

“Absolutely.”

“Good. Well then, Dean Winchester. Lead the way and I will follow.”

It was obvious he meant it in a joking way - but Dean was sure Castiel James had no idea what these words alone did to him.

Or the birthmark on his chest, which Dean was sure had turned a shade more intense.

~*~*~*~

It had been nothing but the truth when Cas had told his new acquaintance he would have taken his offer no matter the mission. But that did not mean he wasn’t stunned when Dean finally revealed what that so-called mission really was.

Cas had heard of bookcrossing before - his younger cousin was a big fan of it and loved to join, though Claire often complained the community back in Pontiac, Illinois was not as big as she would wish it to be. As it seemed, however, San Francisco did not have such a problem. Knowing a bit about fame and fan numbers and such, Cas was amazed when Dean finally showed him his Instagram account - _after_ he swore on his firstborn not to give Dean’s secret identity away.

“Looks like you have a great fanbase.”

“Well, obviously nothing compared to some people,” Dean replied with a pointed look that made Cas roll his eyes. “But I guess for our community, it’s pretty good, yeah.”

“So this is what you do? Run around town and leave books?” Cas asked the next time they hid away in a side-alley. Dean had just taken a picture of the next book he had left lying around. He was typing away on his phone now, apparently uploading the picture and the info where to find it to Instagram.

“Mostly,” he finally replied once he was done. One last look on his phone and a satisfied grin, then the phone was back in his pocket and Dean picked up his bag. “I also sometimes stroll the library and hide notes in the books for others to find.”

“Notes? Like what?”

“Mhhh,” Dean replied, apparently thinking about it. “Different stuff. If it’s a good book, I tell them that they choose well or that they must be a beautiful human being for picking this book. If it’s a bad book I tell them what else they could read, something similar that might be better.”

“You’re judging the books then?”

“I guess?”

“And what makes you an expert to do so?” Cas questioned with a small note of good-natured mocking.

Thankfully, Dean seemed unoffended by that.

“Well, in real life, I own a bookshop.”

“Oh, wow,” Cas replied, honest admiration in his voice, the awe-struck statement his only interruption.

Dean nodded in acknowledgment of Cas’ reaction, the pride quite noticeable in the way he walked a bit straighter.

“It’s been a family business for three generations now. I basically grew up at that shop, learned everything from my Grandpa Henry and my Dad. I think I’ve read every book in the shop at least once.”

“Okay, okay,” Cas finally conceded, unable not to smile about Dean’s enthusiasm. “I guess you _are_ an expert then. So the books you hide here…?”

“Are from my own shop, yes. Grandpa left it to me with the order to make sure that ‘this new-age media shit’ won’t ruin people’s thrive to read.”

They both laughed over what Cas was sure were exactly the words of Dean’s grandfather.

“And this is the way you’re doing it. I guess your Grandpa can be proud of you.”

“Thanks,” Dean replied, sending him a warm smile.

For a moment, Cas contemplated asking why the shop did not go to his father but to Dean instead, but he felt it was perhaps too personal a question for someone he had just met.

He was spared from making a decision when Dean spoke again.

“I also hide notes in those library books that do nothing more but make people smile. Like: Smile, it will brighten your day.”

“I see, so you’re a walking fortune cookie.”

“Hey,” Dean exclaimed, playfully pushing him away.

Cas quickly caught himself, falling back into step next to Dean as he laughed with him. 

By now, they had already left three books on their way back to Cas’ hotel, and Dean assured him that it might not be the route he had originally planned, but it was still totally fine for him to show Cas the long way home. 

Over the past hour or so, Cas had found it more and more comfortable to talk to the man. Any initial trepidation that Dean might be another of _those_ fans, indeed seizing the moment, had been gone with the wind as quick as they had come. Though Cas was able to pull the admission from Dean that he was indeed a fan, Cas had a feeling Dean was different. So far, there had been no starstruck moment, no awkward gawking or anything alike. Dean was easy to talk to and he had no qualms of interacting normally with Cas.

It was exactly what Cas enjoyed so much right now. Something normal.

True, Dean was practically a stranger, so Cas was not able to _really_ tell if he was being his usual self. But he acted the way Cas wished most people would behave towards him. He had no trouble speaking to him - instead of screaming in his face or devolving into a blubbering mess - he was funny and open and did not ask any indecent questions. But mostly, he did not invade Cas’ space. At least not in an irksome way, as some fans liked to do.

In the bubble of their easy comfort, Cas had no problem with telling Dean a bit about his current movie. Sure, he wasn’t allowed to tell him everything - but it seemed enough to excite the movie enthusiast and to make him eager for the release of _‘Angel with a Shotgun’_. Besides, the results of yesterday’s pre-trailers photoshoot would be out within a few days. Posters and billboards would start to go up advertising the movie, so Cas didn’t feel too bad letting the name of the movie slip. 

They were close to be done with filming, post-production was supposed to start in May so the film could hit theaters in December. If all went well, the movie would get a bunch of Oscar nominations for next year’s Academy Awards - hopefully, one of them for Best Actor.

“I’m pretty sure you will get it,” Dean told him as they made their way to where he would leave a copy of ‘ _The Three Musketeers’_ , the ninth book of today. “I mean, you should have gotten an Oscar ages ago. It would only be fair.”

“Well, the Oscars aren’t exactly known to go by what would be considered ‘fair’,” Cas said, though he did not hide his smile, touched by Dean’s words.

“Yeah, but still. Didn’t that one critic say it was going to be ‘your year’? They all know what’s up, so it’s only rational that this will be the year you shoot the movie that brings you that Oscar.”

“Thank you, Dean.”

With the easy mood between them, the conversation flowing and stimulating, a lot of laughter mixed in… well, it was no wonder the sun was setting by the time Dean hid the last of his books. He quickly took the picture and then joined Cas in the shadows of an entryway to what looked like a private garden.

“Wow, how long have we been walking around town?” Cas finally asked, checking his phone. With a wince he realized for the first time that it was dead - God, Rowena would kill him. Knowing her, she had tried reaching him by now… more likely, there was already a police force searching for him.

“Ehm… going on six hours. Whoops,” Dean added, quickly typing out his last Instagram post, a slight blush dusting his cheeks. “Sorry, I totally didn’t notice.”

“Me neither,” Cas admitted, watching as Dean read over his message again before determinedly pressing send. Over the course of the last few hours, he had used those precious few seconds of Dean being distracted to really look at him.

Some people thought Cas had absolutely no interest in certain things, his skin apparently proof of that. Thing was… Cas might never have been in love - but he was no virgin and he surely wasn’t blind. And Dean Winchester was more than just easy on the eye. He was a stunning person and if anyone would have asked him, Cas would have said that Dean could easily be a movie star himself, or maybe a male model.

To say Cas would not mind seeing Dean again and maybe even have some more… _intimate_ meetings with him while he was in town, would definitely be an understatement.

Not that he was going to proposition him, God no. Not only had he no idea if Dean was interested in men, he also had no idea if maybe he was taken. Cas could not hit on him out of the blue after he had saved him today and then spent the next six hours walking him back to his hotel. By now, Cas recognized the area again and if he was not mistaken, the Ritz Carlton was only two blocks further.

Of course that did not mean he could not take one last lingering glance at the handsome - and wonderful - man in front of him.

When Dean looked up, he was once again met by shining green eyes that held a hint of mirth and giddiness.

“Alright, all done. Mission completed.”

“Awesome,” Cas said, mirroring Dean’s huge grin.

“I would say let’s go and celebrate it with a good burger and beer - but I guess I’ve already kept you too long from your Ivory Tower. Am I right?”

“I’m afraid so, yes. I’m half afraid Rowena has already sent the National Guard in search of me. My phone died at some point and I didn’t notice.”

“Yikes,” Dean replied, putting his bag back over his shoulder. “Alright, we’re already close though. What do you say, front entry or rather the side? Will there be a lot of paparazzi and fans waiting?”

“The hotel staff is usually pretty good with keeping those away. But yeah, maybe it would be safer to take a side entrance.”

“Alright, let’s go then.”

It did not take them long after that to reach a back alley from where the hotel could already be seen. When they stopped again, it was clear that this was the point where Dean would leave him to walk the rest of the way alone.

However, Cas found himself not wanting to leave, not really. Instead, he turned back to Dean.

“So,” Dean spoke up, dropping his now empty bag and leaning against one of the walls. “Here we are. The prince is safely delivered back to his castle.”

Cas chuckled.

“Thank you, Dean. For bringing me back. And for the whole day, really.”

“It’s fine, really. I had a lot of fun.” 

His grin told Cas that he really meant it - it warmed his heart and the smile came naturally to Cas’ lips.

“So did I,” he replied honestly, not able to look away from those green eyes. “I honestly did not suspect that when I left my room this morning. You’ve turned a boring free day into a little adventure.”

There was a hardly noticeable red tinge on Dean’s neck and he somewhat looked shy - a surprising reaction. Not that Cas knew him that well after only a few hours, but still...

Finally, Dean looked back up.

“Any time, really.”

He seemed to think about something for a moment, then reached for his bag. Searching in one of the pockets, he stood back up and took a step in his direction, and out of nowhere, Cas found his own hand in Dean’s strong grip.

The notion of pulling it free didn’t cross his mind for even a second.

“Uhm, I know this might be a bit forward,” Dean explained, head lowered, eyes fixed on his hand as he turned Cas’ palm up and began writing something on it. “But…”

He did not finish the sentence until he was done, eyes back on Cas’ face.

“This is my number. Just in case… you know. Just in case you need to flee your Ivory Tower again.”

Cas looked down at his palm, finding the ten digits and Dean’s name, written in almost the same neat writing that he had seen in the books they had left all over town. He was unable to help the smile when he looked back to Dean.

“Thank you. I won’t have that much free time over the next few days-”

“Hey man, no pressure, I get it. It was just-”

“But I would be happy to spend some time with you again,” Cas made sure to finish his sentence before Dean thought he was trying to let him down gently.

Because despite the fact they had met only a few hours prior, Cas was sure he wanted to see this intriguing man again.

That wide smile and those bright eyes were only one of many reasons why that was the case.

“Alright then,” Dean replied, his voice still holding a shy note. “Well… text me any time.”

“I will,” Cas promised. “And thank you again.”

With one last shared smile and a wave goodbye, Cas finally turned and rushed back to the hotel, ready to face the music and whatever lecture Rowena would be holding for him. He was sure he would get through it - if only he kept in mind that he would be able to see Dean again very soon.

~*~*~*~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title from Michael Bublé, "Haven't Met You Yet"


	2. Take Me Out

Dean was in the middle of tending to a customer when he received a new message, the vibration against his thigh momentarily distracting him. He ignored it though, in favor of concentrating on his customer. 

It was another ten minutes or so until he was finally able to pull out his phone, only to see the message came from an unknown number and not from his brother or the family chat group like he had half-expected.

Dean was unable to keep his instant smile in check or do anything about the surge of happiness from such a simple message. It had been three days since his unexpected adventure with Castiel James and after not hearing anything at all from the Hollywood star, Dean had already resigned himself to filing it away in the ‘dream come true’ and ‘once in a lifetime’ category.

Maybe it would stay there after all, message or not. But now, he at least had a chance to maybe stay in contact with this wonderful man.

Quickly saving the number - and _sonofa **bitch**_ , he now had Castiel James’ number!!! - he took a moment to think of what to reply.

It had astounded him that Cas had been so open and honest with him that day, no qualms at all with telling him some about the movie he was shooting here in the city.

‘ _Angel with a Shotgun_ ’ - pretty good title, Dean had to admit. And Cas playing an avenging angel? God, that sounded so cool, he honestly couldn’t wait to see that movie. 

Dean was about to put his phone away, when it vibrated again.

The emoji made Dean chuckle. After having spent that time with Cas he felt he knew him well enough that he could picture the real-life expression on his face. He was about to type out a reply, when another message from Cas arrived.

With wide eyes, Dean typed out his reply, biting his lower lip in anticipation of what exactly Cas was asking.

The little skip of his heart was undeniable and unbidden. Dean’s hand rubbed over his left pec and the little shadowy tattoo he knew rested there.

Looking around, he quickly made sure the shop was not overflown by people, before calling out to his employee.

“Yo, Garth? Think you can manage the last hour on your own?”

Garth’s head appeared from around a corner.

“Sure thing, boss. Want me to lock up as well or will you be back in time?”

“That would be great. Thanks, man.”

“No problemo.”

With another nod towards Garth, Dean rushed to the back of the shop and through the backdoor, which led into the hallway of the building. Heading for the staircase and taking two stairs at a time, he rushed to his loft over the store. Once inside, he shot a quick message to Cas before throwing his phone down and barely kept himself from ripping his shirt off in his haste to get into the shower. 

~*~*~*~

Cas was looking forward to meeting Dean again. If it had been up to him, he would have texted him right away, asking to meet up the very next day. But his busy schedule - and more importantly Rowena’s strict rule - had not allowed it. Which was why he was even more excited for this evening.

Dean had not said anything about a dress code, so Cas went with something casual, which - and he hated to have to think like this - would also look good in possible pictures taken of him. Hoping that would not be the case, he added a beanie to his jeans and button-down combo. Thankfully, it was just this side of warm, so a beanie in April would not look too out of place. And it covered his thick and very noticeable mop of hair. Perfect. 

Checking himself over in the floor-length mirror, he decided he looked good enough for an evening out. The cute bookshop owner had not appeared like a fancy five-star restaurant type of guy, which meant Cas was relatively sure that was not where they would be dining.

Forty minutes after receiving the text, Cas left the hotel - again through a side door - and hastened over to the alley where Dean had left him the other day. As he drew closer, he could already see a figure leaning against the wall, hands in his pockets and one leg raised ready to push off the wall at any moment. Dean looked up as he heard Cas approaching and instantly, a smile spread over his lips.

“Hey there, Cas.”

“Hello, Dean. Thanks for doing this.”

“Hey, no worries. My pleasure.”

The best thing about this statement was not that it sounded like Dean meant it. No. The best part was that it sounded like he meant it in terms of spending time with _Cas, the person_ , not Castiel, the movie star.

Sure, it wasn’t as if one could tell that from five simple words. But Cas nonetheless felt this was the case.

“Ready for an evening in the real San Fran?”

“Absolutely,” Cas said, returning the smile as he followed Dean into the unknown.

~*~

“Oh my God,” Cas moaned, not even trying to contain the noise escaping his mouth. “This is… _wow!_ This is the best burger I ever had.”

“Yeah?” Dean questioned, grin wide on his lips. It gave him somewhat of a boyish expression that Cas found rather intriguing.

He nodded and took another bite before replying.

“Definitely. My God, Dean. I think I’m in love with this burger. It makes me very happy.”

To that, Dean outright chuckled before taking a bite of his own burger.

“Told you, you’d like it.”

“I’m glad you decided to bring me here and not some fancy restaurant. I admit I’m not someone for fancy food. I mean, it can be good, but sometimes - well, sometimes it needs to be good ol’ fries and burger.”

“I’ll drink to that,” Dean told him and lifted the bottle of beer, holding it in a clear invitation.

Carefully navigating his burger into one hand, Cas picked up his own bottle and clinked it against Dean’s before taking a sip himself. After setting it down, he reached into his paper plate full of delicious fries.

While he munched on a few, he once again let his eyes wander around the square. He had no real expectations when he asked Dean to take him somewhere for dinner - and yet, what he saw amazed him.

About eight different food trucks formed a circle along the edge of the small square. Simple sitting areas had been put up all around the area, some in the middle, some to the side of the event. There was a band playing in one corner and the whole square was illuminated by lanterns and fairy lights and even real torches that some parents needed to keep their kids away from. It was a genuinely breathtaking atmosphere.

Dean had chosen a table a bit further to the side. In an area not as illuminated as the rest, giving the two of them a semblance of privacy. So far, no one seemed to have recognized Cas - or at least, no one who had bothered to come over and ask for a picture.

Grateful for that, Cas took another big bite from his pulled chicken burger, moaning again as the delicious mix of spices and flavors danced across his tongue. 

“Want me to give you two some more privacy?” Dean asked with a laugh, “You sound like you need to get a room.”

Cas joined in his mirth.

“Nah, I’m good. I feel like this romance won’t last long. He simply tastes too good.”

As if to prove his point, Cas took another big bite. He could feel the sauce on his chin even as he heard Dean’s laugh. Dean shook his head and handed Cas one of the napkins.

“If you love burgers that much, I feel like I need to invite you over to my place at some point. Make you one of my homemade ones.”

“I don’t know, Dean,” Cas replied, quick to continue with his joke when he saw a hint of disappointment flick over Dean’s face. “What if it feels like cheating on this burger here?”

Thankfully, Dean’s grin was back full force.

“Nah, Cas. I don’t think you’re the type.”

Although they were talking about food, Cas sent a warm smile across the table at the deeper meaning behind Dean’s words.

They ate in silence for a few minutes, simply people watching, before they started a lighter conversation. Once their burgers and CrispyChips were gone, Dean got up and got a second helping of those tasty fries to share.

“Tell me something,” Dean asked of him while they both reached for another chip. “About yourself. Something no one knows about you yet.”

“Given that my whole life is spread all over the tabloids and the internet, there isn’t much I could tell you.”

“I don’t believe that,” he said with a wink. “You’re a man of many mysteries.”

Snorting, Cas took a sip of his beer to buy himself some time to think. Deciding on something, he put the bottle down and looked at Dean.

“Okay, fine. But if I ever find these details on the internet, I know who to blame.”

Dean made a zipping motion over his lips, locked them, and then threw the imaginary key away. Shaking his head with a grin, Cas leaned closer.

“Fine. I never actually wanted to be a movie star. I got my first role by accident.”

“Come on, Cas, that’s common knowledge for any fan. Though I really don’t get how one can get a role in Hollywood by accident.”

“It was one of those ‘right time, right place’ kinda things. I mean, I needed money while at college and being an extra at a movie set pays good money and -”

“Yeah, I know _how_ it happened,” Dean interrupted, moving his hand as if to wave away the words. “I just don’t know how this can _happen_.”

“I mean, it _was_ rather surreal,” Cas nodded along to his words, pretending to fight Dean for a specially good looking fry. Dean let him win and Cas happily munched on it before continuing. “But alright. You know I never wanted to be a movie star. Do you know what I went to college for?”

“I think something in finance?”

“Correct - you’re going to win this little pop quiz about Castiel James.”

Dean mock-glared at him. “Very funny, Cas. So I know what the papers and magazines write about you, so what? Lots of people do. I’m not weird for reading that.”

“No, you’re not,” Cas agreed, looking closely at Dean while the man scooped up the last of their chips. There was something about him that instantly put him at ease. Dean was not like any of the other people. He was… _good_.

Yeah, he definitely was one of the good ones. 

Cas trusted him.

“My real goal back then was to become a tax accountant.”

Dean’s hand stopped halfway to his mouth, chip in hand.

“You’re kidding! Holy shit, _why_?”

“Hey, it’s a good and stable job.”

“Yeah but… I didn’t know people _choose_ to become that. I always thought… I don’t know… that it’s something that happens somehow.”

“You mean like I just _happened_ to become a movie star?”

Instead of replying to that, Dean put the fry in his mouth and chewed exaggeratedly, never taking his eyes from Cas - clearly showing him that he was not amused about that statement.

It was actually adorable and caused Cas to snort softly in amusement.

“Alright, fine,” he gave in. “My Uncle Jimmy is a tax accountant and I have always admired him.”

That seemed to gain Dean’s understanding, as he nodded while pulling his beer bottle closer again.

“Guess that explains some of it. What about your father? This might sound stupid but…”

“But you have never read anything about him?” Cas finished that thought with a knowing grin. “Yeah, I somehow managed to keep my family out of all of this. To make sure they can live their normal lives.”

“Hey, it’s okay if you don’t wanna tell me,” Dean told him, sincerity in his voice.

However, right away, Cas knew that he actually _wanted_ to tell him.

“No, it’s fine. I mean, as long as I don’t give you any names, what’s the worst you could do, right?”

“Geez, thanks for the deep-rooted trust, Cas. I’ll drink to that.”

The sarcasm in Dean’s voice was loaded with mirth, letting Cas know he had not offended the man. He smiled wryly and waited for Dean to finish off his drink. About to continue his tale, he noticed a young girl - maybe six, seven years old - carefully making her way over to him, her mother two steps behind her, encouraging her to go on. She held what looked like a pink friendship book to her chin, as if she wanted to hide behind it.

It was a no brainer what the little one wanted. Right away, Cas turned towards her and sent her a smile.

“Hey, there, little sunshine. Can I do something for you?”

She only nodded, eyes wide and shining bright, her gaze never leaving his face. Cas could hear Dean chuckle softly, the mother joining in.

“Sweetie, you need to tell him what you want.”

Instead of doing so, the girl leaned back, burying her face in her mother’s knee without her eyes ever straying from him.

“I see that you have a nice friendship book there. Would you like me to sign it?”

The girl nodded enthusiastically and Cas reached for her.

“Want to come here and show me?”

Without hesitation, the girl went over and put the book in his outstretched hand, leaning against his knee to look at the book alongside him.

“Okay, let me see,” Cas told her, taking the golden glitter pen that was latched on to the book before opening it. “ _This book belongs to May Sunder_. Are you May?” When the girl nodded, Cas smiled at her. “It’s a beautiful name.”

With practiced ease, he wrote a little note for the girl, then signed and closed the book, handing it back to her. 

“Thank you so much,” the mother told him, obviously thrilled by her daughter’s happiness. Her phone was already in her hand. “Would it be okay to take a picture as well?”

“Of course,” Cas replied, lifting May up on his knee so they could get a better shot.

However, before the mother could do anything, Cas saw Dean get up.

“Here, gimme that and I’ll take a picture of you three together,” he offered with an easy smile.

The pictures were taken rather quickly and the mother promised not to post any of them online until tomorrow, so he would not be bothered. Thanking her, he waved after them as they went their way, a warm feeling in his chest as he heard the girl start talking, happiness bubbling out of her.

“She was pretty cute,” Dean commented, a smile playing on his lips. 

Suddenly, out of nowhere, his carefree mood seemed to disappear, his eyes wandering around.

“Uhm, Cas? I think that little stunt has drawn some attention.”

Following his gaze around the square, he could see what Dean was talking about. It was not that bad, but here and there people were staring in their direction, talking and pointing.

“You would be correct,” Cas told him, knowing the signs very well by now. Therefore, he gathered his stuff. “Mind if we leave? One little girl is cute and all… a whole lot of them…”

Dean smiled at that.

“Not looking forward to doing that tonight?”

“Not really, no. I’d much rather continue our conversation,” he admitted openly, winking at him when Dean’s head snapped up from where he had gathered his belongings as well.

After a moment, he returned the smile.

“That’s awesome. Cause I still want to know about your family.”

“Then let’s go. I’ll tell you about mine if you tell me about yours.”

As they got up, Cas’ phone pinged with a new message, so Dean quickly went to throw away their trash and return the bottles while Cas checked his phone. He had a new message from Rowena.

Cas groaned as he checked out the screenshot of an Instagram post Rowena had sent along. The post showed a picture that could only be a few minutes old, showing him sitting at the very table he was now moving away from. The caption gave the location and the statement ‘he’s here _right now_ ’ with too many exclamation marks to count.

“Hey, what’s up?” Dean appeared next to him again, looking worried. “You look… well, I don’t know, is that annoyance or did someone piss you off?”

“Both,” Cas replied, pulling Dean towards the street and away from the event as he showed him the text he had gotten from his manager.

Dean quickly skimmed it, then handed the phone back and quickened his pace.

“Who are these ‘bats’?”

“It’s what Rowena likes to call the slightly crazier fans. The ones you saved me from the other day are bats.”

“Care to explain the meaning?”

Cas’ mouth flicked into a smile as he hastened alongside Dean to put some distance between himself and the street food event.

“It’s short for ‘batshit crazy’.”

Dean blinked at him for a single moment - before breaking into a full-body laugh, so loud he drew some stares.

Cas was helpless against joining in though, laughing alongside Dean as they made their way toward a cable car.

~*~*~*~

They ended up not riding the cable car all the way to Cas’ hotel, instead, they got off at another station and walked along the streets of San Francisco.

“It’s rare that I can enjoy my time like this,” Cas said out of the blue, getting back Dean’s attention.

Like last time, he had lost track of the clock, merely enjoying the moment with this intriguing man next to him.

“I bet it’s not easy - breaking away from your Ivory Tower, I mean.”

“No, it really isn’t,” Cas agreed. “And if it’s not this one, it’s another. In another city, sometimes another country. To be honest, I don’t even remember when I was last at my house in L.A.”

“Do you regret it?”

That question got him Cas’ attention, those piercing blue eyes glued to him.

Dean felt the need to clarify. “Not becoming a tax accountant after all.”

He was glad to see that Cas’ lips twitched up in a semblance of a smile.

“It certainly would have been a lot quieter, that’s for sure.”

“Oh, definitely. Is that why you don’t give much away about your family? So their life stays quiet?”

Cas nodded.

“Yeah. I also don’t have any real contact with them anymore, aside from my uncle and my cousin.”

“Why not?”

Cas shrugged - the movement letting their shoulders brush against each other.

“My father was the rather absent kind, hence why his younger brother is more like a father to me than he was. My mother is a bit of a religious fanatic - which means nothing I do could ever get her approval since Hollywood is ‘place of sin’ as she likes to say.”

Cas used air quotes around his mother’s words and Dean thought the action was rather adorable. But despite his sarcastic tone, Dean could hear some sadness in Cas’ voice and his heart twinged at the hidden pain. 

“My two older brothers are big sharks in some business I don’t even know the name of. Given the fact that so far, their relationship to me isn’t known, I can only assume that they talk or think about me as often as I do about them.”

This time, his sarcastic tone left no doubt about how often _that_ happened.

“I’m sorry to hear that,” Dean finally told him. “I have a younger brother and while we don’t always see each other, I can’t imagine not talking to him nearly every day. Or not seeing him for more than a couple of weeks.”

“Must be nice to have such a good relationship with your family,” Cas replied, with more warmth in his voice than any bitterness about the topic.

Dean nodded. “Yeah, it is. Not gonna lie.”

They walked in silence for a few steps, Dean mulling over what Cas had told him.

“You know, one would think that siblings would use the connection to a movie star such as you are - if only to gain some publicity.”

“Not Michael and Luke,” Cas replied. “They feel way too important to consider such a thing necessary.”

At that, Dean snorted.

“Tell me more about your uncle then,” he said, steering the topic back to a pleasant area.

Instantly, Cas’ happy face was back.

“Uncle Jimmy is back in Pontiac. With his second wife, Amelia, and my cousin, Claire.”

“Wait a second,” Dean interrupted, even going so far as to stop their walk. “Uncle _Jimmy_? And you said he’s your _father’s_ brother. So… You mean his name is… Jimmy James?”

Cas chuckled, shaking his head. 

“No, it’s not.”

“But you said -”

“Yeah, I know. Well, what can I say? _James_ is not my real surname.”

Dean was pretty sure his chin hit the ground.

“Wait, _what_?”

“Honestly, Dean, I swear. If you ever tell anyone-”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” Dean replied, rather impatient now. How the _hell_ had no one ever figured that out? “I’ll take it to my grave. Now tell me how you pulled _that_ off?”

“What do you mean? A lot of people go by an alias.”

“Yeah, but usually, their real name is known nevertheless. You know, that little side note on Wikipedia, where it says ‘born as’. There is no such note with your name.”

When Cas softly pulled on his arm, he got the hint and they continued along the sidewalk. 

“I guess I have to thank Rowena for that. She has been my manager from the start and when I told her that I went by an alias, she promised to keep the cover. I’m telling you, that woman would be the Queen of Hell in another life. She’s simply _that good_ when it comes to handling everything to do with this business. Including me and my tardiness.”

“Okay but… what _is_ your real name?”

Cas’ fond smile he had worn as he spoke about Rowena, turned into a mischievous one.

“Oh no, Winchester. That's information for another day. I can’t tell you all my secrets right away. You will get bored and then how will I spend my free hours here?”

Dean rolled his eyes and muttered, “dork,” but did not push the topic further.

~*~

Before long, their aimless stroll around the city had brought them close to Dean’s place. When he pointed it out, Cas stopped to read the sign above the bookshop.

“ _The Bunker_? Not to sound mean or anything but that’s a rather odd name for a bookshop.”

“Care for a history lesson?” Dean asked as he unlocked the front door and held it open for Cas to walk in first. Closing and locking up, Dean switched on the lights before hurrying to the alarm system and punching in the code before it could send a silent alarm to the police.

Instead of following him, Cas strolled along the shelves to read some of the book titles.

“Always,” he told him, already picking up a book to leaf through.

“Did you see the symbol that went with the name?”

“That weird thing that was trying to be a pentagram but had one point too many for it?”

Huffing out a laugh, Dean picked up one of his business cards to show Cas the sign again.

“It’s called an Aquarian Star. An organization called _Men of Letters_ used it as their representation.”

“What kind of organization?” Cas questioned right away, obviously intrigued.

Dean shrugged. “They called themselves many things, such as preceptors, observers, beholders, or sometimes chroniclers. Basically, their goal was to archive and preserve the written word. They collected not only the classics of world literature but also rare books and precious early editions. They restored them and kept them safe.”

“Wow. That’s _amazing_. How do you know all this? And what does it have to do with the word ‘bunker’?”

To Dean’s great delight, Cas sounded sincere - even astonished about what Dean had to tell him. This was a rare occasion for Dean, honestly. Usually, whenever he began his tale, the other person would soon signal in some ways that it was getting boring. However, keeping the shop’s and his family’s history short was nearly impossible - and for once, it seemed that Dean did not need to.

Encouraged by Cas’ rapt attention, Dean went on. 

“The bunker used to be the place where they would keep the most valuable of these books. I’m not even sure if that place really existed or if it’s just a myth. But if someone ever finds it, legend says they will find letters, records, and books so valuable it would rival any pirate’s treasure.”

Putting the book he still had in hand back down, Cas leaned against one of the tables, thus turning fully towards Dean. It was astonishing how invested he seemed in this. So astonishing, in fact, that Dean’s heart was fluttering for a new reason.

“Have you ever been hunting for it?”

“Oh, heaps of times,” Dean replied, smiling at the memories. “Whenever Grandpa Henry was able to leave the shop in the capable hands of his employees, he and my dad would pack the car, take Sammy and me, and we would drive around the country, searching for it. Or, well… pretend to. Nevertheless, it was a real adventure every time. One of the greatest memories Sam and I have of our family together.”

“You sound like you miss it,” Cas commented after a few silent moments. 

Still deep in thought, Dean nodded.

“Every year around the day my Grandpa died, Sammy and I will take the same car - which now belongs to me - and just go on a road trip to nowhere. Always somewhere we have never been before. Always pretending that this time, we might find it,” Dean explained, unable to hide his smile. “I mean, we obviously know we never will - but it’s fun to remember and honor Grandpa in such a way, you know?”

“I think I have never heard of a more adventurous way to honor a loved one. I love it, actually.”

Dean couldn't agree more to that.

Sure that this was as much as Cas wanted to hear - at least, it was usually the point where other people steered a conversation to the next topic - Dean was about to ask a question when Cas surprised him once more.

“What about your dad?” he continued to ask. “You said the other day that he worked here as well but your grandpa left the shop to you?”

Nodding, Dean looked around.

“Well, you know… they both knew early on that this is my passion. I love books, I need them like I need air to breathe. I always carry at least one in my pocket. Two in winter sometimes, when I have my jacket as well.”

He joined in when Cas’ laughed quietly at his joke, his heart jumping a little beat at the sound. Emboldened by that, he held out his arm, wrist upside so Cas could easily see.

“I mean, even my birthmark shows my love for books. It’s in my blood.”

When Cas pushed away from the table and drew closer, Dean’s breath caught in his throat. Though it was a most intimate thing to do, Cas reached for Dean’s wrist, eyes never straying from the stack of books and the colorful swirl of mist there.

Dean had to swallow hard when Cas actually went so far as to trace one outline of the mark, his heart beating so loud he was sure Cas would hear it. Instead, he let go of Dean’s wrist and smiled up at him.

“It’s beautiful.”

“Thank you,” Dean breathed out, suddenly feeling too hot inside the shop. Clearing his throat, he had an idea. “Hey, how about we continue upstairs? The rooftop is pretty awesome and I have some drinks there.”

“Are you allowed to go up there?” Cas questioned, sounding intrigued as he followed Dean, who made his way to the backdoor.

“Sure,” he replied with a wink, holding open the door before activating the alarm system again and switching off the lights after Cas had crossed over into the hallway. “This is my house, after all.”

“What? The whole thing?”

“Yep,” Dean replied proudly, leading the way to the stairs. “All part of the inheritance. Did I forget to mention that my grandpa actually _was_ a Man of Letters?”

“No! You left that out! Tell me more.”

Chuckling, Dean did as was demanded of him.

“Okay so. The bunker might be a myth. But the organization indeed existed. And one of their meeting locations was here in San Francisco. In this very building. When the organization began to fail due to different circumstances, he didn’t hesitate and bought the building.”

“Just like that?”

“Yeah, my grandpa came from money - old money - going back all the way to Europe.”

“If you tell me now that there’s actually royal blood in your veins, I’m gonna start suspecting you’re making this up.”

Dean laughed, but shook his head, leading Cas along the top floor and towards the separate set of stairs that led to the roof.

“No, that would be a bit too over the top, don’t you think?” he replied, grinning at Cas. “No, we aren’t related to royalty, just some rich landowner from way back when. So Grandpa Henry bought the house, made sure some of the rooms were rented out to other organization members, opened the bookstore, and also moved into one of the upper rooms - together with his wife and son.”

“How old was your dad back then?”

“About ten, maybe eleven. He was still a kid.”

“So the organization is really gone?”

“Sadly, yes. In his later years, Grandpa often liked to think that Sam and I would carry on the legacy. I guess in some ways we do.”

“You mean, with the bookcrossing?”

“Exactly,” Dean confirmed as they finally got to the top floor and the door that led to the rooftop. Unlocking it, Dean continued. “I mean, in this modern world, we need to find new ways to protect and preserve books anyway, right? We need to get people to read again. So yeah, I guess that’s how I carry on his legacy. Sam does as well, he’s a professor at Stanford and his suggested reading material list is one of the longest amongst the staff.”

“Oh wow,” Cas replied - only to stop short as he fully stepped out onto the rooftop. His eyes went wide and his mouth fell open. Dean felt a bit proud of the reaction. “I guess I’ll have to repeat myself,” Cas finally said, eyes still wandering around. “But… _wow_. Dean, this is… wow, this is a little paradise.”

“Yeah, I like to think of it like that as well.”

He watched as Cas stepped further into the garden. It had taken Dean years and a lot of hard work but he was proud of the result, the hard work finally paying off. The garden was not that big, what with it being restricted to the size of his roof, but it held some beds of flowers and a patch where Dean kept herbs and tomatoes. This year, he had wanted to try his hand at strawberries but he had not had the time yet to prepare the patch for that, sadly.

Close to the door sat a small shed against the wall. It held all his tools as well as a mini-fridge. One corner - partially protected by the tall wall of the next building - was dominated by a massive stone grill and a sitting area, enough to house a small group of friends and family. Dean pointed in that direction while he went to the fridge to get them both another drink.

Handing the bottle to Cas, he sat down on one of the sun loungers next to him, sighing.

“So, where were we?”

“A lot of places, I guess. You were in the middle of telling me that your Grandpa was part of a secret organization and that you carry on his legacy. Before that, you had started to tell me why the shop - and apparently this _house_ \- went into your hands, not your dad’s.”

“Oh yeah, right,” Dean replied, taking a sip. “Like I said, Grandpa and Dad just knew what this shop meant to me. Dad was never much the type for it - he’s more a man of action. He loved the adventurous part about our road trips more than the mystery behind it. So when the time came for my Grandpa to retire, he and Dad decided to skip a generation and let me have my dream.”

“What does your dad do?”

Dean was unable to hide his sad smile.

“He passed away two years ago.”

“I’m so sorry to hear that, Dean.”

Dean shrugged, there was not much to say about it.

“Before that, he traveled the country on his own, taking odd jobs here and there. I mean, it wasn’t ideal but… he was happy, and I guess that’s what’s important, right?” When Cas nodded, Dean continued. “We would talk on the phone almost daily; he always made sure to be around the area for the big holidays and birthdays. And he always met Sam and me when we went on our road trips.”

“He sounds like a great dad.”

“Yeah, he truly was.”

They stayed silent for a while after that, sipping their beers and watching the lights of San Francisco. Enjoying the company of each other.

While they sat there, Dean was unable to keep his gaze from straying to Cas once in a while. There were moments now and then where it seemed surreal to him... a movie star sitting on his rooftop, sipping beer, listening to family stories - really listening. And asking questions. Dean tried hard but he couldn’t remember the last time a friend - or a date! - had done that when Dean talked about such a vital part of himself.

With a start, Dean realized a few things all at once.

First, not once this evening had he thought of Cas as the Hollywood star Castiel James. No, he had been enjoying his evening with his new friend, Cas.

Two, this new friend was more attentive and easier to talk to than most anyone Dean had ever met. Someone where the conversation had not once run out or turned boring - and Dean was sure he was speaking for Cas as well.

And third, even after only two days, Dean knew he could fall in love with Cas if he was not careful with his heart. Fall quickly, deeply, irrevocably in love.

~*~*~*~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title from Franz Ferdinand, "Take Me Out"
> 
> Big thanks to [xHaruka17x](https://archiveofourown.org/users/xHaruka17x), the wonderful admin of this big bang, a dear friend, and the one who came up with the names for Cas' movie and his batshit crazy fans 😉😂


	3. Heartaches And Pain

Cas looked into the mirror.

“Okay, Marie, this looks… very scary!”

His makeup artist laughed while she cleaned up the station.

“Good, that was the plan, after all.”

“I wanna take a picture and put it on Insta as a teaser. Too bad I can’t.”

“You could take it and put it online once it’s time for promos - but don’t forget to tag me,” she added with a wink.

Cas did not need long to think about that.

“You’re absolutely right.”

Taking out his phone, he put on his best suffering face and took a few selfies, trying different angles until he was happy. He made sure to keep his favorites, saving them for later, and then quickly pulled up his conversation with Dean.

As per usual, it did not take long for Dean to reply.

Chuckling, Cas put his phone on mute and placed it in his pocket. For over a week now, he had texted back and forth with Dean, and their messages - while already quite familiar and comfortable to begin with - had quickly morphed to a level where they would joke and banter with each other almost every time. In between, they would talk about their day or exchange random thoughts, talk about funny things that had happened that day or tell the other random trivia.

To say that Cas had become addicted to this easy friendship with Dean would truly be an understatement. One of his co-stars had even pointed out that his mood had visibly changed these past few days. 

Cas wouldn’t go _that_ far… but yeah, Dean was without question the highlight of his stay in San Francisco.

They had met in person twice more since that first evening at the street food festival.

First, Dean had taken him to one of the overlooks of the Golden Gate Bridge. One of the lesser-known spots for tourists, thank God. They spend some time there, taking silly pictures and enjoying the warm spring day. 

Pictures of them were online barely thirty minutes after they had left.

The next time, Cas had accompanied Dean on another bookcrossing mission around the quieter parts of town. Halfway through, Dean had suddenly stopped and then dragged him on a mini-golf course. It was hardly occupied so they seized the moment, laughing and joking around while battling each other for the win (which Cas claimed for himself, if only by two shots). 

Even with only a handful of people there, pictures of their adventure had appeared online soon enough.

So far, Rowena had not said a thing, only sent him screenshots of some of the posted stuff so Cas was informed. Otherwise, she did not mind or Cas would have already had an earful from his manager about it.

As it seemed, neither did Dean, who was shrugging it off.

“You can hardly see my face. I wear sunglasses most of the time. Don’t worry about it,” he had told him on the phone when Cas had called to check if he was okay. This was only the third time people would see them together in pictures - but the past had shown that even _one_ was sometimes enough for his bats to go crazy.

As much as he tried not to, he was beginning to worry that maybe his friendship could be harmful to Dean.

Which made it somewhat more shocking that neither of them seemed to want to stop it. Still, they had decided that when they met tonight, they would have a quiet evening on Dean’s rooftop to make sure no more pictures of them would appear for a while.

For now, Cas could do nothing more but to push all thoughts of Dean aside. It was time for him to put on his acting face. There weren’t many days of filming left and they wanted to wrap this movie on time. Shaking of any feelings, thoughts, and those few pesky worries, Cas left his trailer for the set.

~*~

Cas huffed out a laugh when he switched his phone back on that evening. He was on his way back to the hotel but ignored the driver’s reaction to his silly little outburst as he finally replied to Dean.

Cas smiled at the little insert sidenote. He had not yet told Dean his real name and to Dean’s great testimony, he had not asked about it once. He only gave little hints about it here and there. Just enough to tease Cas and to remind him that he still wanted to know.

Cas really wanted to tell him. For a reason he could not name, he wanted to share all his secrets with this special man. Dean had something about him that did that to Cas. Something that made him want to open up; something that simultaneously made him vulnerable and strong in a way he had not experienced before.

Before he could reply, his phone pinged again.

A warm feeling spread inside of Cas, starting in his stomach. _For when we’re alone_. Somehow, those four words sounded more appealing than Dean had probably intended them to sound…

They texted back and forth the whole way back to the hotel and while Cas made his way up to the penthouse of the Ritz Carlton. 

“What has you all smiley?”

Cas looked up from his phone, trying to rein in his expression. The sweet smile on his manager’s red lips, however, told him that he was not fooling her.

“I see you are using one of your burner phones - again. This is not, by any chance, about the lad you met recently and that I keep seeing on pictures with you all over the internet? The one that has people start wondering who he is and why you spend so much time with him? No?”

Rolling his eyes, Cas sent a quick reply to Dean before he tossed the phone on the couch and left for his room. He was very intent on ignoring any inquiring questions. 

“Castiel.”

The thing about Rowena McLeod was… he never stood a chance of avoiding or ignoring her.

“Yes, okay? I’m gonna meet him as soon as I’m done here. Do you have a problem with that?” 

He certainly had not meant for it to sound so harsh… or defensive, for that matter. But that was exactly how the words came out.

Rowena simply gave him one of her head tilts and intense stares - a combination that would make even the strongest man fall to his knees and beg for forgiveness.

“Sorry,” Cas mumbled, as he quickly retreated to his dressing room.

“Well, I don’t know, darling,” Rowena said, calmly following him into the room and sitting down on a chaise lounge like she was the queen of this realm. Cas sometimes wondered if his suites came with a chaise lounge or if it was one of Rowena’s requests when she booked the rooms. “ _Do I_ have a problem with this? Maybe of the media frenzy kind?”

Sighing, Cas opened his closet but stood there for a moment, thinking.

“Dean’s a friend,” he finally replied. “You know me - that’s all there ever is and all there ever will be.”

“Well, sometimes there is also sex - and sometimes I have to clean up the mess that makes.” When Cas sent her a glare she gave him a smug smile before adding. “Only the one you make with the media, of course. What did you think I meant, darling?”

Rolling his eyes, Cas once again chose to ignore the Queen of Hell, rather focusing on finding something to wear for tonight’s date.

Not _date_ date, of course! Just… well, a get-together between friends.

Because that’s all they were!

Friends.

He had no idea how long he had been staring into his closet when Rowena spoke up again.

“You do know I should ask your bodyguard to follow you,” she told him, thankfully dropping the previous topic.

“You mean like all the other times you should not have let me leave alone?” Cas dared to challenge, looking back at her over his shoulder, only to show her how unimpressed with her threat he was.

Rowena raised one of her sharply shaped eyebrows. “We know nothing about this lad.”

“Knowing you, I’m sure that’s a lie. You probably already know his social security number and his grandmother’s maiden name. Not to speak of his blood type and of course his criminal record.”

Rowena did not outright reply to that but she did not deny it either and that spoke volumes - as much as her nonchalant posture. Finally pulling out three shirts that made it onto his shortlist, Cas lay them out on the couch, inspecting them rather than focus on his manager while he continued to speak.

“Since you aren’t outright forbidding it, I take it you found that he’s a decent guy. God forbid, you might even _approve_ of him,” he could not help but say, throwing a smug grin in her direction.

Rowena rolled her eyes. “Don’t mock, darling. But yes, it seems you ran into one of the good ones. Just...”

Cas looked up after all. Rowena was hardly ever lost for words, so for her to search for them was rare.

“What?” he prompted when it was clear she was not about to continue.

Sitting up a tad straighter, Rowena fixed him with her gaze.

“Aren’t you worried he might just be another one of _those_ fans?”

“What makes you say that?”

“Haven’t you seen all the marks on his skin? Sure, they are all mostly washed out a wee bit, but still. There are _so many_!”

Cas swallowed. He would have had to be blind not to see all those birthmarks covering Dean’s arms, some more peeking out from under his shirt around his neck. It was not hard to imagine that there were many more upon his torso. 

So far, they had not yet talked about birthmarks aside from the one time Dean had shown him his own - and Cas couldn’t fathom what had possessed him at that moment to touch it, trace it with his fingers even. Who did that? He himself knew how terrible it was if someone invaded his personal space. So how could he have done it to Dean? And with his birthmark no less.

That incident aside, the topic of birthmarks had not yet come up. For some reason, that made Dean’s company even better. Usually, people could never wait to press the matter. To ask him if he _really_ had no other mark on is skin. How it could happen that he was incapable of loving someone deeply enough for their mark to appear on is body.

Not so Dean.

And he had to admit that it was refreshing.

Even if it meant that he could not ask after Dean’s marks either.

At least he did not bother covering them up, which meant he was not ashamed of them. At least not of the ones visible. As it seemed, Rowena had seen pictures of Dean during her research 

“So?” Cas once again challenged. “Should that be any reason not to be friends with him? It shows that he falls in love easily - not that he has a bad character. We don’t know the stories behind these marks.”

“Oh, darling, I’m not saying he’s a bad guy,” Rowena assured him, her lovely Scottish accent thickening, as it always did when she was worried for him. “I just don’t want you to get hurt again. We don’t want another Cole in your life, now do we?”

He should have anticipated that Rowena was heading in that direction. This was not about Cas’ heart possibly at risk ( _as if it ever was_ , he thought bitterly) but rather his safety.

Yet, if he was sure of one thing, then that Dean was nothing like Cole had ever been. 

Finally deciding on a shirt, Cas moved over to Rowena and gave her a kiss on her cheek.

“Of course we don’t want that. Which is why I don’t protest anymore about you stalking every person that unexpectedly enters my life and which is also why I abide by your rule of using burner phones with new contacts. Now. May I please enjoy this new friendship and feel like a normal boy for a while?”

Rowena looked like she wanted to say something else - but in the end, she patted his cheek with her long and slender fingers and replied.

“You may. Have fun - but be back by midnight so he won’t see you turning into a wee little pumpkin.”

Rolling his eyes, Cas moved on to the bathroom to take a quick shower, ignoring Rowena’s pearly laughter.

~*~*~*~

The sun was setting by the time Dean served their dinner and they had first row seats to the beautiful scenery Mother Nature was displaying.

Despite that, Dean found he was unable to take his eyes off of Cas as his friend took the first bite of his homemade burgers. The reaction was so sinful and better suited for the bedroom that Dean had a hard time behaving like it didn’t phase him. He smiled, pleased with himself.

“I take it you like it?”

“ _Like_? Did my moaning sound like I simply ‘like’ this burger?”

“No, it actually sounded quite pornographic,” Dean replied without hesitation, grin wide on his lips. He loved that despite the short time, they were at a level in their friendship where he could easily say stuff like that without it sounding weird. As if they had known each other for ages rather than mere days.

Cas only nodded before taking another bite. Once again, his eyes rolled back and closed with a sinful hum vibrating in his throat. Dean had to readjust himself, his cock taking far too keen an interest in the noises by now. Yet, Dean could not look away.

“You were right,” Cas said, mouth partially full. “These are even better.”

“Pleased to hear that,” Dean told him, chuckling when a dribble of sauce made it on Cas’ face, just like last time. 

“God, Cas. You’re such a sloppy eater.”

Cas only rolled his eyes and wiped a napkin over his cheek.

“You missed a spot,” Dean told him, pointing it out when Cas missed it on his second try as well. “No, there.”

When Cas missed a third time, Dean groaned and reached over the table, wiping the sauce away with his thumb.

For a second, time seemed to freeze as Dean realized what he had done. Cas’ eyes were wide and fixed on him yet neither spoke a word.

Clearing his throat, Dean leaned back and cleaned his thumb on his own napkin - hoping against hope that his cheeks were not as flaming red as the heat crawling up his neck suggested they were.

In a feeble attempt to push through the awkwardness, Dean went on talking.

“Honestly, man. How do you survive high society life if you eat like that? And why are there no pictures online showing how bad your table manners really are?”

The more he spoke, the easier it was to get the teasing banter tone back. Thankfully, Cas seemed to have decided to ignore the moment as well, answering him without commenting on his action.

“As I told you before, I’m not much for fancy food. You would never find my ravishing caviar like this.”

“Aw, come on Cas. You can’t tell me that the food at those galas and balls and whatnot is bad.”

Cas shook his head, taking a much more demure bite before replying.

“No, of course not. But these burgers, they are… well, they are superb. So I have much more reason to do so. Plus, there are no cameras near, so I can totally be myself,” he added with a wink.

Dean didn’t know what made his heart beat faster, the little wink or Cas’ comment about being himself when he was with Dean. But as always, he ignored it.

“Want me to get out my phone and take some? Show the world the real man?”

“Don’t you dare,” Cas told him with a death glare that would have been far more threatening if he had not been grinning at him a moment later. “Eat your burger or I will.”

“No need to threaten my food, man,” Dean reassured him. “There’s plenty there.”

All in all, Cas ate two of the burgers and two slices of Dean’s homemade cherry pie. .

It was when he began to praise Dean for his fantastic skills with food that Dean knew he was done for. Utterly done for.

Once they were finished, they moved to the sun chairs again. Since the night was a tad cooler than the previous ones, Dean made a detour to the shed and came back with two blankets, handing one to Cas alongside a fresh beer.

“Thank you, Dean. You’re a perfect host, you know that?”

“You only say that so I’ll bake you more pie, admit it,” Dean bantered, making himself comfortable on his chair.

Cas shook his head. “No, not just the pie… the burgers as well.”

Chuckling, Dean took a sip of his beer.

“Sounds like you’re glad you texted me after all.”

“What?” Cas replied, looking genuinely confused.

Dean grinned. “After our first meeting,” he clarified. “You took so long texting me, I had already given up on ever seeing you again.”

And that sounded way sappier than Dean had intended it to sound. _Damnit_. He quickly took a sip from his beer to cover his awkwardness.

The soft chuckle from Cas did not make it better. “What, I thought three days was the customary time of waiting before texting someone.”

The clear reference to those stupid made-up dating rules made Dean roll his eyes as he looked back at him.

“Really?” he questioned, eyebrow lifted, challenging Cas to continue with the bullshit.

Thankfully, he did not. Instead, Cas huffed a laugh, his smile turning a bit more serious after he drank something as well.

“If I could have, I would have texted you that very evening.”

“What kept you?” Dean asked, genuinely intrigued now at those words.

Cas rubbed his neck, hesitating as if thinking about how to word what he wanted to say - or maybe contemplating if he should say anything at all.

“I didn’t bring any burner phones, so I had to have someone buy me one first. Then the next two days were busy with interviews and a weird, tight shooting schedule and before I really knew it, three days had passed.”

At first, Dean nodded - but then he wrinkled his eyebrows. “Burner phone?”

Cas looked somewhat bashful. Maybe even embarrassed.

“Rowena has one simple rule when it comes to me meeting new people: Never, ever, _ever_ hand out your phone number. So we buy different phones whenever I meet new people.”

“Wait, hold up,” Dean replied, sitting up so he could face Cas better. “You’re saying you have a phone solely for me? So I don’t get your real number?”

“Basically. It’s just a precaution.”

“Hey, no need to justify it. I mean I get it in some ways - and we’re able to text and talk, so why would I care what phone you’re doing that with. But… why? How come Rowena has this rule?”

Cas sighed, sitting up as well and turning to sit vis a vis from Dean.

“Have you read about the time I had a stalker?”

“That nutjob you had to get a restraining order against?”

“Yeah,” Cas confirmed. “Cole Trenton. I met him one day in the town I was shooting at that time. We got along pretty well right from the start… I would say ‘just like us’ but I’m a superstitious idiot, so I won’t, cause I rather not jinx what we have.”

That pulled a surprised huff of laughter out of Dean. He tried to remember how long ago it had been that the story of Cas’ stalker had been all over the news. He was unable to pinpoint it exactly, but it must have been about five years ago now.

“Anyway, while we got along pretty well, I soon realized that Cole… well, he didn’t outright say anything, but his intentions were pretty clear when it came to me. He kept it all friendly and I was willing to overlook it - everyone can have a crush, right? It’s not a bad thing.”

Dean was hardly able to breathe, the urge of touching his chest - touching Cas’ birthmark lingering there - was painful, yet he was able to contain his urge. No way would he give himself away in such a manner.

“It started with little things, actually. Cole would constantly ask me where I was, he would call me when he knew I was about to go into interviews or to meetings with co-stars. He would send me random screenshots, asking me who the other person in the picture was. His texts got so obsessive I had to put my phone away now and then - only to have him call in the middle of the night, demanding to know why I ignored him.”

Cas took a moment to breathe, giving Dean time to digest what he had heard so far. This did not sound good. No wonder Cas was careful when meeting new people.

“I had already decided to end my friendship with him when he told me that he was in love with me. He showed me my birthmark on his skin, claiming that it had been there for ages. Apparently, he had fallen for me when he first saw me on TV.”

A cold shiver ran up and down Dean’s spine - the mark on his chest burning hot like fire.

“That’s when I realized: it had all been a ruse. Our ‘accidental’ run-in had not been accidental at all. He had already stalked me before then, making sure to meet me in such a way. When I asked him, he even confirmed it, thinking he had done us both a favor, ‘helping destiny along’ he said. All of a sudden, he was on me, demanding I take off my shirt so he could see where _his_ birthmark was on my skin. Somehow, he had convinced himself that I had fallen in love with him as well and was hiding the mark to not have the media and my fans talk. He promised me that he was okay with me continuing to hide it - as long as I showed it to him so he could see our love.”

“Holy shit,” Dean finally breathed out when Cas took another break from talking. “ _Holy shit_ , that guy was absolutely _crazy_. I mean… I know the story that the press told, but hearing the uncensored story… _sonofabitch_ , this is some real-life fucked up shit.”

Cas nodded and took another sip of his beer. Then he continued.

“Yeah. I’m lucky it all happened in my hotel and the security was right outside the door. They escorted him away and Rowena called the police. They couldn’t do much more but a restraining order. Two days later, anonymous texts began to show up on my phone, all very clearly from Cole. Two days after that, he posted my number online, sharing it with the bats. It was a horror trip, I’m telling you. Rowena got me a new number, taking care of informing the important people in my life who really needed to know. That night, the new rule was born. So whenever I make a new friend, they’ll get a new number, at least for a while.”

“Did you ever have any issues after that again?”

Cas nodded. “Yeah, twice. Both times I was glad to be able to break contact without the whole stress of getting a new number altogether. But most times, once my new friends have passed Rowena’s inspection, they get my real number.”

“And I haven’t passed that inspection yet,” Dean dared to ask, a grin on his lips. He regretted it right away when Cas sent him an apologetic smile. “Cas, I’m teasing. Don’t worry, really. I can totally understand. And as I said: as long as you can reply, where’s the harm in this, right?”

“Thank you, Dean,” Cas replied, his blue eyes lingering on Dean for a moment longer.

Soon enough, they both lay back again, watching the city and the night sky above them, once again enjoying the company they were in.

As they sat in silence, Dean realized more and more how much he not only enjoyed spending his time with Cas. Looking over, he let his gaze wander over the man’s profile… longing to let his fingers wander over the smooth skin; to let them wander into his perfectly tousled hair; to kiss every inch of his beautiful face.

Forcing his gaze back straight ahead, Dean rubbed his hand over his chest. After Cas’ story, he now knew one thing for sure. Never, ever, could he let Cas know what lay under his shirt. By now, maybe he would be able to convince Cas that it had appeared recently. But he would hate to have to lie to him, for one. And two… even that would not explain the intensity the mark had gained.

Because of course, out of all the birthmarks covering Dean’s skin, the one to become the strongest, the most intense one that he had ever seen - had to be the birthmark of the one person he knew would never feel for him the same way.

Still, if Dean was sure about one other thing, it was that he would do everything in his power to keep this friendship to Cas. If that meant hiding his true feelings, then so be it.

Shaking off the dark thoughts, Dean sat back up. He needed to do something to not brood about things he could not change anyway. 

“You know what?” he said, giving Cas a smile when he looked over at him, anticipation in his eyes. “I think it’s time I show you my very own bunker.”

When Cas lifted one single eyebrow, Dean burst out laughing.

“Okay, that sounded dirtier than I thought it would. What I meant was the bunker in the basement of the shop.”

“Still not much better,” Cas told him with a smirk, “but color me intrigued.”

Huffing a laugh, Dean shook his head as he got up.

“Come on, I’ll explain on the way downstairs.”

Despite his rather ominous wording, Cas followed him without any further question - once again proving the trust that already existed between them.

They were already on their way downstairs when Dean finally asked, “Remember what I told you about the Men of Letters?”

“Of course.”

“Well, then you should know what I mean with ‘the bunker’,” Dean told him with a wink, not explaining it any further as he let Cas down the hallways and staircases.

They took the back entrance to the store and after Dean had shut off the alarm system, he led Cas to a door in the back of the store, opened it, and switched on the lights.

“After you,” he said, while he held the door open for Cas. 

“You do know this is rather creepy, right?” Cas told him with a grin, walking past Dean without hesitation and down the narrow steps. “I mean, I just told you about my stalker and you lead me to your basement and - Oh wow!” Cas interrupted himself the moment he was far enough down the steps to see the whole room. Looking back up, Dean could see the amazement in his eyes. “Wow, Dean, this looks pretty impressive.”

Grinning, Dean moved past Cas and took the last few steps. He took a few steps, then turned around and stretched his arms wide.

“Welcome to one of my favorite places in the world!”

~*~*~*~

Cas took the last few steps, letting his gaze wander around the room and taking it all in.

There was a workbench in one corner, some common work tools on it but also stuff that as single items would probably not have made much sense. Together, however, Cas guessed that these were things Dean used to restore older books. He had no idea how it would work, but maybe Dean would show him one day.

There was also what looked like a really comfortable sitting area, fully stacked, and with another mini-fridge.

One corner was filled with cabinets, a simple office table, and a shelf full of files and binders. There was also a computer and it was not hard to guess that this was Dean’s office space.

What really drew his eyes and what impressed Cas the most, however, was the giant glass cubicle that stood against the corner furthest away from the stairs. Inside it were shelves as well, these sparsely filled with what looked like ancient books. For some reason, it looked oddly familiar.

Cas did not need long to remember why that was.

“Well, now I really wonder if I need to worry. Dean Winchester, will I find a body in here?”

Dean’s melodic chuckle told Cas that he got the reference right away.

“No, I made sure to get rid of it in time.”

“I knew something was up with you,” he told him with as stern a gaze as he could muster. “God damn, you _are_ a stalker after all!”

“Scared, Castiel?” Dean replied with an eyebrow wiggle as he stepped backward in the direction of the cubicle.

In all honesty, Cas’ heart skipped a beat. All joking aside, the resemblance to the psychological thriller series “You” was not only remarkable - it was also a tad nerve-wracking. _Especially_ after their previous conversation.

Nevertheless, Cas knew he could trust him. Thus, he followed and stepped inside the cubicle, and Dean closed the door behind them.

“When the show first aired, a lot of my friends called and asked if I was getting royalties from the show for stealing the setting of this room. I mean, it’s not an exact replica, but yeah. It was the only reason I started watching the show.”

“The resemblance is remarkable,” Cas breathed out, already moving over to read some of the titles.

“Yeah, well… it _is_ the best way to preserve and store old books like these. I bet you’ll find something similar in a lot of other basements that have made it their mission to take care of these sorts of tomes.” After a short pause, he added, “Needless to say, I was appalled by what all happened in this sacred place.”

Chuckling, Cas moved to the next shelf, eyes lingering on the covers until he found a title he definitely wanted to take a closer look at.

“May I?” he questioned, pointing towards the shelf.

Dean nodded but handed him some gloves, which Cas took without question. The book he had chosen was Alexandre Dumas’ _‘ The Three Musketeers’_.

“Love that book, actually,” Dean told him, stepping closer as Cas carefully leafed through it. “Not my favorite of his, but I guess a close second.”

“I think I never actually asked you about your favorite books,” Cas said, amazed by this fact. “How stupid of me - should that not have been the first thing to ask you when I found out about your hobby and your job?”

Dean stood so close by now that his little huff of laughter tingled the fine hair on Cas’ neck, giving him a hard time to suppress a shiver. Where did that reaction come from?

“Probably,” Dean replied as he reached behind Cas and pulled out another book. “But asking me what my favorite book is would be like asking a parent which their favorite kid is.”

“Oh, come on, Dean. That’s such a cliche thing to say.”

Chuckling, Dean held out the book he had just picked from the shelf.

“Which is why I will always reply with this one.”

With a careful hand, Cas put “The Three Musketeers” back and took the book Dean held out.

“I’ve never read _‘The Count of Monte Cristo’_.”

Instantly, Dean’s eyes went wide.

“Seriously? But it’s a classic. For me, this book has everything. Adventure, character growth, an intriguing plot, revenge, love. It’s… yeah, it’s truly great.”

At the word ‘love’, Cas huffed, a bitter feeling coming over him. He put the book back down, moving on along the shelves. Instead of reading the spines, though, he was deep in thought. Making a decision, he turned towards Dean.

“Dean, may I ask you a rather personal and probably quite stupid question?”

“Sure,” Dean replied, giving him an encouraging nod. “I think we’ve already passed the point in our friendship where you have to ask permission.”

Cas smiled about Dean’s attempt to lighten up the mood, likely picking up on the sudden change.

Searching for the right words, Cas took a moment to ask his question.

“How does it feel? To be in love?”

Instantly, Dean’s eyes went wide.

“Seriously?”

“Yes,” Cas replied with a nod. “Come on, Dean. Everybody knows I have never been in love. I mean… there _is_ a reason I play action heroes and not the lead in classical rom-coms. I… How would I be able to… to bring these feelings across, when in reality I’ve never even experienced them?”

Dean seemed to contemplate for a moment, before leaning against one of the empty shelves.

“I mean… I bet it feels different for everyone. There are like, a billion different ways to describe love. Or to fall in love.”

“Yeah, but how would _you_ describe it?”

Taking a deep breath, Dean looked at his feet, scrubbing at something on the floor with his shoe. Maybe this question was more intimate than Cas had thought, for Dean seemed rather uncomfortable.

Nevertheless, after a moment Dean spoke again.

“Love is… all-consuming. But in the best way possible. When… when you love someone, you think about him all the time, even when you don’t realize it. The smallest thing will remind you of that person and will make you go, ‘hey, I should tell him about this’. When you’re with the one you love, it’s…” 

Dean sighed, crossing his arms over his chest. He was still looking at the floor and Cas was sure he could see a faint tinge of red on his cheeks.

“When you’re together, it doesn’t matter what you talk about or if you talk at all. You thrive on being with them. You forget the time, you forget what it feels like without him. What it was like _before_. Before you met this special someone. Before they entered your life. 

But love can also grow. It can hit you out of nowhere. Maybe you have been friends with a person forever and your love has always been of the platonic kind - and one morning you wake up and you see another birthmark on your body and you realize, ‘yep, that’s actually true, I love that person’. An old crush might step, ehm, might step back into your life, and… ehm… suddenly, that shadow on your chest intensifies.”

The red on Dean’s face deepened and he took a deep breath before continuing.

“But, well… the opposite occurs as well sometimes, of course. I mean, the fading of our birthmarks don’t mean that the love we felt wasn’t real, right? It… it just means that our heart has let go; that maybe it has finally overcome the heartbreak we’ve been through.”

At that, Dean cleared his throat, looking up but in the opposite direction from Cas. It was not hard to guess that at least in this regard, Dean was speaking out of experience.

“Love is feeble sometimes. Other times though, it will burn forever. When- when you truly love, you would do anything for that person - even if that means to let them go. All you want is for them to be happy, no matter your own heart, no matter your own feelings.”

The silence that followed was deafening and heavy. Cas had the urge to say something - anything. To thank Dean for his honesty; to ask him if he had felt like that every single time he had gained another mark.

In the end, it was Dean himself who broke the silence.

“You’re judging me, aren’t you?”

Cas’ head snapped up at that, confused by the question that might have sounded like an accusation if the words had not been spoken in half a whisper.

“Why would I?”

An unamused laugh broke free from Dean, who had curled into himself further and further, arms wrapped tightly around his midsection as if to protect himself from Cas’ judgment.

“I know what people think about me when they first see me. I’m not an idiot. It’s considered… _‘normal’_ to have a few marks on one’s body. But with the amount that I carry? People-” he interrupted himself, another humorless laugh leaving his lips. “People assume a lot of things about me, only because I gain new marks so easily. Or used to, at least. Most of these are older. It’s… it’s actually been a while since I - since I gained a new mark.”

Somehow, Cas had a tingling feeling that there was something Dean was not telling him. But this was a very intimate territory, so if Dean did not want to tell him everything, then Cas would not ask.

So he asked another question.

“What is it people assume?”

Dean shrugged, still not meeting his gaze.

“That I’m unfaithful. That I have one lover after another. That I’m not one to settle down with because I’ll run off with the next best person.”

Cas’ brows pulled together in honest confusion.

“People really think that?”

His only reply was a short nod and Cas could see how much Dean was trying to keep his emotions in. It did not look like he was about to cry - but he was certainly tightly wound. Like prey, waiting for the predator to give the killing blow.

That’s when Cas realized that he had not yet fully answered Dean’s question.

“I don’t judge you,” he told him, keeping his voice soft. “I admire you.”

At last, Dean’s gaze met his again, his head snapping up and his eyes wide.

“What?”

“I admire you,” Cas repeated with a smile. “For how big your heart is. You fall in love easily and… it’s incredible, actually. And from what you’ve just told me… I think you’re incredibly brave, I don’t think that I could be so courageous. Able to open my heart to people time and time again. I wish I had about half of the passion you possess. It’s admirable. And contagious, to be honest. And truly addictive,” he admitted with a soft laugh. “I can’t remember the last time I had so much fun. Being with you is… well, something I have truly been looking forward to everyday these past few weeks. You, Dean Winchester… you’re in love with life itself and whoever makes you feel small because of that… well, I guess they simply envy you for what you have. The strength you possess.”

Dean stared at him for what felt like countless minutes - but Cas did not care. He gave him all the time he needed to truly take in the words.

Of which Cas meant every single one.

“Thank you,” Dean breathed out at last. “That… wow.” His smile was back, shy as it might be, but it was there. His posture also relaxed as Dean searched for words. “I did not expect that. Thank you, Cas.”

“You’re welcome,” Cas replied, giving Dean time to fully take in his words.

He certainly had enough to think about himself.

~*~

The magazine landed in front of Cas, startling him. It was a common gossip rag, one that came out weekly and always sprew around any new talk in the word of glimmer and glitter, solely based on pictures and so-called insider news. 

What gave Cas pause was his own face staring back at him from the front page.

His - and Dean’s.

“Oh no.”

“Oh yes,” Rowena replied, taking the coffee pot to help herself.

Cas pushed his scrambled eggs aside and picked up the magazine.

“ _Cas in love? Has Hollywood’s most eligible bachelor finally gained a mark on his body?_ ” he read, pulling a face. “Seriously? Do these people even realize how invading that is? What’s going to be next, speculation about my favorite position in bed? If I like to bottom or to top? What the hell, people?”

“I’m pretty sure if I offered them the answers to those questions, they would pay good money.”

Cas sent her a scalding look for that comment but did not comment on it further as Rowena took a sip of her coffee, eyebrows wiggling suggestively.

Seriously, that woman! If he did not love her so much he would have killed her a long time ago.

… which would have been stupid of course, seeing how she was the best to handle situations like these.

“I don’t think I wanna read this,” he told her as he leafed through the magazine, quickly coming to the double-page that showed yet more pictures of him and Dean on their various outings. Most of these were pictures he had already seen online, not much was new there. And to his great relief, none showed him entering or leaving Dean’s house. “Just tell me how bad it is.”

“Not that bad, actually,” Rowena told him, calming him instantly. If she said so, it definitely was true. “It’s mostly speculation about who the man by your side is. Seems they weren’t able to get his identity before the deadline.”

“Yeah, Dean told me the other day not to worry too much. He’s not that active online, at least not as a private person.” It was true, thankfully. Dean’s sole focus when it came to online interaction was his bookshop and Instagram account _book_hunter_67_ \- both accounts he made sure to keep his face or name away from. “He only has Facebook but he reassured me that it has a private setting. He also told me that he had a friend foolproof it to keep it safe.”

“And how good is that friend in doing so?”

Cas shrugged his shoulders. “Dean trusts her - says Charlie used to hack into the NSA server, so handling Facebook was like a walk through the park. Given the fact that I don’t see his name anywhere in this paper, it seems to have worked.”

“Yes, darling, but it doesn’t matter all that much, sadly. Sooner or later, someone will see this article, recognize Dean, smell some possible profit, and tell them everything about him.”

Sighing, Cas ruffled his own hair. Rowena was right, of course. She always was.

“What’s worse is that the article already talks about the numerous marks on his skin. They are wondering who he is and if he’s gonna be a second Cole.”

“I thought you said it wasn’t that bad,” Cas whined.

“Only if Dean _is_ going to be a second Cole. Will he?”

“Of course not,” Cas exclaimed. Maybe it had only been a few weeks but of that he was certain. Cas was reasonably sure that he knew Dean well enough by now to know he wouldn’t do anything to hurt Cas. He was simply too good a person.

There was another issue, however.

“Have you already seen any reactions to it? Are the bats on a rampage or anything? Do we need to protect Dean?”

“Protect Dean?” Rowena questioned, raising one eyebrow in question. “My, you really care for that boy, don’t you?”

“Of course I do,” Cas replied without hesitation. What kind of question was that? “I don’t want to see him get hurt. That isn’t weird, right? Not wanting your friends to get hurt because of you?”

“Right,” his manager echoed, something twinkling in her eyes that Cas was unable to name. “But how about you go and see how he feels about this first?”

“That’s probably a good idea. I’ll stop by his place later.” Cas checked his phone for the time and got up - when he thought of something. “Oh, are you planning on reacting to this article in any way? Should I be available for an exclusive interview?”

“And tell them what? That the two of you are merely friends? Yeah, as if that will keep them from snooping,” she replied with a sarcastic frown. “No, darling. If we react, they will think it has more meaning than you are willing to admit right now.” Cas squinted at that statement in confusion but Rowena went on before he could ask what she meant by her choice of words. “We will do nothing for now, only react when asked directly. And our answer will be…”

She held her hand out towards him in the universal gesture of ‘your turn’ and smiled her predatory smile at him.

“That he is a close friend?” Cas replied after making sure that Rowena was not expecting a certain answer from him.

Right away, she nodded.

“Exactly. That he is a close friend and that you usually spend your free time with the friends you have made in the town you currently work in. So this is nothing out of the ordinary.”

“Right - which is not a lie.”

“Mhhh,” Rowena replied, tilting her head as she gave him a dangerously intense look. “It’s a wee bit of a lie. You normally don’t spend _that_ much time with your _friends_.”

“Yeah well, Dean’s different.”

“Oh, of that I’m certain.”

“Rowena! I just meant I like spending my time with him.”

“I can see that,” she said, holding up the magazine, “and so could the rest of America. Probably Europe too. Maybe even Australia.”

“Are you mocking me right now?”

“A wee bit,” she admitted with a smile that was too sweet to be on Rowena’s lips.

Cas rolled his eyes but otherwise ignored her. Instead, he made his way to the bathroom to take a quick shower before work.

He was not needed for too long on set today, a maximum of four, maybe five hours. They only needed to get a smaller scene finished and then he would be done for the day, the evening shooting used for another sequence in which he was not part of.

If he was done really early, maybe he could even pop into the bookshop later and surprise Dean.

Pulling a simple jeans-and-t-shirt-combo from the closet, Cas made his way to the bathroom. He adjusted the heat of the water, stripped his clothes, and stepped under the spray. The whole time, his thoughts lingered on Dean and the article.

The pictures weren’t compromising or anything - it would be easy for Rowena to sell them as mere good friends spending time together. Which of course _it was_! What else should it be?

Cas tried to ignore the tingling feeling in his stomach. Ever since Dean had explained to him how love supposedly felt, he was unable to stop imagining such strong feelings. Of course he knew what it felt like to love your friends and care for them. But such a true, romantic love like Dean had described? The more Cas thought about it, the more he remembered his New Year’s wish, and the longing he had felt not only that night but for a long time now.

That longing to be with someone. To have someone in his life to share it with. To spend time with and experience what Dean had talked about.

_Someone like Dean._

The thought hit Cas out of nowhere, so strong he had to gasp to suck in air into his lungs.

_What?_

What had he been thinking?

The tingling in his stomach intensified the more Cas thought about Dean. About his smile and the melody of his laugh. His eyes and that rough voice. His big heart and the way he was a perfect gentleman.

Gasping once more, Cas shut off the shower and stepped out of it while he reached for a towel.

Could… could this really be true? Could he…?

With a start, Cas realized that his stomach was not the only part of his body that was doing somersaults at the mere thought of Dean. There was also a sensation on his left hip that he had felt for some days now but had been able to ignore.

Until now.

Heart beating fast, Cas was all of a sudden so very, very sure what he would find.

Pushing away the towel, Cas looked down to his left hip…

A soft shriek escaped his lips and he quickly turned to the mirror. But it was all fogged up, so Cas twisted again to look down at his hip.

No, this could not… was this… but _how?_

Rushing forward, Cas used the towel to brush away all the fog from the mirror, finally turning again so his hip was reflected.

There was absolutely no mistaking it.

Shadowy and pale it might be but there was no mistaking it. A stack of books. A nebula of colors. A birthmark Cas had no trouble recognizing, despite the fact it was just dusting on skin.

On _his_ skin, no less.

How long had it been since Cas last had discovered such a thing? Highschool? College? He had no idea - but his heart was beating wildly. Maybe it had been a long time but he could tell what his brain had been too blind to understand.

He knew what it was - his heart had been trying to tell him for a while now.

Now his skin was too. 

Cas was falling in love.

And if he believed the coloring on his skin - already more intense even in its dusty form than he had ever experienced previously…

If he believed _his heart_ \- beating a fast-paced staccato he had never experienced before…

Cas met his own eyes in the mirror.

If he believed all the physical signs, then he might not only be _falling_ in love.

He quite possibly was already on the way of being _in_ love with Dean Winchester.

~*~*~*~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title from Charles Bradley, "Heartaches and Pain"


	4. Dance The Night Away

_ ~ May 2020 ~ _

Dean had thought long and hard about another adventure he could take Cas to. He knew a lot of things to do in his city, of course - but not all of them were meant to be done with a famous person who attracted people left and right.

In some instances, it was not too bad. Some people would come up to them, ask for an autograph or a picture, thank Cas - and sometimes Dean for taking it - and then leave again. What was bad was those people who simply would not leave again. But thankfully, that had not happened very often so far. 

Yes, there were pictures of them online by now, innocent shots, of course. Two friends roaming San Francisco. And yes, there was that thing with the article the previous week - and quite possibly a follow up this week, as Cas had already warned him - but so far, nothing bad had come from it. 

Despite that, Cas was sorry about the whole thing, even though Dean assured him time and time again that he had no problem with it. Sure, some friends had already contacted him - and _yes_ , some of them had told him about the wild speculations that were thrown around. His name was out there by now and he had been contacted by some media folk asking for details (which he had answered with “we’re friends,” as Cas had asked him to). But since there was nothing more than that yet - no media or paparazzi or fans chasing him down the streets - he had no issues whatsoever. So long as he and Cas got to spend time together, Dean was happy. 

Because sooner or later, it would go away again. At the latest when Cas’ movie was over and he left town - something Dean tried not to think about too much. He wanted to enjoy what time they had together.

Aside from giving Dean hints about how to handle the situation, Cas had assured him that Rowena and his media team monitored the situation. As far as Dean could tell, Cas had not yet given any statement about them himself and rather let Rowena handle it all. It seemed Dean’s “we’re friends” line went along with the official statement Rowena would say whenever she was asked: Cas had friends all over the world and he liked to spend some time with them whenever he had a chance to.

Only in the darkest shadows of his heart could Dean admit to himself how much the statement hurt him, although he knew how true it was. They _were_ nothing more than friends - no matter how much Dean would fantasize about it being different. He was realistic enough to not let it destroy their time together.

And if nothing else, the statement kept the nosy people at least a little bit at bay. 

Which was why they had no issue with currently strolling along the piers, enjoying the evening’s atmosphere and their ice cream from Ghirardelli. They had a real reason to celebrate, after all.

“With the shooting done, how much longer will you stay in San Francisco?” Dean took an extra-large bite from his ice cream, hoping to hide his nerves behind it. He had avoided the topic of Cas’ impending departure as long as possible but knowing that it could happen any day, he decided it was better to prepare himself. No matter how much his heart raced in anticipation of hearing the answer.

Cas seemed unconcerned about it, however. Another fact Dean tried not to get hurt by.

“I’ve spoken with Rowena and she doesn’t mind giving me a few days off. We’ll start some promo shoots in a week anyway and since some of them will happen here we decided to extend our stay.”

“Really?” Dean exclaimed, unable to hide his excitement about it.

Cas gave him a sweet grin before licking at his own ice cream again - an action that forced Dean to look ahead once more in an effort to keep his indecent thoughts at bay. There were times he was sure Cas was flirting with him and other times he was sure the dork was completely oblivious to his effect on the human race. 

Try as he might, he also had the feeling that something had shifted between them since the previous week. Maybe it was the whole media circus… but maybe it was the open heart-to-heart they had had in Dean’s bunker. 

Maybe it would be easier for Dean to better pinpoint _when_ it had changed - if only he could name _what_ exactly had changed. He was truly clueless, all he had was a mere feeling. Cas’ behavior towards him was somehow… well… _different_.

Dean shook his head, ridding himself of his thoughts. He needed to stop analyzing everything Cas did. They were friends, that was it. That was all she wrote. The end. Fin. 

Once they finished their ice creams, Dean steered them back around and towards Taylor Street, where they took one of the cable cars all the way back to Chinatown. Dean had noticed that Cas liked this area and since it was close to his hotel, they liked to stroll the last few blocks - usually with a slight detour through St Mary's Square, a park and urban square right by the hotel.

Today, however, Dean’s destination lay a bit further away, on the other side of the square. All he had told Cas was that it would be fun.

As they got to the square, the sun was already setting, casting the whole park in some kind of peaceful twilight. Despite that, there were a lot of people out and as they went on, they could see what drew the attention of many. A street band had taken residence on one of the pavements, playing jazzy, lively melodies.

“Hey, let’s listen for a moment,” Cas told him, steering Dean closer to the crowd.

It was nothing big, maybe thirty people, but it was still something. As they drew closer, Dean could see some people dancing, two more couples joining them as a new song started.

“This is pretty amazing,” Cas said, and when Dean looked at him he could see a dreamy gaze on his handsome face. 

Did he want to join?

_Probably not,_ Dean thought. It was one thing that there were pictures of the two of them out there, walking around San Francisco, playing mini-golf, visiting museums, and enjoying lunch together.

It would be something else entirely if pictures of Cas _dancing_ with him showed up. And seeing how some people had their phones out to film the band, there was no way Cas would ever do that. The media would be all over them.

Right?

As Dean stood there, debating, all around them people joined in to watch the street concert, while others left to go about their lives. Soon, the darkness around them grew further, and yet, people kept dancing and clapping, laughing, and enjoying the wonderful music. Some had settled close by, getting out drinks and enjoying the pleasant evening.

After a while, Dean was contemplating telling Cas that they should get going so it would not be too late for the adventure he had planned for this evening. Then again, the serene way in which they stood together to listen - Dean honestly thought about maybe forgoing tonight’s event. Knowing now that Cas was staying for at least another week, they could always do it another day.

Deep in thought, it took him a bit to recognize the latest song, but it wasn’t until Cas poked him in the ribs with his elbow that he really paid it any attention.

“Hey, they’re playing our song.”

Dean’s throat went dry and he had to swallow twice before he could speak.

“I didn’t know we had a song,” he replied, hoping his nerves were covered enough by his amusement. The notion that Cas thought they had a song together…

His heart skipped a beat when Cas looked over at him, a mischievous grin on his lips.

“Neither did I.”

Cas’ smile was so breathtaking that it took Dean a moment to look towards the movement he had registered in his hazy brain. It took another moment for him to understand the meaning of Cas’ outstretched hand.

His head snapped back up to Cas who was still grinning and sending a wink his way.

“Fancy a dance?”

There were a lot of things racing through Dean’s mind, honestly. But if there had ever been a siren’s call, this was it, hands down! Instead of worrying or wondering if Cas really meant it, if this was safe, why the hell Cas had declared it _their song_ … Dean returned the smile and took Cas’ hand.

“Alright,” he replied, pulling Cas close in one swift move. “But I lead.”

“Do you, now?” Cas questioned, mirth in his eyes.

Dean’s left hand made sure to hold up their joined hands, while his right hand wandered to Cas’ hip, pulling him closer yet as he maneuvered them into position, starting to slowly sway them.

“Oh, yeah. I always do.”

There was fire in Cas’ eyes and for a moment, Dean did not know if it was lust or a hidden challenge - or maybe both. Yet, Cas didn’t protest as Dean began to lead him into a real dance. They stayed offside from the rest of the group, not joining the other couples dancing. Partially hidden in the darkness.

It made this whole experience all the more intense as Dean twirled Cas to the cover of [Cat Stevens’ “ _Heaven_ ”](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mRWgaGkiy54).

As the song built in power, Dean lost himself in Cas’ blue eyes, in his closeness, his warmth. His soft laughter and that addicting smile. Dean was unable to contain his own bubbling happiness, Cas’ mirth simply intoxicating and contagious.

_The moment you walked inside my door_

_I knew that I need not look no more_

_I've seen many other souls before_

_Ah but Heaven must've programmed you_

_The moment you fell inside my dreams_

_I realized all I had not seen_

_I've seen many other souls before_

_Ah but Heaven must've programmed you_

Dean’s heart was beating fast. He had no idea if Cas knew all the lyrics to this song but despite the heat of the moment, he could not help but be hyper-aware of them himself.

Was Cas trying to tell him something by declaring this their song?

_The moment you said I will_

_I knew that this love was real_

_And that my faith was seen_

_Oh, Heaven must've programmed you_

_The moment I looked into your eyes_

_I knew that they told no lies_

_There would be no goodbyes_

_Ah 'cause Heaven must've programmed you_

As the song came close to the end, Dean stopped their wild twists and turns, pulling Cas closer to him again.

_I go where true love goes_

_I go where true love goes_

_I go where true love goes_

_I go where true love goes_

Unable to let go or to look away from Cas’ gaze, so intently focused on his own face, Dean felt an undeniable pull. For the barest heartbeat, Cas’ gaze flicked to his lips, Dean was so sure of it. Heartbeat quickening, his grip on Cas’ hip tightened. A soft gasp from Cas showing the movement had not gone unnoticed.

They were so damn close, a dip of his head and their lips would be…

Wild applause all around them let the bubble burst. The song had ended at last and the crowd’s cheers were well deserved and appropriate; but Dean was unable to join them as he could not bring himself to let go of Cas. Could not tear himself away from those brilliant blue eyes...

A flash over Cas’ shoulder suddenly drew his attention and Dean became aware of how some people close-by were pointing in their direction, whispering excitedly to each other. They might have been able to go undetected before, but their little dance had gained them the attention they generally tried to avoid.

Before any of these people could make up their mind if this was _really_ Castiel James and if they should walk over and ask for a picture or not, Dean quickly reacted. Readjusting his hold on Cas’ hand, he pulled him along and away from the street concert.

“Time to go,” he whispered, eyes not leaving the potential threat.

Not that Cas’ fans were a threat per se. But one never knew and he rather not bother with some clingy superfans now. Not when his heart was still beating wildly in his chest and his head was still trying to catch up to the motives behind Cas’ actions.

Cas seemed to understand the sudden change in Dean’s behavior, he didn’t look around to draw more attention, he didn’t question Dean. He merely followed along as they quickly made their way out of the crowd.

“Oh my God! It’s _Castiel James_!”

Up until a few weeks ago, Dean had honestly thought that some movies overdid it with the portrayal of the craziness of some fans. Since he had met Cas, that had changed. By now, he was an expert at recognizing some of the different types of fans and how they would approach Cas.

And if he knew one thing for sure, it was that a screech like that meant trouble.

Without hesitation, they broke into a sprint. It didn’t take long for the adrenaline to kick in, and they grinned at each other over the absurd situation they once again found themselves in. Dean spared a brief thought for how they must look, as they made a mad dash along the square. At one point, Cas wanted to pull into the direction of the hotel, but Dean was quick to keep him on track.

“No, no,” he called, reaching out to grip Cas’ elbow and steer him where they needed to go. “Remember, the surprise?”

Cas did not reply but followed Dean in the other direction and away from the hotel nonetheless. Not risking that the fans knew where they were going, Dean took a slight detour. After two streets, he looked behind them, checking to see that they had indeed made it away from the craziness of fans.

Slowing down, Dean and Cas both took a moment to catch their breath.

“Honestly, Cas. By the time you leave me, I’ll have lost so much weight.”

“Guess I should leave quickly then,” Cas replied. His next move was so unsuspected that Dean was unable to react. Cas poked him into his stomach, where it was a bit softer. “It would be a shame, after all, if you lost any of this.”

With an appreciative glance at Dean’s body, followed by a cheeky wink, Cas moved on, walking down the street in the direction they had been heading.

Taking a moment to let his head catch up on what had just happened, he finally huffed a laugh, sprinting after Cas. 

“Or you could feed me pie. It will be a good counter for all the extra cardio.”

“Deal,” Cas replied without hesitation, smiling at Dean again.

Soon enough, Dean made sure Cas stopped. They had reached their destination.

“Laser tagging?”

Cas sounded equal parts amazed and confused, his eyes lingering on the sign above the entrance door that read in neon letters _The Bad Place Laser Tag Arena_.

“Yep,” Dean replied, throwing his arm over Cas’ shoulder - a move he damn well hoped seemed casual enough, because the renewed acceleration of his heartbeat told him it was anything but. At least for him.

“Whaddya say? Wanna try to shoot me?”

After only a moment of hesitation, Cas nodded, following along without resistance as Dean towed him inside, arm still resting over his shoulders.

~*~*~*~

More than anything right now, Cas hoped that Dean was unaware of what his proximity did to him. It was such a new feeling, such a new concept. He had never fallen in love before and while it was irritating in some ways - it was mostly overwhelming. In the best way possible.

He only wondered how long he had felt like this without realizing it.

It was undeniable that being close to Dean had not left him unaffected for a while now. He would catch himself staring at Dean when they were together and daydreaming about him when they were not. He also couldn’t help his heart beating faster whenever Dean would smile at him - a smile that could undoubtedly melt the polar ice caps if only Dean tried long enough.

Not to speak of Cas’ reaction whenever Dean would touch him or pull him close. The way he had gripped him earlier as they had been dancing… Cas was sure he could sense Dean’s hand on his hip as if it was still there, his skin tingling no less now than it had back then.

Or maybe it was the birthmark that sat right there, he couldn’t be sure.

Now Dean had his arm around his shoulder and God damn… was this what people generally described as butterflies in one’s stomach? Cas didn’t know, not for real.

As they moved through the door, Dean’s arm fell from his shoulders - only for his hand to brush down Cas’ spine on its way to rest against the small of his back. Cas’ heart skipped a beat.

As they made their way to the reception, Cas looked around the entrance hall. It seemed pretty normal, actually reminding him of a movie theater, a few monitors showing what he assumed were live pictures from inside the arena. There was a desk where a lone girl sat, playing on her phone. She looked up as they reached the desk.

When she saw Dean, her bored face quickly turned into a smile. A real one, if Cas was not mistaken.

“Hey, old man. Long time no see.”

“Hey, kiddo. Nice to see you as well,” Dean replied, leaning over the desk to hug the attendant.

“Kaia, say hello to Cas. Cas, this is Kaia. She sometimes works at my shop as well.”

“Hello Kaia, nice to meet you,” Cas said, already anticipating the reaction when he saw the girl’s eyes grow wide and her mouth dropped open.

“Oh. My. God!”

“No, that’s Cas. Though I admit he could probably play a greek god in one of his movies.” 

He threw him a wink but Dean’s joking clearly had not yet defused Kaia’s amazement. Seemingly realizing that as well, Dean reached over the desk and flicked his finger against the girl’s arm.

“Ouch,” she protested, glaring daggers in Dean’s direction as she rubbed her arm. “That’s not nice.”

“Neither is staring,” Dean countered. “Come on, be a good girl and do your job. We want to play a round.”

“Can I take a picture?” Kaia blurted out, clapping her hand over her mouth right away. “Sorry,” she mumbled, visibly taking a calming breath. “Sorry, I’m… usually I’m not like that. It’s just… well…”

Chuckling, Cas decided to show mercy on her.

“Don’t worry, I understand. We can take some pictures and I can sign something for you, if you want me to.”

“Awesome,” Kaia exclaimed. “Can I post it as well?”

Dean was about to say something, his stern face revealing that he was about to reprimand her again, but Cas was quicker.

“You may - but only after Dean and I have been gone for at least twenty minutes. Deal?”

“Deal,” Kaia agreed right away.

After a few selfies and Kaia quickly pulling out her backpack for him to sign, she got them everything they needed and a few minutes later, Dean and Cas were in a sideroom, putting on some armor-like gear.

“Have you ever done any laser tagging before?” Dean asked as he made sure his vest sat correctly.

Cas shook his head. “Not laser tagging, no. But I know how to shoot. Had to do it in a few of my movies, so I’ve had a few experts show me how to shoot.”

“That’s good. So you’re not a complete beginner,” he added with a wink before turning somewhat serious again. “And usually, every arena works a bit differently anyway, so it’s okay you’ve never been before. The way this one here works is pretty simple,” he began his explanation as he helped Cas with one of the straps, “We play together against the arena, but we also kinda play against each other.”

“I have to shoot you then?” Cas questioned, trying not to let it get to him how Dean was fiddling with his armor.

“No. I mean, you could, if you were really mean. But no. There is a counter ticking and the one who gets hit the least is the winner in the end.”

“So I _could_ shoot you to push your counter up?”

Dean’s eyes flicked up from where it had been trained on a strap of Cas’ vest. Raising one eyebrow, he stared Cas down.

“You could _try_ , yes. But I would shoot right back. Trust me, you don’t wanna fight dirty with me.”

After one last tug on Cas’ gear to make sure it was all secured, Dean got up, took his gun and moved towards the door that led into the arena.

As Cas got up to follow, he could not help but mumble, “You have _no_ idea just how bad I _do_.”

~*~

It did not take long for Cas to see how right Dean had been. Laser tagging was so much fun and together, the two of them made a pretty good team. For the first time, Cas was thankful for all the training he received for various movies. True, he wasn’t as good as Dean but he didn’t look like a complete fool either.

The best part about all this, however, was Dean. Not only did the man look stunning in his gear, he also seemed to be having the time of his life, shooting one ‘villain’ after another.

Besides being the better shooter, Dean was also better at ducking away from the fire against them. Without needing to count, Cas was sure he was already far behind and by the way he was being teased, Cas was sure that Dean knew as well.

“Hey, Cas. If you continue like this, I might have to carry you out of the battlefield. Don’t die on me.”

“Very funny, Dean,” Cas replied, ducking away from the shot of another player. The fact that not only the arena was trying to kill them, but also the other players, had been a little detail that Cas had learned the hard way, five minutes into playing. A detail Dean assured him had ‘slipped his mind’ while preparing Cas for the course.

Dean’s cheeky grin told Cas otherwise.

It had been the first time he had shot Dean. His ‘partner’ had accepted it as payback at the time - but soon enough, Cas found himself caught in ‘friendly fire’, for which Dean was ‘so sorry’ for.

Cas had only glared at him, not giving Dean the satisfaction of firing back and concentrating on their ‘mission’ instead. But Dean wouldn’t stop.

By the time they reached the last quarter of the arena, Cas was sure Dean had ‘accidentally’ shot him five times already. Problem was, once Cas had broken after all, trying to pay him back, Dean had proven to be too good at this. He would either duck away quick enough or fire right back or at least raise his weapon, showing Cas that he would only get shot as well if he tried.

All this _still_ might not have been bad… but the teasing. Ohhh, this _teasing!_ Cas was not even sure anymore if he wanted to kill him or tackle him to the floor and kiss that stupid grin off of his face. God damn, who gave the man the right to be this fucking sexy during a battle?

They were currently leaning against a wall, the next room right through the opening to Cas’ left. But it was occupied by the group of teenagers they had already battled in room two and Cas did not fancy a repeat. Since the arena could not attack the corner they currently stood in, they had decided to catch their breath. At least there was no group immediately behind them. They could hear some shooting from back where they came but it was at least a room over. So for the moment, they were safe.

Or so Cas thought.

A little buzzing sound told him that he had been hit again. Rolling his eyes, he looked over to Dean.

“Really? _Really?_ What’s your excuse this time? Premature shooting?”

“Oh, believe me, I have no such issues.”

The wink Dean gave him was downright sinful. Especially with a soft sheen of sweat covering his face, his teeth shining unnaturally white in the strange light of the arena.

Once again, Cas’ heart was in his throat - but he refused to acknowledge it while Dean was such a cocky bastard. Ignoring him, Cas glanced around the corner once more. The kids had not yet left, shooting the arena and each other.

Another buzzing sound alerted him to yet _another_ attack, Dean merely standing there as if nothing was wrong.

“Hey, Cas. How about the loser” - another buzzing sound - “has to do as the winner says?” 

Out of the blue, something inside of Cas snapped.

With one swift move, he turned around and had Dean pinned to the wall, left arm against his throat. Dean’s eyes went wide, obviously not expecting such a reaction from him.

Well, good!

All too soon, however, Dean’s cocky grin returned.

“Wow, Cas. Like it rough?”

“You wanna play dirty, Winchester?” Cas breathed out, ignoring Dean’s comment as he pulled the trigger, still pushing closer into Dean, the buzzing sound lost between his words. “Alright, then let’s play.”

He watched him closely, making sure he did not cross a line Dean was unwilling to cross.

There was nothing but heat in those green eyes and in the next moment, Cas leaned in, catching Dean’s lips in a bruising kiss. 

And by _God_ he swore he had never had a kiss quite like this in his _life_. 

All too quick, Cas came to his senses. He broke the kiss and was about to step away - but Dean seemed to have other plans. A hand gripped tight at the front of Cas’ armor, pulling him back in right away, bringing their lips together once again.

Since Dean _definitely_ did not seem to mind, Cas seized the moment, using the kiss as the distraction he had planned it to be.

He managed to shoot Dean twice more - sure that he didn’t notice as he kissed him back with fervor - before the skill of Dean Winchester managed to make Cas forget why he had started this.

It all fell away, Cas’ mind and senses hyper-focused on the warmth and the taste beneath his lips.

The movement of Dean’s mouth, the soft little gasps he made, the gentle urgency - it all made Cas forget even his own name. God, he never wanted this to stop, never wanted to let go of Dean. Gripping tight to his shoulder, he pressed against him as far as their gear allowed him to, his lips never ceasing to devour Dean, who was at _his_ mercy right now.

Or so he thought.

With one sudden move, Dean reversed their positions, pressing Cas against the wall.

It didn’t break any of the heat - quite the contrary. Cas let Dean take the reins for a moment, surrendering briefly, then pushed back, pinning him against the opposite wall - their lips only parting to suck in quick huffs of air, never straying away from one another for long.

A shot nearby finally managed to pull Cas back to the present - and his mission at hand. But while his mind was back online, his body was unwilling to follow his command just yet. Who could blame him when Dean’s mouth was simply divine and so delicious?

Yet, his vindictive side finally won his internal battle and he slowly pulled back. Opening his eyes, he saw that Dean still had his closed. As they slowly opened, he could see how hazy they were. Unfocused, amazed, awed. 

A red flush covered Dean’s neck and face, and his breathing was labored. He looked thoroughly debauched and dear God, he looked like sin personified, weakening Cas’ resolve.

Only temporarily though.

Giving himself a moment to breathe and for Dean to gain some semblance of awareness, Cas finally stepped back fully. Licking his lips briefly, chasing the taste of Dean, he aimed once again at his ‘teammate’. He could see the moment Dean realized what was going on, and his eyes grew wide as Cas gave him a wicked smirk.

Without hesitation, Cas shot him, this time square in the chest, before he walked away, entering the next room.

~*~*~*~

Since his heart was beating - fast, so very, very fast, but beating nonetheless - Dean was reasonably sure he was alive. Otherwise he would have thought he had died and gone to heaven.

Because **_holy fucking SHIT_**!

Had that _really_ just happened? Had Cas really kissed him to an inch of his life? Could one even call that kissing anymore? For a strange moment, Dean had the feeling that Cas was trying to devour him, but that certainly didn’t make it any less hot.

Quite on the contrary.

Holy shit, he had just made out with Cas.

Leaning back against the wall - mostly because he was sure his legs were too weak to carry him - Dean breathed in and held his breath, then breathed out slowly. He needed to get it together. Needed to get his coolness back. Because, let’s face it - that whole stunt had been pretty cool and Dean respected and admired the bastard for it. To distract him like that? Only to be able to shoot him? How many times _had_ he shot him? Dean had absolutely no idea.

“Well played, Castiel James, well played,” Dean mumbled, chuckling.

The only problem for Dean’s heart right now was the question if maybe Cas had really only used the kiss as a diversion.

There was a small part of him that could not help but wonder if maybe - just maybe, mind you! - the kiss had meant more for Cas as well. Of course, Dean wasn’t crazy. This was no fairy tale and he was no teenage girl, dreaming to be ‘the one’.

The one who could win Castiel James’ heart.

The one to make him fall in love at last.

The one to see their birthmark on his skin.

No, Dean was not delusional. This was real life, not a fairytale.

But hey, who knew. Maybe Cas at least _liked_ him in such a way and was not opposed to… something more. 

Pushing the thought aside for now, Dean took another deep breath and as he let it go, he pushed away from the wall, following Cas into the other room.

~*~

Despite Cas’ little scheme, he still lost to Dean by a few hits. But they had beat the arena together and that’s all that really counted. At least, that’s what Dean graciously reminded Cas off while they got rid of their gear. His friend did not seem appeased, sending him a grumpy glare.

“I would have done way better if you had played fair!”

“Aww, but Cas,” Dean replied, reaching over to pad down an unruly strand of Cas’ hair that was sticking up in an odd direction. “Where would be the fun in that.”

If he had not been so focused on Cas’ hair - which looked even more as if he had a wild round in bed, God damnit! - Dean was sure he would have seen the next move coming. As it was, however, Cas was suddenly in his personal space. Out of reflex, Dean took a step back - only to find that he had nowhere to go, his back touching a wall again. Cas did not stop, stepping further into his space, pinning Dean against the wall once more, only this time with his intense stare alone. His eyes were ablaze as his gaze wandered all over Dean’s face, taking in every inch. And sonofabitch, pissed off Cas was hot as fuck.

Unlike last time, this time Cas did not go in for the kiss, not yet. But he was standing so damn close that they were breathing the same air, the pull towards each other almost unbearable for Dean. He wanted to taste those lips again. Wanted to let his hands roam that perfect body. Even if it was only for one night, Dean wanted to give in and take what he wanted, consequences be damned.

His heart be damned.

“Fun, mhh?” Cas finally murmured, his voice dark and rough, the sound going straight to Dean’s cock. “Is that what you want?”

Although his brain was currently out of order, he _knew_ what Cas was talking about. Swallowing, Dean finally admitted that he had no brain cell left to think this offer through on a rational basis. So he did the only thing he could do - he nodded.

One side of Cas’ lips tugged up into a smug smile.

“Good,” he breathed as he leaned in. But the kiss never came, his lips pressing close to Dean’s ear instead, sending a shiver down Dean’s spine. “Let’s get back to my hotel then.” 

Pressing a kiss right under Dean’s ear was probably the meanest move he could make in this moment. Dean needed a second to regain his senses but soon enough, he followed Cas out towards the lobby of the laser tag arena.

~*~

The way back to the hotel was surprisingly calm, given the previous fire between them - which was still there, simmering under their skins, ready to explode from beneath the surface once they allowed it. They did not talk, but ever so often, their hands or shoulders would brush together, sending waves of longing through his veins.

The moment they entered the elevator, all restraints were off. There was no telling who dived into the other’s arms first, but out of the blue, they were kissing again, wild and lustful. Dean could feel Cas’ hands everywhere and a soft moan fell from his lips when he brushed over his chest, unbeknown that his own birthmark lay right under the shirt.

Somewhere back in a dark corner of his mind, a silent alarm reminded him that this could turn into an awkward conversation if Cas ripped off his shirt and came face to face with his own angel wings - by now a rich black with swirls of dark greens and blues and purples. But somehow, that voice never made it very far in his mind.

If it happened, it would happen and he would deal with it.

For now, he was preoccupied with learning all the curves of Cas’ body and by God, he would take any awkwardness any day if only he was allowed to keep doing this.

The elevator _pinged_ , informing them of their arrival on the top level. Dean was about to pull back so they could try and make their way to Cas’ room in a somewhat orderly manner. But when the doors slid open, it was to a beautiful living room, illuminated only by the city lights shining in through the massive window fronts.

“Wow,” Dean breathed out, looking around for the barest fraction of a second while Cas’ lips latched onto his throat, kissing, licking, and biting every inch of it. 

He wanted to ask a question, wanted to be impressed by being in the penthouse of the Ritz Carlton - because shit, let’s be real, he would never have the money to rent this place by himself and it was fucking impressive - but there was no chance for a coherent thought to form as Cas pushed him back against the wall and kissed his way along his neck, down to his collar bone, and back up along his Adam’s apple.

“Fuck,” Dean breathed out, eyes falling shut as he let his head fall back to give Cas better access. And, holy shit, if Cas went on like this, pushing him against walls of any kind to devour him in whichever way he wanted, Dean would develop a new kink faster than he could say Poughkeepsie.

Cas’ husky chuckle tingled against the wet skin of his neck, sending shivers down his spine and straight to his cock, forcing a moan from him. Especially when those lips were suddenly under his ear, kissing his sweet spot - God, that man was divine and he definitely knew what he was doing. Dean was unable to remember the last time someone had turned him on this much - and their clothes weren’t even gone yet!

“Oh, trust me, Dean,” Cas breathed into his ear, and all Dean could do was to grip Cas’ hips to have an anchor in this whirlwind of heat and lust and longing. “I definitely count on you fucking me.”

Dean’s eyes snapped open.

He had had no expectation for what would happen up here, none at all. But for Cas to ask him in no uncertain terms what he wanted…

His eyes met Cas’ in the semi-darkness, sure that in between all the lust and the fire was an ounce of hesitation. Of anticipation how Dean would react to his request.

And while Dean could be a man of words - in this case, he much rather was a man of action.

With one swift move, he had reversed their positions, pinning Cas against the wall with his whole body, his arms resting on either side of his head, his gaze never straying from Cas’. Which was why he could see when the question in his eyes disappeared, overcome completely by raw lust.

He dipped his head for Cas’ to claim his mouth, not giving him the slightest chance to breathe - but who was thinking of such a profane thing as air in a moment like this?

Pressing closer still, Dean let one hand wander down Cas’ side, softly caressing him - a complete contrast to their heated kisses but it made Cas squirm in his arms in such a delightful way. As he reached his hip, he gripped tight, pushing them further together yet. Even with the jeans between them, there was no mistaking the firm hardness of Cas’ cock, pressing against Dean’s knee. His own cock was painfully thick in its confinements and he wanted - _needed_ \- to get them both out of these clothes.

As if reading his mind, Cas’ hands were on his belt. It was opened in seconds, followed right away by the button of his jeans and a moment later, Cas’ hand was in his pants, gripping his cock, stroking softly.

Dean had to break the kiss as a moan was ripped from him.

“Fuck, Cas. Bedroom, now. Need to be inside you.”

Their way through the penthouse to the bedroom was a bumpy one, neither of them bothering to switch on the lights, neither willing to let go of the other. By the time Cas pushed him through another door, they had already lost about half their clothes and most likely gained a few bruises by bumping into walls and corners and furniture.

Neither cared as they fell on the bed together, stripping off the last shirt and both boxershorts. There was a second in which Dean held his breath, knowing that Cas could be able to see his chest now - but that second was gone the moment he realized that it was too dark in this room to make out any details aside from silhouettes and contours.

As much as he was relieved about it - he also hated not being able to see all that much of Cas. Well then, he simply had to find other ways to take in his body, spread out on the bed all for him. He took his time taking him apart, letting his lips and hands map out what his eyes could not see. Cas’ hands were in his hair, caressing, gripping, scratching. Soft moans falling from his lips and Dean was sure he could go on like this forever.

He got an especially loud groan when he nibbled on Cas left hip, a smile spreading across his lips. Licking over the spot again, he chuckled as he could feel Cas’ cock harden further. So he had found his sweet spot. Nice.

“Those hip bones are to die for,” he whispered, carefully biting into the soft flesh there before soothing it with his tongue and lips again.

After an eternity - which was still not long enough - Dean made his way back up Cas’ body, leaving a trail of wet kisses. When he reached his lips, Cas looked thoroughly debauched, eyes half-lid and hazy and so full of lust.

As Dean claimed Cas’ lips again, he pressed himself flush against him, every inch of their bodies touching. They fit together so perfectly, molted together like two halves of one piece.

When they needed to breathe again, Dean’s lips wandered to Cas’ neck, and Cas bent his head back even further to give him better access.

“Dean, please,” he breathed out, his voice so rough by now it was hardly recognizable. 

All Dean did was to chuckle darkly, not stopping what he was doing. A growl left Cas, not deterring Dean in the slightest, his lips and hands taking this beautiful man beneath him apart. Slowly and surely rendering him into a begging mess.

It took a little bit, Cas obviously enjoying the attention very, very much, but after a while, there was no stopping Cas’ begging anymore.

“Please, Dean, nghh, Dean.” A loud groan fell from his lips, shortly interrupting his pleading. “Dean, I need you, please. Fuck, I need you inside of me, come on, Dean!”

One last time, Dean let his tongue run over the nipple, Cas’ back arching beautifully as _please_ after _please_ fell from his lips. 

Finally, Dean showed mercy.

With a rough, dark laugh, he leaned over Cas again.

“You beg so wonderfully. So fucking hot.”

“If you don’t get inside me soon, I swear to God -”

Dean interrupted him with another long kiss, before finally leaning back, getting up from Cas’ body. It took Cas a second, but he quickly used the newfound freedom to scramble up and lean over to the bedside table. He was rummaging around it for a second, probably having a hard time finding anything without any light - but Dean was glad he was not bothering with switching on the bedside lamp. At this point, he was definitely too hard and horny to have any coherent conversation of why there were black wings on his chest.

After a few seconds, Cas straightened up again, his face suddenly right before Dean’s. The lips on his distracted him for a moment - but despite that he reacted when Cas pressed a bottle of lube and a condom in his hand. Pushing him back down, he waited for Cas to turn on his stomach, holding up that perfect ass for Dean to see in the vague light.

“God, Cas. You’re so perfect.”

Ignoring the lube for a second, Dean leaned in and took some time to kiss and nibble along those perfect cheeks. Distracting Cas like that, he opened the bottle and lubed up his fingers. His lips wandered up to Cas' tailbone and further up, nibbling at the small of his back as he pushed one finger in. Cas’ moan went right to Dean’s cock. He was so painfully hard from all the teasing, from taking Cas apart to the point he was begging for him… God, Dean had forgotten how long it had been for himself as well, and if he wasn’t careful, this would end far sooner than they both wanted.

Despite that, he took his sweet time opening him up thoroughly. Only when Cas was bracing himself against his forearm, a begging and sobbing and swearing mess for Dean to _finally fucking fuck him_ , did Dean give in. Pulling out his fingers, he quickly cleaned them and put on the condom. He added some more lube and lined himself up with Cas.

He had to bite his own lip as he slowly sank into the tight heat, a long groan vibrating deep in his chest. Cas was no better - and who would have thought that he was so fucking vocal in bed?

When Dean bottomed out, he gave himself a moment to do nothing else but breathe, some precious few seconds to get used to the wonderful feeling of being buried in Cas. The man he loved. It seemed though he had brought Cas to his breaking point, as he was impatient and not willing to wait any longer. When he moved in a clear invitation, Dean gripped his hips hard to keep himself calm, drawing another low moan out of Cas.

Soon enough, Dean was sure that he had himself under enough control. With one swift move, he pulled back and pushed back in, all the while holding on to Cas’ hips like a lifeline. He built up a fast and steady rhythm and once he was sure Cas was too far gone to be all bossy and demand more, he only kept his left hand on his hip to keep him steady. His right hand wandered over Cas’ back, caressing it, mapping out the fine display of muscles as Cas arched into his touch like a needy cat.

Getting lost in the feeling, Dean did not slow down as he leaned over Cas, steadying himself on the headboard. The new angle seemed to be exactly right, as Cas let out a long guttural groan, followed right away by a chant of Dean’s name and “yes, yes, _yes_!”

Dipping down his head, Dean kissed and licked along the sweaty skin of Cas’ shoulder. It was an uncomfortable position but to hell with that. He needed to taste him, needed to have his lips on him or he would go crazy.

When the heat building in his belly got close to all-consuming, Dean finally pulled up again. Readjusting himself, careful not to slip out of Cas, he hauled them both up on their knees, maneuvering Cas to lean against his chest as he reached around and gripped Cas’ cock.

“Yes, Dean, _please_ ,” Cas begged as his head dropped back on Dean’s shoulder.

It was not the best position to really fuck into Cas, but those little thrusts were divine as well. Incredibly stimulating as they rocked together. Dean sucked and nipped at Cas’ shoulder and his neck, jacking him off with one hand as the other held him steady against his chest.

It didn’t take long until Cas went rigid beneath his hands, breath catching in his throat, a silent shout on his lips. A second later, Dean’s hand was coated in his sticky release, never ceasing in its movement as he helped Cas through his orgasm.

When he pressed a kiss against his sweaty throat, Cas drew a shuddering breath, gasping for air as he went boneless in Dean’s arms.

A smile spread over Dean’s face and he merely held him tightly for a moment, giving him the time he needed to come back from wherever his sanity had fled. He knew Cas was somewhat back in the game when he felt muscles clenching around his cock. With a shaky breath, Dean picked up speed again - as much as it was possible in this position - his arms wound further around Cas’ torso, pulling him as close as he could, holding him in place as he fucked into him, harder and harder.

With Cas’ help and that fine ass, it wasn’t much longer until Dean thrust into him one last time, deep and hard, stilling as he groaned into Cas’ neck, letting his orgasm wash over him as he held Cas close in his arms.

How long they knelt there on the bed like that, breathing heavy, dewy with sweat and clinging to each other, Dean could not tell. At one point, the hold of his arms loosened and Cas dropped forward onto the bed, stretching sinfully in the soft sheets. If he had been ten years younger, Dean was sure the sight alone had helped along for a second round. As it was, however, he had only enough energy to get rid of the condom and to grab some tissues from the bedside table to clean his hand and Cas’ dick, before falling face forward into those damn soft pillows.

“Mhhhhh,” he breathed out, snuggling further into this soft heaven.

When he heard Cas’ soft chuckle, he opened one eye, smiling back at him. Cas drew closer and as if they had done this a thousand times, Dean moved as well, turning to welcome Cas into his arms.

Cas snuggled up against him, pressing a kiss to Dean’s collarbone - an inch above his own birthmark, giving Dean a momentary heart attack.

Right away, however, Cas let his head rest against Dean’s chest, a deep and peaceful sigh leaving him, signaling that he was content with where he was and ready to drift off to sleep.

Dean was sure it would be wiser to put on a shirt, if only to make sure Cas would not see anything he was not supposed to see when they both woke up.

But it was too damn comfortable and Cas was in his arms, the moment too perfect and precious to be interrupted by such banalities…

All too soon, Dean did not know anymore what he had been worried about at all, the sweet scent of Cas and sex and warmth slowly lolling him over into the land of dreams.

~*~*~*~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title from The Mavericks, "Dance The Night Away"


	5. Calm before The Storm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Birthday to Sam Winchester 😍 it was the luckiest coincident that my posting date would fall on his birthday - because his birthday party plays a very big role in the following chapter 😉 ...

It was his damn alarm that woke Cas the next morning from a blissful sleep. Quick as always, he switched it off, groaning over having to get up. But he knew, if he would not be showered and ready by the time Rowena showed up, she would drag him out of bed herself.

Opening his eyes, Cas rubbed the sleep out of them. His alarm was set for seven - when had they fallen asleep? Given how tired he was, it could not have been more than four, maybe five hours ago.

As he sat up, a rather uncomfortable sensation in his rear brought back all the memories of last night, waking him up far quicker than any coffee ever could. Repositioning himself enough to go easy on his backside, Cas turned and looked at the stunning man next to him. Dean was lying on his stomach, face turned away, his arms disappearing under the fluffy pillow. By the way his upper body slowly moved up and down, Cas was sure that his alarm had not disturbed this wonderful human being. With the knowledge that Dean did not have to open his shop today, since his employees were on duty, Cas had no qualms letting him rest for a while longer.

He knew he should get up. Should get showered and ready. His first interview was at eight but… God damn, there was a hot man lying in his bed and he finally had the time - and the light! - to really admire his physique as well.

And all the birthmarks covering Dean’s shoulder blades and backside. It was a wild twirl of washed-out colors and forms, blacks and greys. In between, there were writings and Cas was sure that those were no birthmark but real tattoos. It almost looked as if a sentence went with every other birthmark. Intrigued, Cas leaned closer and reached out, tracing the lines of the writing.

No, it did not only look like it. There indeed was at least three words around some of the birthmarks.

He knew he probably shouldn’t - but Cas couldn’t help himself, they were too stunning and fascinating to ignore. Leaning in further, he read the first line.

_Love isn't like it is in books ~ F. Scott Fitzgerald_

Cas smiled at that quote, wondering if the birthmark it went with was from a person that loved books as much as Dean did. Had they maybe met in his shop? Had they fallen in love over books and stories?

_Love is never lost. If not reciprocated, it will flow back and soften and purify the heart. ~ Washington Irving_

He was sure this birthmark belonged to a person Dean still held dear. One he had developed feelings for that the other person did not return but had been kind about letting Dean know. 

_A broken heart is just the growing pains necessary so that you can love more completely when the real thing comes along. ~ J. S. B. Morse_

This one went with a birthmark on Dean’s shoulder, and Cas wondered if it belonged to someone who had broken Dean’s heart. Someone who had made it so that it had been a while since Dean had fallen in love again.

All of a sudden, Cas felt like he was invading a very intimate and personal part of Dean’s life. Just because he quite literally wore his heart on his skin did not mean that everyone had permission to invade it. Pulling away his hand, Cas threw one last, longing gaze at Dean, then finally got up and made his way to the bathroom, with a detour to grab a fresh pair of boxers and a shirt.

While relieving himself and brushing his teeth, Cas had to fight his dropping eyes. God, he should have slept some more… but then again, it was totally worth it, Cas thought with a grin, stretching some as he walked over to the shower and switched it on. Now that he wasn’t sitting on his bum anymore, the sore feeling all over his body was more than pleasantly. It was heavenly and divine, reminding him with every move of the previous night, Dean’s rough voice, his breath on Cas’ skin, his hands all over him.

The hot spray hit him exactly how he liked it and Cas made sure to steer his thoughts away from Dean while he was scrubbing himself down. He had no desire to jerk off in the shower - not when it was very possible that Dean would be all over him again tonight. Cas was helpless against the grin splitting his face.

God, he might be imagining it, but once again, he had the sensation of feeling Dean’s hand on his skin. On his hip to be precise. The area Dean had held as they danced and when they kissed. Where Dean had held him as he had taken him apart, thrusting into him slowly. The one he had worshiped with his tongue and lips, claiming that Cas’ hip bones were to die for.

The area where Dean’s birthmark had begun to form for over a week now.

Getting out of the water and drying up, Cas was sure that he did not imagine the tingling anymore. Was he going crazy? Had Dean maybe left some bruises there? Was something wrong with the shadowy imprint that spoke of his growing feelings for Dean?

Just like last time, Cas carefully pushed the towel away, looking down to his left hip…

And just like last time, there was absolutely no mistaking it.

What had only been shadowy and dusty a few days ago - was now bright and intense. The stack of books looked lively, the nebula of colors vibrant. 

Cas tried to keep his breathing calm as he let his fingers run over the mark.

A birthmark that told him what any other person might have known without the proof etched into their skin - but what was a new sensation to Cas. One his heart had recognized before his brain was able to name it.

His heart.

His heart was currently beating so hard, Cas was scared it would jump out of his chest at any second now. But then again, it felt as if it was not even his anymore. His heart was not in his chest anymore to jump anywhere.

Because it now belonged to the man sleeping in the next room.

A soft bubble of happiness formed inside of his stomach, welling over as the first tears rolled and huffs of laughter escaped him.

Castiel James had finally fallen in love.

~*~*~*~

Dean slowly woke to the sensation of fingers skimming over his skin. Instantly, he knew where he was. Who these fingers belonged to. And that he had to fake being asleep for a little longer.

Because if he would be awake, he would have to turn around.

And if he turned around - in the early morning sunlight, naked, the bedding pooling around his hip and out of reach to cover him - Cas would see his own wings on Dean’s chest. He hated himself for keeping this secret from Cas but he didn’t know how to tell him. True, by now he would be able to fake that the feelings had begun recently. But knowing that Cas would never return these feelings… well, it could get pretty awkward. Which was something Dean absolutely did not want.

At all.

So he waited, careful to keep his breathing even. After a moment, the fingers disappeared, then he heard the rustling of bedding, felt the bed jostling as Cas got up. Heard him walk across the room to the closet and then finally, finally, the bathroom door closed. He waited for a moment longer, not risking that Cas had forgotten something and would come back out.

When he heard the shower, he quickly got up and searched the floor for his discarded boxers and shirt. Not that it was a nice feeling putting on last night’s stuff, but it was definitely better than risking Cas seeing a very telling birthmark. Thank god he had chosen a black shirt yesterday. He knew very well that Cas’ wings were vibrant enough by now to shimmer through his white shirts.

Once he had also pulled on his boxers, Dean looked around the room, but his jeans were nowhere in sight. Of course not, Dean had lost them somewhere between the front door and the bedroom. Grinning as Dean remembered the eager way Cas had undressed him last night he stepped out of the bedroom and made his way over to the kitchenette, picking up his jeans on his way there.

Jeans in hand, Dean looked around the kitchenette, trying to figure out where everything was without having to open every cupboard. Thankfully, Cas was as much a coffee-holic as Dean himself was. So he had no issue locating the very fancy looking machine, powder ready next to it. Dean tossed his jeans over one of the chairs of the kitchen isle and got the coffee going. Starting this elixir of life was one hundred percent more important than being dressed properly by the time Cas would show up.

“You might want to cover up that cute little bahookie of yours, my dear.”

Dean turned so quickly he knocked his knee into one of the chairs, rattling them as he caught his balance. His swearing stopped the second he saw a woman sitting on one of the couches in the sitting area, a few feet over from the kitchenette. She was not looking at him, her gaze fixed on a phone in her hand on which she typed away.

“Shit, what- who? What the hell?”

The twist of her lips looked rather wicked as her gaze flicked to him for a second, then back to her phone.

“Well, ‘hell’ is not so far off, my dear. Castiel likes to call me the queen of hell sometimes.”

Taking a moment to get his bearings back together and not blurt out the next best thing, Dean breathed in and out once before responding.

“Rowena McLoud, I take it?”

“I knew there were brains to go along with that fine body of yours,” Rowena replied, once again looking up from her phone. This time, however, she let her gaze wander up and down his body, and although Dean’s lower regions were hidden behind the kitchen island, he felt very naked all of a sudden. Quickly grabbing his jeans, Dean pulled them on, ignoring Rowena’s pearly giggles. Which sounded equal parts amused and mocking.

Despite that, he did not have a bad feeling about this woman. He also knew that Cas adored her and that she had been taking care of him since the beginning of his career. This woman was obviously one of the good ones, even if she liked to tease poor half-naked men.

“Pity.”

“What?” Dean questioned, absolutely confused.

Once again, her piercing eyes were on him - it did not take Dean long to understand why Cas liked to affectionally call her the queen of hell. He bet this woman was a shark in negotiations.

“It’s a pity you followed my advice. I rather liked seeing that sexy bahookie of yours.”

“My… my _what_?”

It was definitely too early for this. And Gods, Dean needed coffee. Maybe this was why Cas had started his own coffee addiction. One certainly needed it to be up to par with a woman like Rowena McLoud.

“Your bahookie.”

His blank stare must have told her that he still had no idea what she was talking about. Rolling her eyes, she gracefully rose and strode over to the kitchen island, sitting down on the other side of Dean.

“Your _bum_ , darling. Your cute little _behind_.”

“Oh, right,” Dean said, collecting his thoughts - and praying that the coffee would be done any second now. “And you Scottish people seriously call it… _bahookie_?”

“Some do, not all. But it’s certainly nicer than _arse_.”

Chuckling, Dean gave up. Yep, it was too early to argue with that woman. Instead, he turned around and got three mugs out of the pantry. He prepared the one for Cas with an unhealthy amount of sugar and his own with a normal amount. Turning to Rowena, he gave her a questioning look.

“Black, darling.”

“Why am I not surprised,” Dean replied, satisfied when he heard her chuckle. He had a feeling that while he would have to be on his toes the whole time, he would probably get along very well with Rowena.

If there was even a reason for that. For all he knew, this would be the first and last time he ever met her.

Quickly distracting himself from such negative thoughts, Dean poured the finally finished coffee into the three mugs.

Rowena was back to typing on her phone, only giving him one sideway comment of, “thanks, darling,” but otherwise ignoring him. Dean was unsure if this was because she was used to drinking coffee with Cas’... one-night stands? Flings? Did he do that often?? Or if maybe it was because she really _was_ busy. Her raised eyebrow and razor-focused gaze would hint to that option.

Whatever it was, Dean was rather relieved when the bedroom door opened and a sharply dressed Cas came strolling down the hallway. The moment his eyes met Dean’s, a smile spread across that handsome face - and Dean’s heart skipped a damn beat. Would he ever not react like this to seeing Cas?

“Good morning, Dean,” Cas said, taking the coffee with a nod from him. Only then did he turn to Rowena. “And good morning to you too, Rowena. As you can see, I’m up and ready.”

“Of course you are, darling. I’m certain you would _not_ have liked me walking in on you and Dean while naked in bed.” Putting down her phone for the first time since Cas had entered, she finally looked up at him, her grin once again wicked. “Although I’m sure _I_ would have liked what I would have seen.”

Dean was no prude but there was something about Rowena and her ways of wording and delivering innuendos that had even his face heat up. Not much but enough that he was sure a light blush covered his cheeks.

Meanwhile, Cas only rolled his eyes, giving Dean the impression that he was used to the woman way too much to be affected by her teasing.

It was confirmed by his next line, which he delivered with a dry and bored tone of voice.

“If you’re nice to us, maybe Dean will be willing to put on a show for you one day. Who knows.”

Dean sputtered into his coffee, the hot liquid instantly going down the wrong pipe, leaving him a heaving and coughing mess.

The pearly laughter cut through the air, at the same time he felt Cas’ warm hand on his back, rubbing soothing circles into his skin. When he looked up, Cas gave him an apologetic smile.

“I’m sorry, Dean. I forgot that you’re not used to the way Rowena and I speak with each other sometimes.”

“Yeah, don’t mind me,” Dean wheezed out. He had to clear his throat one last time, then a last cough and he was finally good enough again to look back up.

Cas’ hand was on his back though and he was leaning into his space.

“I was only joking, of course,” he told him in a whisper they both knew probably did not give them any privacy at all, Rowena sitting too close. Though she was busy with her phone again, obviously giving them a moment. Cas seemed to know that as well, as he leaned in and brushed his lips over Dean’s. “I wouldn’t let _anyone_ watch us.”

“No voyeurism kink?” Dean asked with a raised eyebrow.

Cas huffed a laugh. “Not at all.”

“Good,” he replied, leaning in to press their lips together again. “Me neither.”

Another quick kiss, then Cas leaned back to smile at Dean. Their bodies still pressed close, he took a big gulp of his coffee as he turned back to Rowena.

Dean did the same, this time not at all phased by her piercing gaze fixed on them. Somehow, Cas’ presence instantly calmed him.

“Oh boys, don’t be so cute together. You know I enjoy my coffee black, not mixed with such sweetness.”

As if to demonstrate, she herself took a delicate sip from her mug. Once she put it down, however, the banter seemed to be over, her gaze saying business time.

“I saw online that the two of you had a nice evening last night. Dean, darling, I’m happy to see you’re such a good dancer.” Looking up from her phone again, she first gave him a raised eyebrow before addressing Cas. “You should keep him around. He will certainly make you look good during a gala. Definitely much better than that April girl did last time.”

“Yikes,” Cas replied, visibly wincing. “Yeah, she was a terrible dancer. I think my big toe was swollen for two full days after.”

Dean quickly took another gulp of his coffee, trying to hide the uproaring feeling the statement had set off in him. Of course, he knew Rowena was only joking. Still, though. The thought of Cas “keeping him around”, of Dean accompanying him to galas and balls and whatever all the events were a movie star had to attend…

Dean needed to find a way to keep his heart in check.

However, that was no easy feat when Cas was standing so close, laughing with his manager, all the while Cas’ thumb rubbed small circles on Dean’s shoulder blades, almost absentmindedly. 

All this was surely a good enough excuse that it took Dean a moment to process Rowena’s words for real.

“Hang on,” he finally got out. “Dancing… so people really filmed us and put it online?”

“Well, the videos I found look like people have been filming the band and zoomed in on you once they realized who you were,” Rowena explained, pulling a Tablet over that had been lying on the island. Typing something on it, she pulled up YouTube, turning the Tablet around for the two of them to watch.

“Wow, they got a pretty good angle, too,” Cas breathed out, leaning further into Dean as they watched themselves dancing on the screen. 

It was obvious from the angle that the video had been taken by someone from the crowd of onlookers. The way it did not show their dance from the beginning also proved that whoever had taken the video had caught them by chance, as they had let their camera wander around to show the dancing and cheering people all around them.

“Rowena’s right, you know?” Cas continued. “You _do_ look quite dashing.”

Dean chuckled softly under his breath, finally manning up to look back at Rowena.

“Are you mad? Will this - I mean, is this bad for Cas’ publicity?”

The woman raised one perfectly styled eyebrow.

“You tell me. _Is_ there something that would concern the public?”

Since he had no idea how to answer that, Dean was thankful that Cas answered right away.

“My private life shouldn’t concern the public in general,” he huffed out, his brows knitting together. 

Dean’s fingers itched as he longed to smooth out the scowl but he kept his hands by his side as Cas went on. 

“But since I know that that’s not gonna happen…” 

He looked up at Dean, his gaze intense, those blue eyes searching Dean’s face for something Dean was not sure of what it was.

“I hope you won’t mind if we keep it to the ‘friends’-story for now? I mean…”

Dean’s stomach dropped and he had no idea why. It was so irrational. First of all, he knew this most likely was a friends-with-benefits-thing, at best. At least it was a one night stand kinda thing. Not one second had Dean - well, the _rational_ side of Dean - thought that it could be anything more. At all.

Therefore, there was no reason for him to be saddened by Cas’ request.

Even _if_ it was meant to be more, it was quite obvious that Cas did not want to feed it to the media right away - which was actually a nice thing! So, really, _really_ , there was no reason for Dean’s stomach to suddenly drop.

And yet.

He could not help the sudden sad feeling taking root inside of him.

“Do… Do you have to comment on it at all? I mean… it’s just a video, right?” 

“Well, usually, I would agree,” Rowena answered instead of Cas. “But he _has_ a scheduled interview marathon, starting in thirteen minutes. And after the whole fuss about you two these past few days, they are bound to bring it up.”

“Damn. I’m sorry, Cas.”

“What for? They would have asked about you either way, so don’t worry,” Cas reassured him, his hand never stopping their caress of Dean’s back. And God, if that didn’t feel amazing. Once again, Cas leaned in, his voice lower, giving them a false sense of privacy. “As long as you won’t misunderstand when you read online that it was ‘nothing more than a dance with a friend’.”

Cas’ smile was sweet, almost bashful. There was something there he was not saying out loud, Dean was sure of it. Something Cas wanted him to understand without words.

Searching his eyes, Dean leaned in closer, lowering his voice as well. He had no idea where he took the confidence from - but his next words tumbled out of his mouth nevertheless.

“So you’re saying… it _was_ more than that?”

Cas’ eyes widened.

Instead of replying right away, he turned to his manager instead.

“Rowena, I’m sure there is some other matter that needs your attention right now?”

The Queen of Hell rolled her eyes.

“Very subtle, my dear. I’ll leave you two to it - but you only have ten minutes. Don’t be late! I’ll make sure the reporters stay in the conference room downstairs.” She got up and smoothed out her perfectly tailored suit skirt, then took her phone and made her way to the door. “Oh and, Dean, darling. You would do me a great favor if you could take the back entrance when you leave. I might be able to smooth over the dance - but a walk of shame will definitely be harder to cover. See you later, handsome. Cas, eight minutes!”

Once the door clicked shut, Cas immediately turned towards him.

“Look, Dean, I don’t have enough time now, I’m sorry for that.”

“Don’t worry, Cas,” Dean replied, his confidence already wavering. “Forget what I said, it was-”

“No! Dean, no. I can understand why you have to ask, given my… well, given that it is _me_.” He huffed a deep breath, obviously sorting his words, so Dean did not interrupt. At last, Cas looked back up to him. “Look, can… can we meet later and talk about this? I don’t wanna talk this through when I only have five minutes left before Rowena will have my head.”

“Wait so…” Dean needed to sort his thoughts as well, but quickly pressed on. “You’re saying there _is_ something to talk about?”

The smile spreading over Cas’ face told him more than a thousand words and Dean could feel his heart soar. Especially when Cas leaned in to press a kiss to his lips. He deepened it for only a second, both of them minding the time and when he pulled back, he was smiling softly.

“I definitely think there is, Dean Winchester.”

Despite this wonderful admission, Dean forced himself not to jump to conclusions. Maybe Cas only wanted to tell him that he liked having him around and that they could have a romp in bed whenever he was in town. But whatever it was, Dean would wait for it.

“Alright then, Castiel James,” he replied, putting on his charming grin as he pulled him closer for another quick kiss. “When will you be done?”

“Hopefully by four. Meet you at six on your rooftop?”

“Sounds perfect,” Dean replied - only to suddenly realize which day it was. Closing his eyes, he groaned. “No, shit. I totally forgot. It’s the 2nd of May.”

“Oh yeah, Sam’s birthday, right?”

“Yeah, damn. Sorry.”

“Don’t worry, Dean,” Cas assured him, brushing his hand through Dean’s hair. “How about tomorrow then?”

The thought of going a full day without seeing Cas suddenly sounded unbearable. Which was probably why his next words tumbled out of his mouth before his brain had given any consent. 

“Or you could join me. Come to the party with me.”

Cas looked almost as surprised as Dean felt himself. Maybe even more. Yet... now that the words were out in the open, Dean realized how much he liked the idea of Cas meeting his closest friends and family. Not to forget the thought of _them_ meeting _Cas_.

“Are you sure?”

“Absolutely!”

Cas’ eyes searched his for a short moment, his smile quickly reappearing on his face.

“Alright. Yes. Absolutely.”

They were interrupted by Cas’ phone buzzing. Right away, Cas groaned.

“Shit, that’s Rowena. I gotta run,” he added with an apologetic pout.

Dean chuckled and quickly kissed the pout away, then pushed Cas towards the door of the hotel room.

“Go! I don’t want her to blame me for your tardiness.”

“Very funny,” Cas groused as he stepped in front of the full-length mirror to make sure he looked presentable. “Oh, by the way, make yourself at home here. Take a shower, take some of my clean clothes, eat breakfast. Anything you need.”

“Alright, I will. Now shoo,” Dean replied with a mock stern face.

Cas only huffed a laugh at that, blew him a kiss, and then left the room.

The moment the door closed behind him, Dean felt as if he was deflating.

_Holy shit, what had just happened??_ He wondered.

After a few minutes of utter quietness, he finally pulled out his phone and pulled up the chat with his brother.

Muting the phone, he left it on the counter as he made his way back to the bedroom and into the spacious bathroom. No chance in hell would he pass up on the opportunity to take a shower at the Ritz Carlton.

~*~*~*~

When the door behind the last reporter closed, Cas slammed back into the couch. God, how he hated interview marathons and he was fairly certain his co-stars did feel the same way. Why not host a press conference? But no, every magazine and promi flash and whatnot of course deserved the right to ask their own questions. Which was especially fun when about half of them wanted to know only one thing: 

Who was Dean Winchester and what did he mean to him?

For a wild moment, Cas entertained the thought of telling them the truth. Of telling them exactly what Dean meant to him. Maybe shock them all and show them the birthmark on his skin.

With a smile on his lips, Cas looked around the room suspiciously - there surely were no hidden cameras anywhere, right? When he was certain he was alone and no one would be able to sneak a picture of him, Cas tugged the shirt out of his pants.

There it was.

Still etched into his skin, still in vibrant colors, the sensation of Dean’s touch lingering. As for the last part, Cas was still unsure if he was imagining it or if that was normal. Did Dean feel the touch of every person whose birthmark was on his skin? Surely not, right? After all, one was able to gain birthmarks from people who had never touched them.

Maybe he should ask Dean.

_Dean_.

Now that the last of his responsibilities for a good week was over, he had finally some time to breathe and to relax - and to maybe explore whatever it was he had with Dean.

Tracing along the books, Cas wondered how Dean would react. He was fairly certain that he meant something to Dean by now as well. The way he had responded to him this morning. The way he sometimes looked at him. The way he had taken care of him last night…

But was all this already enough to speak of love? Was this what Dean had described the other night in his bunker when Cas had questioned him about love?

Sometimes, Cas wished he would not be this inexperienced with the whole concept. Those old marks on his skin that spoke of teenage crushes and infatuations… he himself had to search for them by now they were so shadowy, a long-gone memory.

None of them had been Love.

None of them had been this deep and vibrant and sharp.

But what if Dean did not feel the same? Or worse, what if he only harbored a crush for him but nothing serious?

Pushing those thoughts aside, Cas got up and left the room they had used for his interviews. As he made his way to the elevator he pulled out his phone, the smile stealing itself on his lips as he saw a message from Dean waiting for him.

Cas quickly checked the time, then sent back a text.

Biting his lip, Cas only hesitated for a moment before typing out and sending another text.

Once inside the penthouse, Cas quickly stripped out of his clothes and jumped into the shower. He could hear his phone vibrate halfway through but finished and dried up before reaching for it again.

As he read Dean’s words, Cas realized for the first time that he would not only meet Dean’s brother tonight but also a good part of his friends and family.

_Well then_.

He was not going to ask if Dean was sure this was a good idea. If he had learned anything about the man over the past few weeks, it was that he meant what he said.

Therefore, instead of worrying too much, Cas made sure to get ready and soon left the hotel, ready to meet Dean’s family.

~*~

“Nervous?”

Dean looked over at him as they stood on the front step of a nice townhouse in one of the better parts of the city. The smile Dean sent him spoke of warmth and about how much Dean cared for him and his well being.

With a reassuring grin, Cas reached for Dean’s hand and squeezed it once. 

“A bit,” he admitted. “But I’m with you, so I know it will be alright.”

“Castiel James, you sure _know_ how to flatter a guy.”

They were both chuckling when the door opened, revealing a giant of a man with a welcoming smile on his face. The moment he saw Dean, that smile stretched wider as he stepped forward.

“Hey, Jerk.”

“Hey, Bitch,” Dean replied, his grin rivaling that of the man he assumed must be Sam Winchester. There surely was a family resemblance and when Dean pulled him into an embrace and muttered, “Happy Birthday, Sammy,” Cas’ assumption was confirmed.

Lowering his gaze to give the brothers a moment of privacy, he looked back up when Dean stepped aside.

“Sam, I’d like you to meet Cas. Cas, this is my brother, Sam.”

Sam Winchester did not look surprised at all to find Castiel James on his doorstep. Instead, he gave him a friendly smile and held out his hand, which Cas took right away.

“Hey, Castiel. It’s very nice to meet you.”

“It’s nice to meet you too, Sam. And happy birthday.”

“Thanks. Come on in. Oh and - in case Dean didn’t warn you. Our family can get pretty loud and rambunctious. Please don’t let them scare you off.”

“I won’t, don’t worry,” Cas replied, taming his urge to reach for Dean’s hand again to hold it. Not even because he needed any reassurance. Simply because… he wanted to.

Was this what it meant to be in love? Constantly wanting to reach for the other? To touch them and be near them?

As he followed Sam along the hallway towards the back of the house, he could feel Dean’s hand on the small of his back. Only now did he realize what a common occurrence this had become between them. Every time they would go somewhere, Dean would let Cas step ahead; he would hold open doors for him or guide him with the barest touch of his hand. Always giving him a sense of security, reassuring him he was there.

Cas was sure Dean didn’t notice he was doing this for him - it was simply how he was. A real gentleman.

Throwing a quick glance and a smile back over his shoulder, he was met with Dean’s sparkling gaze, a smile waiting for him.

Instantly, there was a tingling in the area of his stomach. A light feeling but also as if… as if he had butterflies inside his stomach. And they were currently soaring pretty high.

Looking back straight ahead, Cas was unable to drop his smile.

Yes, this was definitely what it was like to be in love.

~*~

Meeting Dean’s family was… an experience. A pleasant one though, Cas decided well into the night. After the initial shock of the rest of the party guests, everyone had calmed down and had behaved pretty normal towards him. Apparently, Dean had told his brother only that he would bring a guest - but not who it would be. Sam, though, knowing his brother - and the current news, as it seemed - had guessed who he had been talking about, but had decided not to tell anyone else in case he misunderstood.

When they had entered the small garden behind the house, everybody had instantly fallen silent - until a shorter man had yanked his fist in the air with a _whoop_ of triumph.

“I _knew it_! I win! That’s laundry duty for a month for you, Sammycakes.”

Sam had rolled his eyes, before turning to Cas with an apologetic grin.

“Please forgive him. Apparently, my husband forgot his good manners.”

“Your husband has good manners? Since when?” Dean had asked, looking genuinely confused, for which he got a glare from his brother.

After that, the ice had been broken and over the course of the evening, Cas had been introduced to the people closest to the Winchester brothers.

There was Gabriel, for one, Sam’s husband - and if Cas was not mistaken, Sam had gotten a knock on his head from Dean for betting about them in any kind of way. However, he quickly realized he liked Gabriel’s big mouth and quirky nature, laughing with him about some stories about the brothers.

There was Charlie Bradbury, the tech goddess, as Dean introduced her, and Cas remembered the name as the one who had made Dean’s online appearance safe from any snooping journalists. When she teased Dean mercilessly for his ‘Notting Hill’-entrance, a lot of the other guests joined in and Cas was unable to stop his own laugh, even when Dean sent him a glare, feigning to be hurt by his ‘betrayal’.

There was Ellen Harvelle - a kind woman who was looked at by the brothers as a second mother, as Cas noticed pretty quickly - and Bobby Singer, an old friend of their dad and as close as an uncle to them.

There were more faces - not too many, it really was a smaller affair - but Cas might need a refresher soon about their names. If he was bad at one thing, it was remembering the names of people he had just met. The ones that had stuck in his brain were the ones who had talked with him the most that evening.

And really talked with _him_. There were no questions about movies or co-stars or life in Hollywood. No, there were _normal_ conversations.

About how he and Dean had met.

About Ellen’s bar and how she had issues again with the music box - which Dean promised to fix some time next week.

About Charlie’s new girlfriend, for which she got teased by Dean (surely as payback) and which he claimed was his ‘right as her big brother’.

About the destination of this year’s road trip the brothers would take in August.

About so many more things, some of them including Cas, some not - but it was all so very well. Because even if he could not join every conversation, he felt welcomed and at peace. These people truly did not care that he was a famous movie star. All they cared about was that he and Dean were… well, friends, though something told him that no one in the room believed that to be true.

It was going well onto midnight by the time they said goodnight to the last of their friends - who, Cas had learned over the course of the night, were all considered extended family to some degree.

While Sam showed them out, Dean was helping Gabriel in the kitchen. They had told him he could sit down and not worry about cleaning up, but Cas made sure there were no plates or glasses left around the garden and the living room. One last plate in hand, Cas was about to head back to the kitchen - when his gaze fell to a shelf that had previously drawn his attention as it was filled with a lot of pictures.

Hesitating for a moment - would this be considered snooping? Invading someone’s privacy? - Cas finally looked around the room. There was no one there and he could hear laughter from the kitchen. Making up his mind, he put the plate back on the glass table and moved over.

There were pictures of any and all kinds. The most prominent one, the centerpiece, showed Sam and Gabriel, both in black tuxedos, facing each other but smiling into the camera. The picture left no question it had been taken on their wedding day. A few more pictures on the shelf showed more impressions of that day - like a beautiful shot of some of the ladies he had met today, all in bridesmaid dresses, and another one of Dean and his brother, both smiling wide. Cas looked closer at that one and, holy hell. If Rowena already liked how good Dean looked while dancing, she would positively _drool_ once she got to see him in a tux.

Cas certainly was drooling.

There were older pictures as well. Of a beautiful blonde woman, holding a toddler, a young boy next to them. On closer inspection, Cas was sure this must have been Mary Winchester with her sons, something about her smile and her eyes just screamed _Dean_ to him. Another picture showed a young Dean - maybe around ten? Eleven? - and an even younger Sam, sitting on the hood of a car, grinning madly. They were flanked by two men - once again, it was a no brainer who he saw in the picture. Especially since two older versions of Henry and John Winchester could be found in the next picture, this time with an older Dean in front of the bookstore. Dean looked to be in his early twenties and while Cas had seen some resemblance to Dean in his mother’s features, seeing three generations of Winchester men next to each other was truly stunning. They looked like different aged versions of the same man.

Many more pictures showed Sam and Gabriel, and Cas was about to leave it be, his curiosity definitely sated - when another picture drew his attention.

It showed Dean, Sam, and Gabriel at a beach, arms thrown over each others’ shoulders, as they posed for the camera. All three men wore nothing but their swim trunks, and sunglasses - except for Gabriel, who wore what looked like crazy antlers on his head, sporting the numbers 2013. It looked like a remnant of some New Year’s Eve merchandise. The year rang a bell - Gabriel had told him earlier that it had been the year of their wedding and that their bachelor party had happened during a summer vacation at the beach.

But that was not what had drawn Cas’ gaze.

No, what had drawn him into this picture was Dean’s naked torso - however, not for the reason he would have believed.

Because what really, _really_ drew his attention; what had his breath stuck in his lungs and his heart hammering painfully and the blood in his veins racing…

… was the shadowy birthmark on Dean’s chest, the one which showed a very familiar set of dark angel wings.

~*~*~*~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title from Skyview, "The Calm Before the Storm"


	6. Cause It’s Nothing Without You

Something was off. 

Maybe Dean should have noticed it earlier, but it was not until they were in the car and a good ways back to Dean’s place, when he realized something about the silence between them was not as comfortable as it usually was.

Looking over at Cas - who was staring out the side window, ignoring Dean - he contemplated if he should say something. Was it something Dean had done? Something he had said? Maybe someone had said something to Cas that had upset him? But who? And what?

But no, Dean was sure no one in his family would _purposefully_ say or do anything to upset Cas.

Then what was it? Or was it anything at all? Maybe Cas was tired - he had a long day after all, with a lot of interviews and then later Dean’s family, who even at their best behavior was a handful.

Dean decided not to worry, as he parked his car on the side street and got out. After a moment, Cas followed him, carefully closing the door. As Dean stepped onto the sidewalk, he sent Cas a smile, which was barely returned. Dropping his smile, Dean was unsure how to proceed, longing for Cas to close the distance between them.

He cleared his throat.

“Should we… ehm - should we go upstairs?”

It was such a stupid question. They had talked about it earlier before leaving, that they would stay at Dean’s place tonight. So why was it he now felt he had to ask if that was going to happen after all? Should he have asked earlier? Or at least once he had noticed something was wrong? Damn, why had he assumed it?

After a long moment of awkward silence, Cas finally broke it, his voice distant, lacking any of the warmth and mirth Dean had so gotten used to.

“I think I’ll just head back to the hotel. I’m pretty beat.”

“Oh,” Dean replied, swallowing away the knot forming in his throat. “Sure. Get- get back in the car, I’ll drive you.”

“That won’t be necessary. I’ll walk.”

Squinting at him, Dean stopped in his tracks back to the driver’s side.

“Walk? I thought you said you’re beat?”

“I am. But I could also use the fresh air.”

“Cas, it’s the middle of the night. Lemme drive you real quick.”

“I said no!”

Stunned by the anger in Cas’ voice, Dean drew back as if he had been slapped, unbelieving of what had just happened. All he could do was to stare at Cas, mouth hanging open.

What the fuck was happening?

“Apologies. That was uncalled for,” Cas said, visibly forcing himself to speak calmer again. “As I said, I think I could use some fresh air. So I’ll walk back now.”

“Okay,” Dean breathed out, fervently hoping for something to snap. For something to fall into place, so all this would make sense.

Cas himself seemed to hesitate, despite his firm declaration. After a moment, he nodded, as if to confirm something to himself.

“Okay,” he echoed Dean’s comment, then turned into the direction of his hotel - a few miles away from here - and began his walk.

Dean could not believe this was happening. Where the fuck had this wonderful day gone all wrong?

“Did- did I do something?”

The question tumbled out of his mouth before his brain had given him permission to do so. To his astonishment, Cas indeed stopped in his tracks.

“Or… did something happen? Did- did someone say anything to you?”

As Cas turned back around, Dean was sure he could see a flicker of sorrow on his face - but it was gone the next second, replaced by a stoically neutral expression. For the first time since he had met him, Dean was under the impression that he was not talking to Cas.

This was Castiel James, professional actor and movie star, who was able to tell the same sugarcoated story to one hundred and one reporters without batting an eye.

Cas was hiding behind his mask and air of professionalism - and Dean was sure his heart had never hurt like this before.

“No,” Castiel finally answered. “They were all perfectly polite.”

“Then… what is it? Because, excuse me if I’m jumping to conclusions here right now, but I seem to remember everything was fine this morning. And it clearly isn’t now.”

He could see Cas swallow hard, one, two, three times, before he sucked in air, his careful mask slowly crumbling.

“Let’s not talk about it tonight. I’m tired. I’ll text you tomorrow.”

“Cas, come on, please -”

“Please, Dean!” Cas begged and to Dean’s great shock, he could _hear_ the tears in Cas’ watery voice. “Please,” he repeated, swallowing harshly once more - so very clearly fighting his tears. “Not tonight.”

Dean’s heart was breaking.

He knew it was, he had felt it before. But nothing quite compared to the pain he felt right now. The pain for himself - but also the pain for Cas. He wanted to go to him, hold him, reassure him. Soothe away his sorrow, all the pain visible on his face. Wanted to wipe away the tears threatening to spill over.

But he could do none of that. All he could do was to give Cas what he asked for. 

Space.

“Okay,” he whispered once more. “Okay, Cas. Just… be careful, please.”

Cas gave him a jerky nod, before once more turning around, striding towards the main street and his hotel.

All Dean could do was look after him - and go over every little thing he had said and done this evening that could have led to this very moment.

~*~

No matter how much he mulled over it, Dean was unable to find the moment it had all gone wrong and had headed into the direction of this clusterfuck.

He had hardly slept at all the night before, thankful that the shop was closed on Sundays. Again and again, Dean checked his phone for any new messages from Cas - but they never came.

The last one was from the previous night and it was nothing more than a curt ‘back at the hotel’. 

Nothing more.

Not even a ‘good night’ or a ‘sleep well’. Nothing.

He walked around his apartment like a tiger in a cage - until he could not take it anymore and went jogging instead.

It only helped so much with his pent-upped energy and his frustration of being _helpless_. He wanted to run over to the hotel and demand Cas would talk with him - he had a right to know what he had done wrong, or not?

But Cas wanted space, so Dean would give him exactly that. Vowing not to be the first to contact the other.

~*~

His resolution broke the very next day and ever so often, he sent a message. The last long after midnight...

~*~

On Tuesday morning, Dean already regretted his messages. They had sounded so damn needy - what if something like that had been the reason for Cas to draw back in the first place? What if he had become aware of Dean’s feelings and had now decided it was time to move on?

Oh God, had he maybe already thrown out the burner phone? Was that the reason he had not answered him at all?

Dean was hardly able to concentrate on his work. It became so bad that shortly before lunch, Garth kicked him out of the shop, telling him to get some rest because he was obviously coming down with something. After reassuring Garth that he did not need to call his wife so she could cook some broth for him, Dean gave in and went upstairs. Bypassing his apartment, he instead made his way up to his garden.

He sat there well into the afternoon, staring at the horizon and not seeing anything except for blue eyes and a startling smile.

At some point, Dean’s feelings had gone numb. He had known this day would come eventually. True, Cas’ words the morning after their night together had given him unreasonable hope and maybe he should be angry because of that.

But he could not find it in him to do that.

Instead, he was thankful for the wonderful time he had had with him. It had been a gift - and while he knew it would take some time, he also knew that eventually, Cas’ birthmark would fade again. His love for him would become a bittersweet memory, just like their time together. He would find a quote to have stitched into his chest and then his heart would learn to grow again. To beat without Castiel.

He had been there before, he could do it again.

Reaching for his phone, Dean called Cas’ number. After five rings, it went to the mailbox and a generic voice message. Of course. Why bother personalizing it when the phone would be thrown out again a few weeks later anyway.

When the beep came, Dean was ready.

“Hey, Cas. Sorry for contacting you again - I promise it will be the last time.” He was glad there were no emotions in his voice. Somehow, he was able to say the words without letting them break him. “I just wanted to let you know… these past few weeks meant a lot to me. Your friendship… meant a lot.” 

Well, scratch the part about no emotions in his voice. Pausing for a moment to keep his control, Dean went on after a deep breath. 

“ _You_ mean a lot to me. I won’t say I understand your decision to just disappear on me like that - but I will respect it, I promise. I’ll take the hint and leave you alone. And please don’t worry about the media - they won’t get a word out of me.” 

Taking another shaky breath, Dean sorted his thoughts, making sure he had said everything he had needed to say.

“I wish nothing but the best for you, Castiel James… or whatever your real name is,” he added with a soft smile and a barely audible huff of laughter. Curious how quickly inside jokes could turn into a bittersweet memory as well.

“And whatever it is I did to hurt you - please know I never meant for it to happen. Because I could never wish any hurt upon you. The way you looked, Cas… it broke my heart. I truly _am_ sorry.”

This was it. He had said it all. Pausing one last time, letting a single tear run down his cheek, Dean closed his eyes as he brought the call to an end.

“Take care of you, Cas. Goodbye.”

~*~*~*~

“ _... Take care of you, Cas. Goodbye._ ”

Cas wiped at a stray tear and once again hit the button to repeat the message.

“ _Hey, Cas. Sorry for contacting you again - I promise it will be the last time._ ”

A fresh wave of silent tears spilled over and Cas let his head fall back against the bed. He closed his eyes as Dean’s voice once again filled the room.

So this was what heartache felt like. This was what people felt like when they pulled out the ice cream and listened to old songs that reminded them of the other person. Not that Cas had done either of those, no. But he was pretty sure sitting on the floor in a bedroom and listening to voice messages over and over again was not that far off.

“ _... Goodbye._ ”

Opening his eyes, Cas checked his phone to let the message play once more.

“ _Hey, Cas._ ”

Before he could close his eyes again, Cas caught movement at his bedroom door and for a wild, crazy second, he hoped it would be Dean.

Rowena was there, sending a concerned look in his direction.

“Whatcha doin here?” Cas croaked out, his voice rough from his own pity party. “Thought it’s your week off as well.”

“Oh, darling. A manager has never truly any time off,” Rowena explained, her gaze softening further as she made her way over to him. “Especially not one who cares about their charge.”

Cas didn’t reply - he did not know how to. Though he must have looked truly bad because next thing he knew, Rowena was lowering herself to sit by his side. With the loving touch of a mother, she gently brushed through his hair, carefully guiding his head to her shoulder.

The tender gesture had him shed a few more silent tears, and when the last of Dean’s message reverberated around the room, Cas curled into Rowena’s warmth.

“Now, there, there, darling,” Rowena began in a soothing whisper, hand caressing his head. “It’ll be alright. I’m here for you. Now, tell me what happened.”

His words came out clipped at first, breathy and rough. But he got it all out, and when he was done, Rowena hugged him even closer.

“Oh, darling! I’m so sorry you had to find out this way. After Friday night - well, I was so sure you had seen the mark already.”

Slowly, so very slowly, her words filtered through Cas’ foggy mind. He lifted his head, leaning away far enough to have a clear view at her.

“You… _you knew_?”

“Oh, darling, of course I did,” she replied with an air of annoyance that he would even have to ask. “You forget that I searched his name _before_ his friend turned all his accounts into Fort Knox. I have seen pictures of him, so yes, I knew.”

“And you didn’t think to _tell me_?” Cas exclaimed, a wave of betrayal washing over him. “How could you?”

“I could because I didn’t want for this to cloud your judgment.”

He stared at her for a moment, trying to make sense of her words.

No such luck.

“ _What_?”

Rowena took a deep breath, looking not the least bit ashamed of her betrayal.

“Castiel, darling. There are a million people out there who carry your birthmark. And not all of them are bad people.”

“Of course not, I didn’t say that.”

“But you _act_ like it,” Rowena fired back. “Every time you meet someone who carries your birthmark before you got to know him, you… you inevitably pull away from them. You don’t always cut ties, no. But you close yourself off and build a wall around your heart. I've seen it countless times.”

Cas looked away, not able to meet her gaze anymore. Rowena was right, of course. She always was. But that was no excuse for what she had neglected to tell him.

“So you wanted me to first fall in love with him and _then_ find out?”

It was apparent that his choice of words gave her pause, her gaze searching his face. But she did not question it. Instead, she answered his question.

“What I wanted for you was to get to know him. Without any restraint or prejudices. I wanted you to see the person he really is before you see your mark on his skin.”

“Well, you got your wish, are you happy now?” Cas fired back, the new wave of tears fueled by anger. “I got to know him and I got to fall in love. I finally got the first mark on my skin,” he added in anger, pulling up his shirt. “Are you happy _now_? Did your plan work? Is that what you wanted? For me to know what love feels like, only to be betrayed like this? By _you_? Did you want me to find out what heartbreak feels like as well? Because congratulations, you got your wish!”

Cas’ voice had grown louder and louder with each accusation he threw at Rowena. Meanwhile, the Queen of Hell sat there, calm as ever. A rock in the face of a storm.

When his words ran out, she lifted a single eyebrow.

“Are we quite finished with our temper tantrum?”

He wanted to strangle her.

But something about her calm posture; something about her rather normal reaction to all this… it calmed him down, as it usually did. All of a sudden, he deflated, all anger and frustration, all his air - simply gone.

Nodding, he collapsed into himself.

Right away, Rowena gathered him in her arms again.

“Now, you listen to me, darling! I might not always tell you what all I do when researching a person - but you know it’s thorough. And you know you can trust me. Knowing now that I knew about the mark - do you _honestly_ think I would have let you run into an open knife like that? Do you honestly think I would not have stopped this if there had been anything to worry about?”

Taking in her words, Cas shook his head. Of course she would not have done that to him.

“Not every person you meet is another Cole. And you said so yourself, Dean loves easily. Can you blame him for falling in love with the persona you show the world before he got to know the real you? Because let me tell you, I work hard so the media shows you as a lovable person.”

That pulled a watery chuckle from Cas. Leaning back up again, he wiped his eyes once more - already tender and burning from all the crying.

Smoothing back his unruly hair, Rowena gave him a tender smile.

“There we go, that’s much better. You’re not a pretty crier, let me tell you.”

Rolling his eyes, he playfully batted her hand away. With a sigh, he let his head fall back against the bed.

“What do I do now? Dean ended the contact with me.”

“He did no such thing!” Rowena told him sternly. “Don’t tell me you have been listening to this message on repeat for over an hour now, and you haven’t got the meaning!”

“What-”

“All he’s saying is that _he_ won’t reach out to you anymore - so he doesn’t bother you. He thinks you want space, so all he’s saying is that he respects that and will wait until you make the first move. If you wish to see him again.”

“Oh…”

Now that she said it… yeah, that was actually exactly what Dean had been telling him. Cas had been too focused on the huge _goodbye_ this all had spelled out, that he had not concentrated on the bigger picture here.

“Yes, _oh_ ,” Rowena echoed. “Now, what is it you’re planning to do?”

Thinking about it, Cas knew there was only one thing he _could_ do and determined to do exactly that, Cas jumped up. “I’m gonna go over there. Talk to Dean. I - God, I put him through so much pain, I need to explain this. And I want answers. He could have told me, be honest with me… Yes, we definitely need to talk.”

“Good,” Rowena replied, smiling up at him. “But maybe take a shower first, darling." Her nose crinkled delicately, “You _reek_.”

~*~

Despite his bravado when he had made the decision to go and talk to Dean, Cas’ knees were shaky as he made his way up the stairs. He had waited in front of the entrance door for a short while, unsure of what to say when he rang the bell and Dean would ask through the intercom who was there this late in the evening. What if he wouldn’t let him upstairs? Before Cas had made up his mind, the door had opened and a couple had stumbled out, so immersed in each other, they did not notice Cas slipping inside the building before the door closed again.

His nerves were no better now that he was standing in front of Dean’s door. He had never been here but thankfully, Dean had pointed out the door to him on one of their ways up and down to and from the rooftop garden.

What if Dean wasn’t home?

Pushing away all his doubt, Cas took a last deep breath and then knocked against the wooden door.

There was movement somewhere inside the loft and after a long pause, footsteps drew closer. They stopped in front of the door and after a short pause, the door finally opened. 

Revealing a rather disheveled, tired-looking Dean.

Cas’ heart hurt as he took in Dean’s appearance. The hunch of Dean’s shoulders; the red-rimmed eyes; the general air of sadness.

He had done this to him. Reasons or not - he had done this.

“Cas.”

His name tumbled from Dean’s lips in wonder, as if he was the last person Dean would have suspected to stop by.

It took Cas all of three heartbeats to strengthen his resolve. He had to apologize. He had to make this okay again.

“Hello, Dean,” he finally breathed out, clearing his throat to get his voice to work again. “May I come in?”

It seemed as if Dean was nodding before his head had even completely taken in the question. But when Cas tilted his head in question, Dean hastened to step back, holding the door open.

“Sure, yes, of course. Sorry, yeah, come in.”

Cas heard the door close behind him and a moment later, Dean stepped past, leading the way - although there wasn’t really anywhere to lead, the loft designed with a completely open floor plan. With a few steps, they were already in the living room.

Dean seemed to realize this himself a moment later, stopping and turning towards Cas again instead. 

“You, ehm, you want something to drink?”

“No,” Cas replied all too quickly, nearly interrupting Dean. God, this was awkward.

In fact, this was the first time he could ever remember with Dean that there was any awkwardness between them and… he needed to make that stop.

“No,” he repeated once more, this time much calmer. “I came here to apologize.”

“There is nothing-”

“No, there is,” Cas interrupted. “There is. I shouldn’t have run away like I did. And I shouldn’t have ignored you. I’m sorry for that.”

Dean nodded but didn’t speak, gaze focused on his feet rather than Cas. So Cas went on.

“You were right- In a way, something _did_ happen while we were at Sam’s. Until then, everything was perfect and… I really _did_ want to talk about us that night. I still do.”

At that, Dean’s head came up, a hopeful glint in his eyes before he guarded them again.

“What happened?”

“There is this shelf at Sam’s house, with a lot of pictures and I know I shouldn’t have snooped… but I did and…”

While he spoke, he could see Dean’s mind racing, probably trying to grasp the deeper meaning of Cas’ words. He could see the moment it all fell in place for him. Closing his eyes, Dean slowly breathed out. 

“The picture at the beach.”

Cas nodded when Dean looked back at him.

“Yeah.”

“Cas, I’m… I’m _so_ sorry. I know I should… I probably should have told you-”

“Why didn’t you?” Cas hated how small his voice sounded - but at least it wasn’t accusing. He didn’t want to cause Dean any further pain.

Dean shrugged his shoulders, looking so helpless. Cas gave him the time he needed to find the right words.

“I didn’t want it to become awkward between us,” he finally explained. “After what you had told me about Cole… and some other fans as well and… At first, I didn’t want you to see me as one of those fans. Much less as a second Cole. And then… the more we got to know each other - the more we became friends…” Dean shrugged his shoulders again, crossing his arms over his chest - as if to protect himself. “There just never was the right moment. I mean, how to bring that topic up again? ‘Hey, Cas, remember when you told me about that guy you counted as your friend but who turned out to be a nutjob that tried to control your life, stalked you, and had been crazy over you for years? Yeah? Well, don’t freak, but I also have your mark on my chest, cool, eh?’”

Dean took a deep breath after that imitation of himself, brushing a hand over his face before resuming his hunched position. 

“I don’t think that would have gone over very well.”

“No, you’re probably right,” Cas agreed. His fingers itched and he longed to be able to reach out to Dean. Smooth those deep lines of worry and sorrow out of his face. Pull his hands away from where they tucked into his own sides, his arms still forming a shield in front of his chest.

“Besides,” Dean went on, surprising Cas. “I never planned for you to find out. I… as I said, I didn’t want this to get awkward between us. I know you don’t feel this way and I know I can live with that. I value your friendship, Cas. I value it too much to give it up over- over my feelings. But… I wasn’t sure if you could ignore it, so… I choose to stay silent. For now.”

Cas took it all in. He was amazed by how Dean’s explanation calmed him even further. Turning enough so he could lean against the back of the couch, Cas took a deep breath before he started his own explanation.

“What you need to know about me, Dean, is… Cole really fucked me up.” Looking up, he searched for Dean’s gaze, seeking comfort in those green, warm eyes. “Not physically, but mentally. The public only knows a fraction of what all he did and even you I didn’t tell everything. Mostly because I don’t wanna talk about it anymore, but also because I have worked through most of it over the years. But in the beginning… For months, I wouldn’t talk to people I had met by chance, always suspecting them to have instigated it, just like Cole had. I wouldn’t touch my phone, letting Rowena handle it all. It got to the point where I thought about quitting my acting career, just so I could lead a quiet life again. A life where I wouldn’t run into a psycho like Cole.”

“What changed your mind?” Dean questioned when Cas had fallen silent for a few moments.

Looking back at Dean, Cas shrugged.

“Nothing in particular. Rowena sent me to a psychiatrist for a while and I worked through my panic attacks and the depressions. Cain - that’s my psychiatrist - went so far as to call it a mild form of PTSD.”

“Fuck, Cas-”

“No, it’s okay,” Cas reassured right away. The last thing he wanted was for Dean to feel bad for triggering him when he could not have known. “I’m nowhere near that anymore and it’s been a long time since then. You had no idea, so please don’t blame yourself. Just… I hope you can understand why I reacted as I did. Seeing my mark on your chest… knowing how similar our first meeting had been to what had happened with Cole…”

Cas shook his head, searching for the right words.

“The rational side in me _knew_ that it was _nothing_ like that. I knew- I _know_ you’re a wonderful human being and that you would never do anything to hurt me. But that dark side in me? That dark side reared its ugly head and told me that it had happened all over again.”

“You don’t believe-”

“Not even for a second, no. No, Dean, absolutely not. And I had actually planned to ask you about it. To have a normal conversation. But… when we got here - I couldn’t find the words. I could feel a panic attack coming and… I just knew that, if I would talk to you in that moment, I would lash out and accuse you of things you didn’t deserve.

“So I left. I wanted to call you on Sunday, but all I could do was lie in bed and not think about anything. I know it’s not easy to understand for a person who has never had to deal with mental illnesses -”

“No, I understand. I…” Dean took a deep breath. “I know a thing or two about it. You don’t have to explain.”

Cas nodded, grateful that he did not have to go into detail.

“So, yeah… it took your voicemail and Rowena kicking some sense into me to get out of this darkness.”

There was a prolonged silence after that and in the end, it was Dean who broke it.

“Thank you, Cas. For being so open with me.” 

When their gazes met again, Cas saw all the warmth in Dean’s green eyes. He wanted to get closer, look into those eyes again, and forget the past sixty or so hours.

“Of course,” he breathed out. “You deserved to know. And, well. I feel comfortable telling you my secrets.”

Dean only nodded at that, though Cas could see the hint of a smile on his lips before his face turned towards his feet again. Not looking at him, he spoke again.

“So, you’re okay with this?”

“What do you mean?” Cas asked, confused.

“Ehm… me having- having feelings. For you, I mean.”

As if it had never been there, all the darkness Cas had carried around with him these past few days fell away from him. It was crazy - after all, he had hoped that Dean’s crush had turned into real feelings. Had suspected it even.

Hearing it, though. Hearing Dean say it, admit it.

Confirm it.

Cas’ heart was beating faster and he knew he was about to go crazy if he wouldn’t be back in Dean’s arms very soon.

For now, though, he himself found his eyes lowered to the floor, not able to look at Dean for a moment. The warmth in his cheek told him that he was blushing furiously, though he couldn’t contain his smile.

“Yeah,” he began, his voice giving out from all those emotions. Clearing his throat, he restarted. “Yeah, more than okay.”

Looking up, he found Dean staring back at him, his brows furrowed in confusion.

And he knew that this was the moment.

“Because I have feelings for you too, Dean Winchester.”

Dean’s eyes widened comically and when he didn’t react any further, Cas went on.

“I- I love you, Dean. I’m _in love_ with you.”

It had seemed impossible, but Dean’s eyes grew even wider, his reaction pulling a chuckle from Cas.

“And it’s actually as you described it. One moment I thought we were just friends and then… the next moment I looked into the mirror and…”

When he lifted his shirt, Dean gasped. Cas’ action seemed to have pulled him out of his stupor as he stepped closer, his eyes never leaving the revealed skin and the birthmark there, shimmering brightly, intense, vibrant with colors.

As Dean’s fingertips brushed softly over the exposed skin, Cas sucked in a lungful of air, surprised by the move, the sudden contact sending sparks through his whole body. Dean was so close, his heat was pulling at Cas, enticing him to lean in. When their gazes met this time, Dean’s was full of wonder and heat and…

Love.

There was hardly any space left between them, all Cas had to do was lean in and his lips finally brushed over Dean’s again, so soft and pliant and sweet. Right away, Dean’s lips moved with his, like a dance they had done a hundred times, though it had not nearly been that often yet. Sadly. Cas vowed to reach that number within the next few hours, surpassing it by tomorrow, and then to never stop again.

Dean’s hand was lingering on his skin, caressing the mark, while the other dug into his hair, keeping Cas’ head in place. As if he was planning to pull away. _Ha! Certainly not._

No, he was exactly where he was meant to be.

Leaning their foreheads together, Dean broke their kiss momentarily, his hand in Cas’ hair, preventing him from leaning back in again, pulling a whine from his lips that made Dean laugh lowly, husky and rough.

“Cas, I need to know… where does this leave us?”

Huh, apparently, romcoms painted a wrong picture about finding one’s true love. It always seemed as if kissing was all it took to find the happy ending. Cas smiled and shook his head against his own stupid thoughts, softly rubbing Dean’s forehead in the process.

If Dean needed to hear it, then Cas would gladly tell him as often as he needed to.

“I love you, Dean. And if you’re willing to, I would love nothing more than to explore this further. I would love to be by your side and to call you my boyfriend. I know it will be a lot I’ll have to ask of you. You would have to handle my fans and my fame and my public life but - I love you, and -”

“Cas?”

“Mh?”

“You had me at the first ‘ _I love you’_.”

When their lips met again, Cas downright melted against Dean’s lean body. Tangling his arms over those broad shoulders, he pulled himself impossibly closer, there was too much air between them.

And too many clothes.

As if reading his mind, Dean’s hand left Cas’ mark just long enough to brush his shirt further up. Breaking the kiss only long enough to quickly pull the shirt over his head, Cas could hear Dean chuckling over his impatience.

He shut him up with his lips as soon as his head was free again.

Getting rid of Dean’s overshirt first, Cas took his sweet time to let his hands wander under the loose shirt, caressing Dean’s back as he slowly lifted the garment. He could feel the goosebumps forming on Dean’s skin, a shiver shaking him.

Once the piece of clothing was gone, Dean leaned back in right away - but Cas’ attention was momentarily distracted.

Drawn to Dean’s chest rather than his lips.

He had only ever seen it as more or less intense shadows so far. Had seen it in varying sizes and nuances. But never - _never_ \- had he seen his own birthmark in such clarity and intensity. It was as if it was shimmering, every spectrum of greens and blues and purples he knew from his own wrist; every feather and every stroke; it was all visible on Dean’s chest.

Not to speak of the fact that it outshone any other mark that was brushed over Dean’s body.

Cas’ looked up at Dean in wonder, amazed and a little overwhelmed by all the love radiating from this wonderful man - who gave him a somewhat bashful smile now.

“What can I say… I’ve had a crush on you for years and when we met and I got to know you - the real you - there was never a chance for me _not_ to fall madly in love with you.”

Like two magnets, they drew closer again, as Dean whispered, “And now, Cas, I love you more than I have ever loved before. More than I will ever love anyone else again. I love you, Cas. I love you so damn much.”

Cas was hardly able to decide what he desired more, listening to Dean tell him that he loved him over and over again - or claim those wonderful lips in another kiss.

His latter need won out and as their kiss resumed, it was so much more heated. They gravitated against each other, Cas pulling Dean close and Dean pushing against Cas until he found his ass pressed against the back of the couch again, leaving him no more room to back up. 

Not that he wanted any. 

Widening his stance, he pulled Dean closer yet and when their hardening cocks pressed against each other, they both moaned in pleasure, Cas seeking more friction yet as he rolled his hips up. He was just thinking about continuing this elsewhere, when he felt Dean’s hands at the back of his thighs and his ass. Following the guidance of those hands, he lifted his legs, momentarily resting his weight on the couch as he wound them around Dean’s hips. A second later, he was lifted up, Dean effortlessly carrying him away from the living room without even breaking the kiss.

If he had been able to speak, he would have told Dean how hot this was - but that would have required removing his lips from Dean and that was not going to happen anytime soon. Not even when he was rested on a plush and comfortable bed, Dean hovering above him.

It was a long time before Dean’s lips left his, moving down along his throat and over his collarbone and his chest. As he continued his way downwards, a content sigh left Cas and with closed eyes, he enjoyed all that Dean was giving him. Especially the extra attention for the birthmark on his hip while Dean was busy opening Cas’ pants.

Dean broke away from Cas only long enough to get rid of his shoes and socks, pants and boxer shorts, and to strip away the rest of his own clothes. Crawling back onto the bed, he left a trail of kisses, all the way from Cas’ thigh and over his hips and chest, back to his mouth. By the time their lips came together again, Cas was positively debauched and panting and so, so needy for this wonderful man.

They never broke their kiss as Dean reached over and drew lube from a drawer in the bedside cabinet. 

It did not break while Dean opened him up, Cas’ hands moving over what parts of Dean he could reach as he slowly moved his fingers.

They were still kissing when Dean finally sank into him, Cas’ groan muffled by Dean’s lips on his, the sounds swallowed with every stroke of Dean’s tongue.

As Dean softly thrust in and out of him, their kisses followed their very own rhythm, soft and lustful, full of fire and love.

They were breathing the same air, their lips softly brushing as they both came together, Dean bringing them over the edge with nothing more but his gentle, rolling thrusts.

Their kisses grew languid the longer they lay in their hazy aftermath, both too comfortable to let go of the other, relishing the closeness and warmth. No words were needed as they exchanged tender smiles, gentle kisses, and long loving looks.

It wasn’t until the sunset covered them in a soft sheen of reddish light that Dean moved to get a washcloth and some water for both of them. Clean and nourished, Cas pulled his, _his,_ man back into bed, pushing him into the bedding to rest his head on his chest. Sighing in contentment, he closed his eyes, listening to Dean’s heartbeat.

“I love you,” he whispered, as he sensed sleep drawing closer.

Dean’s lips pressed against his hair, leaving a kiss there before Cas could hear his sleepy reply.

“I love you too.” 

~*~*~*~

Since the shop was well taken care of, Dean had no qualms sleeping in the next morning. He was slowly pulled from the land of dreams in a similar fashion than a few mornings ago; by soft fingers brushing over his skin, following the lines and edges of the marks covering it.

This time, however, his reaction was the opposite. Instead of laying motionless and pretending to sleep, Dean let the usual urge to stretch run through him, using the movement to sneak his arms around Cas’ torso to pull him closer to his chest.

He could hear Cas’ amused huffs and when he finally opened his eyes, he was met by blue ones that held so much love, Dean was hardly able to rein in his feelings. He wanted to pull Cas in and kiss him senseless. Wanted to once again kiss him for hours while they made sweet love and then happily fall asleep together.

But he also wanted to lay here and watch him, for hours on end.

Lifting his hand, he gently caressed Cas’ cheek and let his hand wander into the mess of his hair, brushing an unruly strand away. Cupping his head as Cas leaned against his hand, they gazed at each other for a while, letting their eyes speak of all the love and desire between them.

Soon, Cas’ fingertips started their lazy pattern across Dean’s skin again, his eyes following them while Dean’s never strayed from Cas’ face. If it was because he never wanted to take his eyes off of him again or because he wanted to see Cas’ reaction to his marks, he could not tell.

“Most of these are really beautiful,” Cas whispered, his voice hoarse this early in the morning.

Dean nodded in agreement. “Most of the people I have loved were beautiful humans - and I mean that inside and out.”

“These tattooed quotes… why do only some marks have them?”

“Cause not all the marks on my body belong to people I actually have a history with. Yours would have stayed without a quote as well, had I never met you.”

That brought him back Cas’ attention, his eyes wide.

“You mean… mine will get a quote as well?”

“Probably,” Dean replied with a soft smile, letting his fingers draw soothing circles into Cas’ skull. The movement seemed to momentarily draw Cas’ attention away, his eyes flickering shut and a soft moan escaping his gorgeous lips.

The distraction did not hold for long, though.

“I was under the impression you only tattoo a quote after the relationship has ended. At least, that’s the vibe I got from these.”

“Been reading my body, eh?” 

When a beautiful blush covered Cas’ nose, Dean chuckled and pulled him closer to press a soft kiss to the tip of it.

“It’s alright, Cas. I have no problem with that. And yeah, you’re right, that’s what I normally did. Getting a quote tattooed to a mark… it was like closing a book, you know? Or like finishing another chapter of my life.”

“Giving it a title, so to speak.”

“Exactly. It helped me find closure, expressing my feelings for that person in one last, perfect quote - perfect to describe them or the relationship we had. Etching it on my skin has helped my heart heal in the past.”

“So… why do you think _my mark_ will get one as well one day?”

Rolling them over and pressing Cas into the bedding, Dean did not care about morning breath or their itchy stubble as he kissed him breathless. Only when they came up for air again did he rest his forehead against Cas’, closing his eyes as he waited for both their breathing to slow down and for his wildly beating heart to find it’s rhythm again.

“Because, Cas… some chapters in life never end and they deserve to get a title more than any other chapters ever did.”

~*~

After a hearty breakfast and another mind-blowing round between the sheets, the two of them once again found themselves lying in bed. There were a few things to discuss - like the date they had officially started dating. Deciding to ignore the pains they had both suffered these past few days, May 1st became their official anniversary date. No one needed to know that it was because it was the first night they spent together.

There was also the matter of the public - something Dean assured Cas he would let him and Rowena handle how they saw fit. It was Cas’ career after all. So whenever and wherever they thought it was best to let the public know, Dean would go along with it. Cas assured him that they would have bodyguards hired for him and his shop for the first weeks, to keep away any unwanted press or worse yet, any of the bats, thinking they could attack Dean for “stealing away” _their_ Castiel. It was creepy that they had to do this but Cas would rather be safe than sorry.

As they were talking, Cas followed what seemed to quickly become his new favorite pastime. His fingers wandered over the skin, sometimes leaving goosebumps in their trail.

“Did anyone of these ever break your heart?”

The question was asked after a long time of silence between them. However, it did not surprise Dean, and he nodded.

“Yeah, two of them.”

Sitting up, he turned so Cas could see the backside of his shoulder.

“I think you’ve seen this one the other morning already.”

“ _A broken heart is just the growing pains necessary so that you can love more completely when the real thing comes along. By J. S. B. Morse,_ ” Cas read out loud while tracing the lines of the letters. “I had wondered if maybe this came from a heartbreak.”

“It does,” Dean replied, resting back against the headboard. “Cassie was my big highschool love story - the quarterback and the cheerleader, the typical cliché.” Cas joined in with his chuckling. “We had plans for our future, young and naive as we were.”

“What happened?”

Dean shrugged his shoulder. “Her father didn’t approve and that was the end of us. She went to Havard and I stayed here in San Francisco.”

“Have you ever met her again?”

“Oh, yeah, she moved back after university. She’s a successful reporter now and her husband’s a pretty decent dude. They have three lovely kids.”

“That sounds like you’re still in contact with her.”

“We are, yes. I wouldn’t say we’re friends, but more… friendly acquaintances. We’ll run into each other from time to time and then use the chance to catch up, but it’s no friendship where you meet each other weekly, you know?” Checking Cas for any signs of discomfort about this news, Dean was happy to find no such thing. So he had no qualms to continue. “I think the quote I choose for her fits so perfectly since in some ways, my love for her and the broken heart taught me that you can survive such things and then eventually, fall in love again.”

“So she did not break you.”

“No, not at all,” Dean replied with a soft smile. It turned sour a moment later. “No, that job was done by someone else.”

Lifting the blanket away, Dean revealed his left calf.

“My only mark with two quotes.”

“Why?” Cas questioned right away and leaned down to get a better look.

Dean turned his leg to give him better excess. “Read it, you’ll see.”

Once again, Cas read the quotes out loud.

“ _Long after I’ve given up, my heart still searches for you without my permission. By Rudy Francisco.”_

Taking Dean’s leg in hand, he turned it further, probably so he could get a clearer view of the second quote. 

_“This time I wouldn't forget him, because I couldn't ever forgive him - for breaking my heart twice. By James Patterson._ Oh, Dean,” Cas breathed out, staring at him with sorrow in those impressive blue eyes.

Dean shrugged his shoulders. 

“I should have known better, but Leo had this way about him, able to draw people back in all the time. When we first met, I thought it would be nothing more than a summer fling. But then he decided to ‘set root’ in San Francisco and I truly feel in love with him. Shortly after, he just left. No goodbye, no note, no nothing. Wouldn’t even answer my texts or my calls. After a month, I decided to face reality. I got the first quote, read one good book after another, and ended that chapter of my life.”

“But he came back,” Cas breathed out, obviously grasping where this story was heading.

Dean nodded. “He did. Sweet-talked his way back into my life and for a short while, everything was good again. Until I found him with two other guys in bed.”

“Oh wow, _Dean_!”

“Yep… he even asked me to join them.”

“He did not!” Cas gasped. “What an ass!”

“I mean, my mark on his skin was always a somewhat deep shade - but that didn’t seem to be reason enough for him to stay faithful.”

“Deep mark or not,” Cas bit out, his nails actually digging into Dean’s calf, “that’s no way to treat _any_ person. Much less someone you love - even _I_ know that and I have never _been_ in love before.”

“Yeah, you know that because you’re a good soul,” Dean replied, reaching for Cas, who leaned back up and into his waiting arm, his fingernails leaving little imprints in Dean’s skin, but he did not mention it. 

As Cas melted against his side, a hand wandering to his chest to rest on the beautiful wings, Dean pulled him closer yet, nestling his nose in Cas’ hair.

“Don’t think about it anymore. I’m okay with it now.”

“I’m just… well, I guess I’m amazed the mark is still there. Even if it’s washed out and barely recognizable, it’s... _there_.”

“Not because I still love him, believe me,” Dean reassured. “But because at some point in time, he was important to me. He’s part of who I am today. He’s the reason my heart was closed for a long time and while that might not be a good thing, it helped me grow in some ways. I know that and so do my feelings. The mark is more like… a memory, you know? Besides… I think I could never hate a person I once loved, no matter how much they hurt me.”

When Cas leaned up again, Dean let him, looking back as Cas’ gaze wandered over his face.

“I think I’ve said it before,” Cas breathed out after a while. “But you, Dean Winchester, are a truly amazing person. I admire you. So much.”

With a smile, Dean accepted the kiss Cas planted on his lips before he began to trail them along his neck and down to his chest. The feeling of Cas’ nipping and kissing, sucking and licking all over his skin made him feel so thrillingly content that it took him a while to realize his boyfriend was mapping out every single mark, claiming the skin with his own lips, leaving love bites here and wet kisses there, with no real pattern or destination.

Dean was sure he would soon enough melt into his bed, so completely consumed by the wonderful feeling. When Cas nudged his side, he willingly rolled over onto his stomach, so Cas could continue his trails of kisses and nips on his back as well. He was sure he had never been as relaxed and on fire at the same time as he was when Cas moved back up, laying his body flush against Dean’s back, to move his lips to Dean’s ear.

“I see I’m not the only celebrity you have a crush on.”

Dean’s eyes snapped open.

Oh _shit_! He had completely forgotten - 

“But I guess I can forgive you for finding Chris Evan’s mark on your thigh.”

“I mean,” Dean breathed out, unable to move with Cas’ weight on him, “he _is_ Captain America!”

“And I’m an Angel of the Lord, I bet that trumps that.”

Dean’s laughter rumbled out of him so forcefully, Cas slid off him. He joined into his laughter as Dean pulled him back under his body, kissing him between their chuckles.

“You, Castiel James,” Dean told him, gazing deeply into his eyes. “You trump everything and everyone. No matter the roles you play.” 

Grinning up at him, Cas kissed the tip of his nose before replying. “I didn’t know you could be such a sap.” 

“Oh, you haven’t seen the half of it, I can promise you that,” he declared, pressing a kiss to those wonderfully soft and kiss-swollen lips.

When they came up for air again, there was an amused glint in Cas’ eyes as he seemed to simply take him in, gaze wandering all over Dean’s face, a loving smile on his lips.

Dean wanted to stay quiet and let him - but the impatience and curiosity won out. “What?” 

“It’s Novak.”

“Huh?”

“My real name,” Cas clarified. “It’s Novak.”

Dean’s eyes went wide as he took in that information, needing a moment to absorb it.

“So… Castiel Novak?”

“Castiel Emmanuel Novak, actually - but if I ever hear you mutter that name, there will be hell to pay for you. Understood?”

“Understood,” Dean replied, hardly able to keep the mischief out of his voice. “Castiel _Emmanuel_ Novak,” he added.

Cas narrowed his eyes at Dean, but any complaints he could have uttered were driven away by Dean’s claiming kiss and the superb way he rolled his hips. Grinding down into Cas, he successfully pulled them both back into a world of heat, and lust, and love. 

~*~*~*~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title from Blue, "Without You"


	7. Real Love Will Last Forever

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to the end of this little journey 😊 I hope you liked it so far. If so, enjoy a few glimpses into the future of our boys 😘 - I hope you like the way I designed this...

_ _

_ ~ July 2020 ~ _

> **_~*~ Queen of Hell ~*~_ **
> 
> **_[me, 11.15 am]_ **
> 
> _We’ve reached the resort. So the first pictures could appear soon._
> 
> **_[Queen of Hell, 11.15 am]_ **
> 
> _Thanks for letting me know, darling._
> 
> **_[me, 11.15 am]_ **
> 
> _You ordered me to, remember?_
> 
> **_[Queen of Hell, 11.20 am]_ **
> 
> _What do you think, how much longer until you hit the pool?_
> 
> **_[me, 11.22 am]_ **
> 
> _We’re still debating, but Dean and Sam prefer the beach. The big reveal will most likely happen there._
> 
> **_[Queen of Hell, 11.22 am]_ **
> 
> 👍
> 
> **_[Queen of Hell, 11.24 am]_ **
> 
> _Would you like to read over the finalized official statement?_
> 
> **_[me, 11.24 am]_ **
> 
> _No - I think we discussed it all and you know I trust you._
> 
> **_[Queen of Hell, 11.25 am]_ **
> 
> _Alright, darling. In that case, go and have fun! And say hello to all my boys_ 😘

~*~

# Castiel James in Love!

**Hollywood Sweetheart shows off boyfriend - and his first mark! - during beach trip**

> _The whole world has speculated for months; now it’s finally confirmed. Movie-star Castiel James (36) is off the market! His new boyfriend: the San Francisco bookshop owner, Dean Winchester (35)._
> 
> _First pictures of the couple appeared in early April, while James stayed in San Francisco to finish up his latest movie_ ‘Angel with a Shotgun’ _(coming this December). Sources have confirmed that there was an accidental run-in between them, after which Winchester helped James find his way back to the hotel. They stayed in contact after and soon became friends._
> 
> _Friends with such good chemistry, people speculated right from the start if there might not be more between them. While the official statement until recently had been they were merely “close friends,” the latest pictures now tell another story entirely._
> 
> _They show the two lovebirds during a romantic getaway at the Waterfront Beach Resort, a Hilton Hotel in Huntington Beach, together with Winchester’s brother and brother-in-law, Samuel (31) and Gabriel (39) Winchester. After checking into the penthouse, many sources could soon see the two couples make their way to the beach - where Castiel James finally revealed the secret he had been hiding for a good three months now._
> 
> _A birthmark on his hip!_
> 
> _Pictures taken by other beachgoers reveal a stack of books with a colorful misty swirl. James’ otherwise unblemished skin - for which he is well known - made sure the mark stood out. The intensity with which it is etched into his skin leaves absolutely no doubt that Dean Winchester has genuinely won this actor’s heart._
> 
> _The same is also true for James’ beau. While Winchester’s body is covered in many birthmarks of various shapes, forms, and colors with a variety of clarity, none are as big and as clear, as intense and solidified as the one on his chest that shows the famous angel-wings of Castiel James. Onlookers, as well as some videos that soon appeared online, can confirm that the two lovebirds seemed to have no qualms in finally showing their love to the world._
> 
> _A love that according to close sources started not long after they met._
> 
> _“Castiel James and Dean Winchester have been dating since May 1st,” an official statement by James’ management reads - released shortly after the first pictures appeared online! “But it’s no secret,” the statement continues, “that both have been falling in love for weeks before that date.”_
> 
> _It’s not hard to believe that statement, seeing how the pictures of the two “friends” enjoying their time all around San Francisco had fans and experts speculating alike._
> 
> _Other speculation circulated about the various marks on Dean Winchester’s body. While some fear that he might be a playboy, who won’t stay truthful to Castiel James; others see him as a man who loves deeply. Such as James himself. The press release quotes him as followed:_
> 
> _“Some might see it as a flaw to have crushes on celebrities or to care for your exes or to fall in love so often. To me, though, Dean is flawless! He has the biggest heart and for that, I admire him. I have learned so much from him, about love and life and how to live and enjoy every moment. Dean Winchester has truly changed me, inside and out, and I count myself the luckiest man on earth to know that he loves me as deeply as I love him.”_

~*~*~*~

_ ~ December 2020 ~ _

> **_~*~ Bitch ~*~_ **
> 
> **_[me, 6.08 am]_ **
> 
> _Sammy, I need your help with something - but you can’t tell your husband!_
> 
> **_[Bitch, 6.12 am]_ **
> 
> _Good morning to you too. And I hate keeping secrets from Gabriel, you know that._
> 
> **_[me, 6.13 am]_ **
> 
> _I know, but could you please still do it? This is important._
> 
> **_[Bitch, 6.13 am]_ **
> 
> _Fine, what do you need?_
> 
> **_[me, 6.13 am]_ **
> 
> _I need you to pick something up for me._
> 
> **_[me, 6.13 am]_ **
> 
> _From the jewelry store. The one on Market St_
> 
> **_[Bitch, 6.16 am]_ **
> 
> _Dean, there are like… at least three different jewelry stores on that street!_
> 
> **_[me, 6.16 am]_ **
> 
> _Tiffany’s..._
> 
> **_[Bitch, 6.16 am]_ **
> 
> _Wow, going all out?_ 😉
> 
> **_[Bitch, 6.17 am]_ **
> 
> _Alright, I can swing by later, I guess._
> 
> **_[Bitch, 6.17 am]_ **
> 
> _Wanted to get some Christmas shopping done anyway._
> 
> **_[me, 6.20 am]_ **
> 
> _Awesome! Thank you, Sammy. I owe you, big times._
> 
> **_[me, 6.27 am]_ **
> 
> _Oh, it’s under Campell, by the way._
> 
> **_[Bitch, 6.33 am]_ **
> 
> _WHAT? Why did you use mom’s maiden name?_
> 
> **_[Bitch, 6.38 am]_ **
> 
> _Dean?_
> 
> **_[Bitch, 6.45 am]_ **
> 
> _DEAN! Talk to me or I’m not picking it up._
> 
> **_[me, 6.52 am]_ **
> 
> _You KNOW why, bitch!_
> 
> **_[me, 6.52 am]_ **
> 
> _Same reason I’m asking you to pick it up instead of doing so myself._
> 
> **_[me, 6.53 am]_ **
> 
> _If anyone sees me there or the clerk reads my name and happens to be a fan of Cas’... the media would be all over this._
> 
> **_[Bitch, 7.02 am]_ **
> 
> _Dean, what am I picking up for you?_
> 
> **_[me, 7.08 am]_ **
> 
> _…_
> 
> **_[Bitch, 7.08 am]_ **
> 
> _OH_
> 
> **_[Bitch, 7.08 am]_ **
> 
> _MY_
> 
> **_[Bitch, 7.08 am]_ **
> 
> _GOD!!!!_
> 
> **_[Bitch, 7.08 am]_ **
> 
> 😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱
> 
> **_[me, 7.10 am]_ **
> 
> 🙄🙄🙄 _Don’t be such a drama queen_
> 
> **_[Bitch, 7.12 am]_ **
> 
> 😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱
> 
> **_[Bitch, 7.12 am]_ **
> 
> _I can be a drama queen as much as I want to be!!_
> 
> **_[Bitch, 7.12 am]_ **
> 
> _My brother is finally getting hitched_ 🥳🎉🥳🎉🥳🎉🥳🎉🥳🎉
> 
> **_[me, 7.13 am]_ **
> 
> _Okay, knock it off. He hasn’t said yes yet!_
> 
> **_[Bitch, 7.13 am]_ **
> 
> _Pff, as if there is any doubt he would say anything else!_
> 
> **_[Bitch, 7.14 am]_ **
> 
> _… although he might be sobbing and nodding too much to form any real words_ 🤔
> 
> **_[me, 7.17 am]_ **
> 
> 😑 _Aren’t you confusing him with yourself right now, bitch?_
> 
> **_[Bitch, 7.18 am]_ **
> 
> _Whatever, jerk!_
> 
> **_[me, 7.35 am]_ **
> 
> _So, really? That’s gonna be your only reaction?_
> 
> **_[Bitch, 7.38 am]_ **
> 
> _What else do you want me to say?_
> 
> **_[me, 7.39 am]_ **
> 
> _I don’t know? But I was kinda prepared for a lecture._
> 
> **_[me, 7.39 am]_ **
> 
> _Or something along the lines of “are you sure about this” or “it’s only been a few weeks, Dean, don’t you wanna slow down a bit?”_
> 
> **_[Bitch, 7.41 am]_ **
> 
> _Dean, it’s been seven months!_
> 
> **_[me, 7.42 am]_ **
> 
> 🙄 _I KNOW that!_
> 
> **_[Bitch, 7.42 am]_ **
> 
> _Well, do you WANT me to lecture you?_
> 
> **_[me, 7.42 am]_ **
> 
> _Noooo! But I was prepared for it! I had all these good points and shit…_
> 
> **_[Bitch, 7.43 am]_ **
> 
> _Like what? That he’s the love of your life and you know that won’t change?_
> 
> **_[me, 7.43 am]_ **
> 
> _Yes!_
> 
> **_[Bitch, 7.44 am]_ **
> 
> _Or that you think about him every second of the day and that you know he would never betray you or leave you or hurt you?_
> 
> **_[me, 7.44 am]_ **
> 
> _EXACTLY!_
> 
> **_[Bitch, 7.44 am]_ **
> 
> _Or that you know this is it, that Cas is the One, so why the hell should you wait?_
> 
> **_[me, 7.45 am]_ **
> 
> _YES! To all of this!_
> 
> **_[Bitch, 7.48 am]_ **
> 
> _… well, I guess if you’re gonna bring all these arguments, I have no other choice but to give you my blessing. You have totally convinced me, how could I ever doubt this love or even think about questioning it or tell you you shouldn't do it..._
> 
> **_[me, 7.49 am]_ **
> 
> 😑 _I hate you sometimes_
> 
> **_[Bitch, 7.49 am]_ **
> 
> _Noooooo, you love me!_ 😁

~*~

> **_~*~ Family ~*~_ **
> 
> **_[Gabe, 11.22 am]_ **
> 
> _DEAN’S GONNA POP THE QUESTION!!!_
> 
> **_[me, 11.23 am]_ **
> 
> _What the fuck, SAM!_
> 
> **_[Samsquatch, 11.23 am]_ **
> 
> _GABRIEL!!_
> 
> **_[me, 11.23 am]_ **
> 
> _I *told* you not to tell him yet!!_
> 
> **_[Samsquatch, 11.23 am]_ **
> 
> _I said to keep it to yourself for now!!_
> 
> **_[Her Highness, 11.23 am]_ **
> 
> _OH MY GOOOOOOOOOD!!!_
> 
> **_[Gabe, 11.23 am]_ **
> 
> 😁 _you didn’t actually think I would_
> 
> **_[me, 11.23 am]_ **
> 
> _EXACTLY, you knew he wouldn’t!_
> 
> **_[Her Highness, 11.24 am]_ **
> 
> _Oh my god, oh my god, OH MY GOD!!!_
> 
> **_[me, 11.24 am]_ **
> 
> _Charlie, calm down_ 😅
> 
> **_[Ellen, 11.25 am]_ **
> 
> _Congratulations, Dean! I KNEW you wouldn’t wait too long._
> 
> **_[Jo, 11.25 am]_ **
> 
> _OMG!! Best news EVER - I’m gonna be the maid of honor!!!_
> 
> **_[Her Highness, 11.25 am]_ **
> 
> _You and me BOTH_ 🎉🎉🎉
> 
> **_[me, 11.26 am]_ **
> 
> _GUYS! Come on!!_
> 
> **_[Bobby, 11.26 am]_ **
> 
> _Good job, son! Bout time!_
> 
> **_[Ellen, 11.27 am]_ **
> 
> _Have you picked a ring yet?_
> 
> **_[Jody, 11.27 am]_ **
> 
> _So happy to hear_ 😊
> 
> **_[Rufus, 11.27 am]_ **
> 
> 👍
> 
> **_[me, 11.27 am]_ **
> 
> _Thank you, all - but..._
> 
> **_[me, 11.28 am]_ **
> 
> _Can we please keep it on the down low until I have actually *asked* him?_
> 
> **_[Donna, 11.28 am]_ **
> 
> _Ohhhhh, yaaaaaaay_ 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍 _this is AMAZING!!!!_
> 
> **_[Samsquatch, 11.28 am]_ **
> 
> _I’m really sorry, Dean_ 😥😓
> 
> **_[me, 11.28 am]_ **
> 
> 😑
> 
> **_[Samsquatch, 11.28 am]_ **
> 
> _Also, Ellen, yes he has_ 😊 _I’m gonna pick it up later today. Gonna send pictures._
> 
> **_[me, 11.29 am]_ **
> 
> YOU WILL DO NO SUCH THING!!!
> 
> **_[Jo, 11.30 am]_ **
> 
> _Oh come on, Dean. Let us be happy for you_ 😘 _it’s not every day your brother hooks himself a movie star_ 😉
> 
> **_[me, 11.30 am]_ **
> 
> 🙄 _I swear to God, you guys! I love you all and thanks for all the kind words - but if anyone blabs, NONE of you will be invited!_
> 
> **_[me, 11.30 am]_ **
> 
> _And YES, Gabe, that includes any insinuations as well!_
> 
> **_[Gabe, 11.31 am]_ **
> 
> _I’m innocent_ 😁 _blame Sam, he should have known I wouldn’t be able to keep my mouth shut._
> 
> **_[Ellen, 11.32 am]_ **
> 
> _Dean! Be reasonable. You know none of us would do that._
> 
> **_[Ellen, 11.33 am]_ **
> 
> _But also, Sam, if Dean asks you not to tell something, you don’t tell it! *Especially* not your blabbermouth of a husband!!_
> 
> **_[Samsquatch, 11.33 am]_ **
> 
> _Sorry_ 😓
> 
> _~ Her Highness set the nickname for Gabe to Blabbermouth-of-a-Husband ~_
> 
> **_[Ellen, 11.34 am]_ **
> 
> _And Gabriel, you tell this to another soul and I will make sure Dean carries through with his threat and won’t let you into the wedding - capisce?_
> 
> **_[Blabbermouth-of-a-Husband, 11.35 am]_ **
> 
> _Capisce_ 😓 _sorry_ 🤐
> 
> **_[me, 11.37 am]_ **
> 
> _Thanks, Ellen_ 😘
> 
> **_[Blabbermouth-of-a-Husband, 11.38]_ **
> 
> _Charlie!!!_ 🔪☠️
> 
> **_[Her Highness, 11.40 am]_ **
> 
> _No one cares about it when Dean’s threatening us - but one word from Ellen and even the Trickster shuts up_ 😂😂😂😂😂
> 
> **_[Her Highness, 11.40 am]_ **
> 
> **_[_** _Replying to "Charlie!!_ 🔪☠️ _"]_
> 
> Ding dong, bitch! 😝
> 
> **_[Jo, 11.41 am]_ **
> 
> _That’s cause everybody knows she’ll make good on her threat but Dean wouldn’t_ 😂😂😂
> 
> **_[Donna, 11.42 am]_ **
> 
> _Hate to say it but: true_ 😂😂 _Sorry Dean_ 😘
> 
> **_[Jody, 11.43 am]_ **
> 
> _Agreed_ 😂😂😂 _Dean would never get married without his family._
> 
> **_[Jo, 11.43 am]_ **
> 
> _He’s such a bleeding heart, that’s why_ 😉
> 
> _~ Blabbermouth-of-a-Husband set his nickname to Gabe ~_
> 
> _~ Blabbermouth-of-a-Husband set his nickname to Gabe ~_
> 
> _~ Blabbermouth-of-a-Husband set his nickname to Gabe ~_
> 
> **_[Blabbermouth-of-a-Husband, 11.45]_ **
> 
> @Her Highness, what have you DONE??? WHY CAN'T I CHANGE IT BACK!!!!
> 
> **_[Her Highness, 11.45 am]_ **
> 
> **__ **
> 
> **_[me, 11.47 am]_ **
> 
> _It’s official_ 😑 _I hate you all_
> 
> _~ You have left the chat ~_

~*~

> **_~*~ Queen of Hell ~*~_ **
> 
> **_[me, 2.27 pm]_ **
> 
> _Good morning, Rowena. There's something I need to talk with you about. Can you text me when you have a minute?_
> 
> **_[me, 2.27 pm]_ **
> 
> _Preferably without Cas close by_
> 
> **_[Queen of Hell, 2.32 pm]_ **
> 
> _I have time right now, handsome. What is it?_
> 
> **_[me, 2.33 pm]_ **
> 
> _Okay, so. I don't really know how to ask you this, cause I don't wanna make it sound like I'm asking for permission... but I guess that's kinda what I'm about to do..._
> 
> **_[Queen of Hell, 2.34 pm]_ **
> 
> _Are you finally going to propose to him?_
> 
> **_[me, 2.34 pm]_ **
> 
> _What the heck? Yes, why is no one surprised about that???_
> 
> **_[Queen of Hell, 2.35 pm]_ **
> 
> 🤨🤨 _are you really asking me that, darling?_
> 
> **_[me, 2.38 pm]_ **
> 
> _... no, I guess not_
> 
> **_[Queen of Hell, 2.39 pm]_ **
> 
> _Well, if it's my blessing you're asking for, you have it_
> 
> **_[me, 2.39 pm]_ **
> 
> _I'm not_ 🙄
> 
> **_[me, 2.39 pm]_ **
> 
> _I'm gonna ask him no matter what!_
> 
> **_[me, 2.39 pm]_ **
> 
> _But thanks, I guess_
> 
> **_[me, 2.41 pm]_ **
> 
> _I just wanted to make sure it would be okay for me to do this during the New Year's gala_
> 
> **_[me, 2.42 pm]_ **
> 
> _Or would that be too much of a hassle for you?_
> 
> **_[Queen of Hell, 2.43 pm]_ **
> 
> _Darling, this will be a humongous “hassle” no matter what. So go as big as you want it to be_ 😘
> 
> **_[Queen of Hell, 2.44 pm]_ **
> 
> _But thanks for making sure, I appreciate that a great deal_
> 
> **_[me, 2.45 pm]_ **
> 
> _Awesome, thanks!!_
> 
> **_[Queen of Hell, 2.50 pm]_ **
> 
> _If you want to help me, though, you will give me a statement beforehand, which I can release to the press right after it happens. I'll get one from Castiel as well, but he's professional enough to give me a coherent reply after a few minutes. Not so sure about you, sweetheart._
> 
> **_[me, 2.52 pm]_ **
> 
> _Probably a good idea_
> 
> **_[Queen of Hell, 2.52 pm]_ **
> 
> _Oh, darling, no need for you to be nervous_
> 
> **_[me, 2.54 pm]_ **
> 
> 😳 _I'm not! What makes you say that?_
> 
> **_[Queen of Hell, 2.56 pm]_ **
> 
> _You didn't put up a fight - you only ever do that when you're too nervous to contradict me_ 😂
> 
> **_[me, 3.01 pm]_ **
> 
> 🙄 _whatever_
> 
> **_[Queen of Hell, 3.04 pm]_ **
> 
> _Okay, a few more things. First of all, do you already have a ring?_
> 
> **_[me, 3.06 pm]_ **
> 
> _Yeah, Sam's picking it up for me and I ordered it under my mom's name._
> 
> **_[Queen of Hell, 3.07 pm]_ **
> 
> _Good thinking! I'm gonna make a pro of you before we know it_ 😉
> 
> **_[Queen of Hell, 3.08 pm]_ **
> 
> _Can you tell me the model?_
> 
> **_[me, 3.09 pm]_ **
> 
> _I had it custom made at Tiffany’s. I can send you a picture later._
> 
> **_[Queen of Hell, 3.10 pm]_ **
> 
> _Splendid!_
> 
> **_[Queen of Hell, 3.11 pm]_ **
> 
> _Now, do you plan to have cheaper copies of the ring made? So fans can purchase a replica?_
> 
> **_[me, 3.11 pm]_ **
> 
> _WHAT THE HECK? NO!!_
> 
> **_[Queen of Hell, 3.12 pm]_ **
> 
> _Thought so_
> 
> **_[me, 3.13 pm]_ **
> 
> _Wait, people DO THAT?_
> 
> **_[Queen of Hell, 3.15 pm]_ **
> 
> _Oh, yes, a lot of stars do. It's a surefire income, people will buy things like that as if they are starving and it’s the last loaf of bread on earth._
> 
> **_[me, 3.17 pm]_ **
> 
> _Yeah, well, I'm not proposing to Cas to make money off this or to sell our love! I'm doing it because I love him and I wanna spend the rest of my life with him!!!_
> 
> **_[Queen of Hell, 3.19 pm]_ **
> 
> _And that is EXACTLY what you will tell the media if they ask for it_ 😉
> 
> **_[Queen of Hell, 3.20 pm]_ **
> 
> _Now, shall we go over a few more topics and questions that will likely come up and see how you should react best?_
> 
> **_[me, 3.25 pm]_ **
> 
> _... sure_
> 
> **_[Queen of Hell, 3.26 pm]_ **
> 
> _Your excitement is palpable, darling. Let’s get started._

~*~

> **_~*~ Family ~*~_ **
> 
> _~ Samsquatch has added you to the group ‘Family’ ~_
> 
> **_[Samsquatch, 5.57 pm]_ **
> 
> _~ Attachment loading ~_
> 
> **_[Samsquatch, 5.57 pm]_ **
> 
> _Everyone, I present: THE RING!_
> 
> **_[me, 5.58 pm]_ **
> 
> _Urghh, MAN, come ON!!_
> 
> **_[Jo, 6.01 pm]_ **
> 
> _Oh wooooow!!_
> 
> **_[Donna, 6.01 pm]_ **
> 
> _It’s beautiful!!_
> 
> **_[Ellen, 6.02 pm]_ **
> 
> _Very nice pick, Dean. Cas will certainly like it._
> 
> **_[Her Highness, 6.03 pm]_ **
> 
> _Holy shit, Winchester! Good job_ 😍
> 
> **_[Ellen, 6.03 pm]_ **
> 
> _But, Sam! Again: Dean asked you not to - so you don’t do it._
> 
> **_[Jo, 6.04 pm]_ **
> 
> _Mooooom, leave him alone! We all wanted to see, be thankful he shared._
> 
> **_[Blabbermouth-of-a-Husband, 6.04 pm]_ **
> 
> _@DEAN_ 😁 _you’re back, good. So the betting pools are open and we were wondering if you could give us some hints._
> 
> **_[me, 6.04 pm]_ **
> 
> _WHATT?!!_
> 
> **_[Jody, 6.04 pm]_ **
> 
> 😂 _Gabe, leave the poor man alone._
> 
> **_[Blabbermouth-of-a-Husband, 6.06 pm]_ **
> 
> _Bets right now are 1:2 that you will go big and do it at a gala, contrary to doing it in private but with family - so like Christmas. We just need to know: you're still going to that New Year’s gala with Cas, right?_
> 
> **_[Gabe, 6.06 pm]_ **
> 
> _Also, is Cas very emotional? We were a bit divided on that one. General consensus right now is that he will be touched, but the odds are 3:1 that he'll cry._
> 
> **_[me, 6.07 pm]_ **
> 
> _You’re all CRAZY! Have you been doing *anything* else today?_
> 
> **_[Jo, 6.08 pm]_ **
> 
> _Yes! We’ve also debated if we should bet that you’re going to cry as well, but we all agreed that since it’s a given, no-one would make anything off it_ 😂😂😂
> 
> _~ You have left the chat ~_

~*~

> **_~*~ Cas ~*~_ **
> 
> **_[me, 6.09 pm]_ **
> 
> _I hate my family!!_
> 
> **_[Cas, 6.14 pm]_ **
> 
> _No, you don’t - but what did Gabe do this time?_
> 
> **_[me, 6.15 pm]_ **
> 
> _Gabe's an asshole_ 🙄
> 
> **_[Cas, 6.15 pm]_ **
> 
> _When’s he not_ 😂
> 
> **_[me, 6.16 pm]_ **
> 
> _True_ 🙄
> 
> **_[Cas, 6.16 pm]_ **
> 
> _Well, if it’s any consolation: my family absolutely adores you. Claire won’t stop talking about you_
> 
> **_[Cas, 6.17 pm]_ **
> 
> _I still can’t believe you told her that you’re_ book_hunter_67 _!! You know she’s now planning on going to university in San Fran next year, right?_
> 
> **_[Cas, 6.17 pm]_ **
> 
> _All thanks to you._
> 
> **_[me, 6.18 pm]_ **
> 
> _Hey, I wouldn’t mind having the kiddo around_ 😉
> 
> **_[me, 6.18 pm]_ **
> 
> _Besides, would be cool if Sammy became her professor_ 😂
> 
> **_[Cas, 6.18 pm]_ **
> 
> _True_ 😂
> 
> **_[me, 6.19 pm]_ **
> 
> _By the way, good morning (kinda)_ 😘 _how’s Australia?_
> 
> **_[Cas, 6.20 pm]_ **
> 
> _Too hot_ 😓 _it’s not even noon here and I’m already melting and sweaty. I mean, it’s December, for crying out loud! It’s not supposed to be hot and humid!!_
> 
> **_[Cas, 6.20 pm]_ **
> 
> _But I have to admit, the green tree frog in my bathroom is pretty cute_ 🐸
> 
> **_[me, 6.20 pm]_ **
> 
> _It’s just three more days - and here it’s icy cold, you will love it!_
> 
> **_[me, 6.20 pm]_ **
> 
> _Wait, in your bathroom? Like, it watches you shower?_ 🤨
> 
> **_[Cas, 6.21 pm]_ **
> 
> _I named him Tom, cause he's a peeper_ 😉
> 
> **_[Cas, 6.21 pm]_ **
> 
> _What I’ll love most is being back in your arms soon_ 😘😘😘
> 
> **_[me, 6.21 pm]_ **
> 
> _I miss you too_ 😘😘
> 
> **_[Cas, 6.22 pm]_ **
> 
> _You already upstairs or still in the shop?_
> 
> **_[me, 6.22 pm]_ **
> 
> _I’m already closed for the day, why? What’s up?_
> 
> **_[Cas, 6.22 pm]_ **
> 
> _Well, I don’t have to be on set for another three hours, sooo …_ 😏
> 
> _~ Cas has started a video call ~_

~*~*~*~

_ _

As the countdown began, Castiel James joined in, just like everybody else in the ballroom did. A sudden sense of déjà vu came over him, as he raised his glass at the strike of midnight to yell, “Happy New Year!” and to toast towards the general direction of the room at large.

The similarity to the previous year ended right there.

For as soon as Cas turned his head, he was met by a pair of green eyes, sparkling so bright they rivaled the chandeliers of the ballroom.

“Happy New Year,” Dean repeated, this time only for Cas, before he let his glass clink against his.

Cas was unable to contain his happiness, to rein in his smile, as he leaned into his boyfriend.

“Happy New Year, Dean,” he replied, sharing a soft New Year’s kiss before finally drinking the expensive champagne.

They shared one more smile before people all around them demanded attention in ways of hugs and kisses on the check and best wishes for 2021. Cas let it all happen, his good mood never wavering.

Rowena had been right, he thought, as he took Dean’s hand to pull him closer once the big wave of huggers and kissers had ebbed away. 2020 really _had_ been his year. In more ways than one.

Maybe he should be most thankful for the big movie he had finished.

Maybe he should be most thankful for the role of a lifetime this had landed him, as there were already talks about sequels.

Maybe he should be most thankful for the Oscar nomination everybody was sure he would receive.

Or the money, the fame, the fortune.

And he _was_ thankful for all this. Career wise, there was nothing that could have been better for him than this.

But as he pulled his boyfriend close and felt his soft lips to his temple…

As he turned his head and once more found a loving gaze on himself…

As he leaned in to feel those soft lips on his, forgetting about the world all around…

He knew for sure what he was most grateful for.

And when the kiss ended and Dean looked at him, he knew that his boyfriend thought the same. Together, hand in hand, they went onto the balcony to watch the fireworks go off over the city.

~*~ 

_ ~ January 2021 ~ _

# Castiel James Engaged!

**Movie Star says Yes at midnight**

> _“Absolutely thrilled and ecstatic,” that’s how Castiel James (37) - mega movie star and hottest contender for this year’s Oscars - describes his feelings about his boyfriend, Dean Winchester (35), popping the question during a New Year’s gala in Hollywood. “I had no idea he’d been planning this - but there was no question about my answer. He could have asked me anywhere and at any time - the answer would have always been a resounding; yes.”_
> 
> #####  **_With the New Year’s fireworks as a beautiful background, Dean Winchester drops to one knee and surprises his boyfriend with a very important question._ **
> 
> _The couple has been together since May and made it official during a family beach trip in July. Not a long time, it seems. But Winchester is sure, “I know he’s the one. Why should I wait when I know my love for him won’t change in a year, or ten, or fifty?”_
> 
> _And it seems the man knows his fiancé very well. In an official statement James’ management has released shortly after the proposal, Winchester explains, “Yes, there’s a reason I choose to propose during this gala. Exactly one year ago, Cas made a wish on this very balcony. He wished to meet me - I thought it was fitting.”_
> 
> _[Picture is loading]_
> 
> #####  **_Sealed with a kiss: Castiel James says yes to Dean Winchester._ **
> 
> _A date for the wedding is not yet set, though Hollywood insiders speculate that it will be..._

~*~

_ ~ February 2021 ~ _

#  _“Angel with a Shotgun”_ wins nine Oscars

**Castiel James receives award for Best Actor**

> _[Picture is loading]_
> 
> #####  **_Many reasons to smile: Castiel James with fiancé Dean Winchester and his first Academy Award._ **

~*~

_ ~ May 2021 ~ _

# Better Than in the Movies

**The wedding of the Year: exclusive pictures of husbands Castiel James and Dean Winchester**

> _Only closest friends and family were present when Castiel James and Dean Winchester said ‘I do’ this past Saturday. Exactly one year after they officially began dating, Hollywood's favorite couple has now tied the knot. The two husbands are over the moon, says James’ management._
> 
> #####  **_It’s official: Castiel James and Dean Winchester celebrate their love with a most romantic and intimate wedding._ **
> 
> _The movie star is currently preparing for shooting the second installment of ‘_ Angel with a Shotgun’ _(to be released in 2022). But before he heads to New York to start filming, the newlyweds are now on their way to enjoy a quiet honeymoon. Where exactly remains a mystery. Though the world hopes for some magical pictures - just like the ones from their wedding._
> 
> _[Click here to browse the gallery]_
> 
> _With their wedding, the pair has taken the next step in a love story Hollywood itself could not have written more wholesome. “I’ve always wanted to find a love just like in the movies,” James says. “Turns out, the real thing is even better!”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Title from Love Affair, "Everlasting Love"
> 
> 💙💚💙 Thank you all for reading!! I had a blast writing this and I hope you enjoyed reading it just as much 💚💙💚
> 
> Stay safe and take care 😘

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Graphics for Just Like In The Movies](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23939569) by [lotrspnfangirl_graphics](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lotrspnfangirl_graphics/pseuds/lotrspnfangirl_graphics)




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